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2 Months Today
Pearl W
Posted: Wednesday, May 22, 2019 9:03 AM
Joined: 5/14/2019
Posts: 5


Today marks 2 months since my mom's passed away, but it seems more like 200 years. I still don't feel like I can breath or have my feet under me. After purching numberous books that were not helpful, I found this group. It is so comforting to know that others out there understand how I feel. Taking care of my mom for years was indeed a privlidge. And I was often stressed, worried, and exhaused. It's from this state that I start the greiving and mourning process. In addition to being so overwhelming sad about my mom no longer being with me, I feel very out of sorts because I now have so much time on my hands and I don't really know what to do. If anyone has some tips on how to mange the early stages of grief, I would be grateful to hear from you. 

Blessings,

Pearl 


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AmyJo5
Posted: Wednesday, May 22, 2019 12:47 PM
Joined: 7/28/2017
Posts: 176


I feel for you, Pearl, and send my condolences, hugs, wishes for peace, compassion. I'm having a tough day today myself (not quite to the 6 months mark of losing my mom), and was thinking of reaching out on this forum and then saw your message. I have no wisdom except there are times I have to give in to the grief and stop trying to push push push myself to get done what I "have" to get done. Today is one of those days. Old movies and classic TV help me (though less and less so). Reading helps me. My dog helps me. Going to classes at the YMCA help me (though I find going for walks alone difficult). I don't agree with everything she says, but I listen to the Dr. Laura podcast. I play games on my computer. Connecting with friends is incredibly important: the best day I've had since my mom passed was an overnight with a good friend: we laughed and cried. Maybe that's most important: staying connected with others, though today is one of those days I don't have the energy to reach out to anyone specifically, so I'm just going to lie down for awhile and watch the judge shows, which my mom also loved. What do you like to do, Pearl? Please share with me. Wishing you peace and sending you hugs.
AmyJo5
Posted: Thursday, May 23, 2019 1:06 PM
Joined: 7/28/2017
Posts: 176


By the way, what a fantastic picture. Is that you and your Mom? SUCH JOY is present there. You must have incredible memories (don't let the bad ones crowd out the good, something I struggle with). I really am thinking of you as I sit in the silence today, hurting myself but actually hurting much more for you right now. It does ease, and it will come back, but it will ease again, and come back, and so on, and all we really can do is endure. Connect with others: I'm sure this is most important. Sending wishes for an easier day for you today.
Pearl W
Posted: Friday, May 24, 2019 5:41 PM
Joined: 5/14/2019
Posts: 5


Thank you so much for writing. I found so much comfort and wisdom in your words! I find that when I am connecting with friends or family I can find peace. I also love being in nature. My mom was very social and also loved nature. I went on a mountain bike ride recently and I asked my mom to join me. Biking is a passion of mine, but was not of hers so it was a fun way to have her be with me in that way. I feel for your pain and struggle to do what has to get done. It's helpful to hear that doing things that you like can bring you peace....even if just for a little while. Hearing from you (someone who is facing a similar situation) is so helpful. 

That photo is me and my mom 11 years ago. She loved to dance. It was Christmas Eve and we were doing the gitterbug. I love that photo and that memory. Thank you for your advice about memories. It's funny how the human flaws can sometimes take center stage when there are so many joyful memories. 

Again, thank you for your words of wisdom. I wish you a peaceful day!