RSS Feed Print
Iris(8)
Michael Ellenbogen
Posted: Saturday, June 6, 2020 5:24 AM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 3501


I am sorry to hear about all of your stress. If I was you I would reach out to all of those you pay and let them know about your condition so they can not the system and have them send reminders if needed it. This way they do not think it a money issues and do not go after you or ruin your credit. There must be something they can do and you may need to talk to management.  If you need help let me know.

 


jfkoc
Posted: Saturday, June 6, 2020 11:49 AM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 19109


Anything I can do to help?
Iris L.
Posted: Monday, June 8, 2020 2:58 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 16650


I'm sorry, I'm just now seeing this thread.  I am working on getting my medical insurance premium on automatic debit.  Creditors are not interested in our personal issues, they just want their money.  I am also working on reducing my stress load, so my memory won't be even more traumatized than it already is.  Ordinarily I don't watch television, but last week I was glued to the tv.  That caused me to become forgetful of my usual routine tasks.  Michael and Judith, thank you both for offering to help me. 

Iris


Marta
Posted: Saturday, June 13, 2020 3:31 PM
Joined: 6/3/2013
Posts: 919


Are things more on an even keel for you, Iris?

I love hearing how you are doing. We are the same age, both in the medical profession. 


Iris L.
Posted: Saturday, June 13, 2020 7:23 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 16650


Hello Marta.  My life is never on an even keel.  Compared to a normal person, my life is messed up and each day is a struggle.  I don't like to talk about my life because there is no point of reference for normal people.  The quality of my life is unacceptable.  But it is my life and I am doing the best I can.  Due to Covid-19, the isolation that I live is now experienced by everyone else.  But everyone else will be returning to their previous lives and socialization, whereas I will remain isolated.  On the plus side, I own my home so I can't be evicted, and I have an income and I am ambulatory.  My alumni association had to cancel our 45th medical school reunion.  They were so disappointed.  I'm glad I didn't have to tell about how I haven't been able to be a doctor for over thirty years.  I don't think my former classmates could relate to me.  No one can relate.  I don't feel bad.  I just want to be able to live inside my bubble, away from the cares of the world and without any pressures of life.  I know this is not a normal life for an adult, but this is what I can handle.  That's a big answer to your question Marta, perhaps more than you wanted to know.  But there it is.  It's nice to know that you are still working.  You seem like your work is satisfying to you.  I'm happy for you, Marta


Iris


Michael Ellenbogen
Posted: Sunday, June 14, 2020 4:11 PM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 3501


Iris, You were a doctor and to me you are still a doctor. You should be very proud of what you have accomplished in life. I know I am even I can no longer do it. We were both very lucky and we cannot ever forget it. No one can take that away from us.   


zauberflote
Posted: Monday, June 15, 2020 1:42 PM
Joined: 10/24/2018
Posts: 1320


Iris, I saw your other post from Saturday on the other forum, and now find this here. You are a shining beacon for me, of strength and competence that I may aspire to but will surely never reach. I wish there were a way for me to help. Hugs and prayers.
Jo C.
Posted: Monday, June 15, 2020 3:53 PM
Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 11377


Hello sweet Iris; I just wanted to drop in and say I am thinking of you, and so respect all you do; you mean a lot to so many of us and are so helpful.

For heavens sake, I cannot remember how many years old you are; I know you have mentioned it, but I cannot recall.  In any case, you are helping many of us here with your experiential wisdom.  I am sorry the med school reunion was not able to be held; I would bet you would do just fine if you did attend if even for a little bit; you would simply smile, say you have been retired and have been doing a lot of traveling (and you sure have traveled), and refocus their topic and let others yak, yak with you simply smiling and taking it all in.  You are awesome!

We two live in adjoining areas; can't beat it for weather and available services, but as we get older, it seems that one does indeed feel more isolated from things in such busy cities - and of course, this dratted viral pandemic certainly adds to that.  Even going to a doctor's appt. is like socialization these days and I feel better for it - just contact is a positive.  Mall sitting and watching others while eating an ice cream cone sounds nice, but stores are not yet open to give traffic and I also do not want the exposure. 

How about driving down to Seal Beach where you can park your car right against the sand. Lovely breeze, watching the gulls play on the air currents, the sound of waves breaking on shore, the taste of salt on your lips and you do not even have to leave your car.  Just roll down the windows, breathe it in and let it be. Some days Catalina is SO clear.  Love watching the ships and even better is if I go early in  the morning and see kite surfers.  So simple and I find it is calming to my spirit.

As far as mundane things that don't mean anything . . . .

If you could only see my hair!   I am an explosion in a hair factory with last year's birds nest atop my poor head.  Other days I look like a wild dandelion gone to seed.  Sigh.  No more tinting, no highlighting; last haircut in December and my hair is very thick - geeze, it feels so strange.  I really, really want a haircut. My hair dresser said she would come to the house, but I am not comfortable with that. My DH has diabetes and his numbers are up, and of course, I am; ahem, "more mature," so neither of use can afford to contract the virus. 

I thought of having her come down the side yard and meet me on the back patio and cut my hair outside with both of us wearing masks, but I am even leery of that.  Just cannot bring anything into our house.

I was also spooked by a woman who was interviewed on the news:  She and her husband were doing well in self-isolation.  However, he really, really wanted a haircut.  So he went on his first outing to the barbers wearing a mask; he was the only client in the shop and the barber wore a mask.  He went right back home after the haircut. In a little over a week, he was positive for COVID19 and sadly, he did not survive. His wife said to the interviewer, "He was killed by a damned haircut."  It really struck me; how awful and how dreadful for her. So here I am, no haircut and looking more like a mess every time I look in the mirror.  Guess I am going to have to stop looking in the mirror.

Iris, this loosening up of where we live; it does not guarantee we will have connections. So many are outside now, but so many more still leery about being out and about.  I keep contact with a couple of friends and family on the phone. I figure the phone works both ways, so if I have not had calls in awhile, I make them and get some good conversation.  I am reading more than ever, and also blessed with cable TV so I can get good stories there too.  Church is on live stream, so there is that.  Yet; person to person contact is still distanced.  Groceries are delivered or on pick-up.  There are volunteer callers in our community and with churches who call folks who are isolated and engage them and also will do errands; that is a nice service to know is there if one wishes it.   

Take good care Ms.Iris and once again, thank you for being you,

J.


Iris L.
Posted: Wednesday, June 17, 2020 12:30 AM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 16650


I'm sorry to report that my medical conditions have gotten to the point when everything is more difficult for me.  I don't think I'll be able to post as much as before.  I appreciate and thank everyone who has educated me and supported me over these many years.  Stay strong!

Iris


Michael Ellenbogen
Posted: Wednesday, June 17, 2020 5:35 AM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 3501


 I totally understand and if there is anything, I can ever do to help you know how to reach me. I truly wish you the best Iris and I am so glad I had met you. 


Jo C.
Posted: Wednesday, June 17, 2020 7:18 AM
Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 11377


Iris, I am so very sorry.  Is there any way we can help?  I live very near your town; do you need me to research any supportive services for you?
 
 Sending out warmest of thoughts and a soft hug to come your way. 

J.


Michael Ellenbogen
Posted: Wednesday, June 17, 2020 8:46 AM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 3501


 If she lives near you I would highly recommend you take advantage of her because she knows what to look for and no one else would need to know. Just you and her. I hope she would reach out to you privately.  I know she wont with me. 


jfkoc
Posted: Wednesday, June 17, 2020 3:14 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 19109


Slow down but please do continue to post. Are you getting the medical care that you need? Do you have the supports in place that you need?

There is very little that can not be set up via telephone or internet so please let us know if we can do some looking or setting up with you.

I will send you my email via PM.

We love you!!!!


Iris L.
Posted: Thursday, June 18, 2020 2:25 AM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 16650


Thank you Jo C, Michael and Judith.  What I need now is a lot of rest and quiet time to work on my taxes.  I have to focus on gathering the information.  I have a lot of other important things to do, but preparing the taxes is the most important time-wise.  No one can help me with this.  My accountant keeps calling me for the information.  At the same time I feel exhausted.  I just have to do things step by step.

Iris


Jo C.
Posted: Thursday, June 18, 2020 10:43 AM
Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 11377


It is rattling and can feel overwhelming to have to collect and get all things together for tax time; it is one of those things that can ramp up anxiety and cause down feelings.  Add to that the pandemic issues and all the dreadful news on TV as well as our own changes and it can sure generate feelings of downturn in ourselves.

I have faith in your going step by step and having this settle a bit better.  Once tax things are off your hands, that at least will be a bit of relief.  One more big thing not to have to deal with.

You know we will all be here and that we all care very deeply.  If you can drop in just to say hello when you feel a minute is available, that would be great.

Lots of warm thoughts once again going out to you,  Iris.

 J.


abc123
Posted: Tuesday, June 23, 2020 12:28 AM
Joined: 6/12/2016
Posts: 1211


Dear Iris, you are an inspiration to me and also a great source of knowledge. I think of you often and I sincerely wish you the best of what you need most. I hope you will continue to post when you have the time. Please take good care of yourself!