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Politics ain't my abiding force.
Andrew60
Posted: Friday, July 21, 2017 7:28 PM
Joined: 7/17/2017
Posts: 342


Good points JFKOC.
Jim Broede
Posted: Friday, July 21, 2017 9:56 PM
Joined: 12/22/2011
Posts: 5462


All of you that post here have accomplished something significant.  You have me thinking, thinking, thinking. About that I might be wrong. About lots of things. That's good. A positive. Isn't it nice to be thinkers?  To be stimulated. Mentally. Emotionally. Many ways. It's nice to agree and disagree. That's part of the individual learning process. Andy is a better man. For disagreeing with me. For calling me out. For standing up for himself. Andy tries to get me to think. About his position. And I try to get Andy to think. About my position. Everyone needs to have their minds stimulated. Even those with dementia. Best, I suppose, to be stimulated with good vibes. And with fresh air. And physical exercise. With human interaction. Nobody should be allowed to become a zombie. --Jim

Underdog
Posted: Friday, July 21, 2017 10:02 PM
Joined: 6/25/2017
Posts: 327


 

Around 13 years ago my son was run over by an SUV. The back tire went over his pelvis. I got the after midnight phone call and drove 3 and a half hours to be with him. It was before we had a cell phone, and from what I heard, I knew I could be going to claim the body. For most of the drive I did nothing but cry.

He was alive when I arrived but they had to get him to a trauma hospital, 3 and a half hours back the way I came. For three of the six days my son was in intensive care; the doctor told me that I might not want to go to work, but rather spend the time with my son. I took that to mean that the doctor thought my son was going to die from the internal damage. They couldn't do surgery at that time.

Going to and from the hospital I was amazed that the world kept turning. Nobody acknowledged the pain and fear I was going through. They were oblivious.

While we were with our son in the intensive care unit my wife and I met a mother of a girl right about my son's age. Her daughter was in a serious car accident and had brain damage, but not the kind that would repair.

That's when I was first introduced to the private little club for people going through tragedy. I understood it then. If it doesn't happen to you, and you are not a very empathetic person,  it's like the club doesn't exist.

My son lived of course; he was bed ridden and I had to give him shots in his stomach twice a day for two months. He had to relearn how to walk but he fully recovered. I graduated from the tragedy club and occasionally I think about that mom and her daughter and feel quite empty and selfish. I assumed she had her support system but we all know that's a gamble.

 

When I learned of my wife's disease and knew that I'm too poor to move closer to anyone who could help, I was told of support groups like the one here. I assumed that was the evolution of the tragedy club and it had gotten sophisticated.

Imagine my surprise to find that hate and division had gotten here first. That the culture doesn't want anything to do with care and acceptance and found ways to sabotage openness, sharing and commitment. Over the past 13 years we have been corrupted with agendas.

That's why I'm put out. I experienced support and compassion before we as humans decided that there are other things more important than relationships. I know what it feels like and this ain't it.

If y'all don't want to hear from me, that's fine. I'll leave. But I want to connect with people who don't give a rat's rear end about the political or religious conflict in the world.

 


Jim Broede
Posted: Saturday, July 22, 2017 1:33 AM
Joined: 12/22/2011
Posts: 5462


I’m confused, Underdog. Don’t know if I’m reading you correctly. Maybe we ae talking two different languages. Using the same words. But with different meanings. Yours.  Mine.  They might as well be foreign languages. Not English. For instance, you say you are peeved with me. For trashing your wife. You must have me confused with someone else.  Trashing your wife? What’s that all about? Give me a clue, please.  I don’t even know your wife. Other than you mentioned she has dementia. Then you want to know what I think about a 12-year-old girl some way connected to Hillary Clinton. I don’t have any idea what that’s all about. Fill me in. How can you expect me to comment on something that I don’t know anything about?  I plead ignorance. Enlighten me. Please.  Tell me what we are supposed to be talking about. Meanwhile, thanks for your life story. Including the tragedy with your son. But it seems to have ended well. Thank goodness. I’m re-reading everything you’ve posted. To see if I’ve missed something. I must have. --Jim

 

P.S. Tell me about your pooch . I'm curious. Looks like the handsome member of your family. Give me a name, too.


Underdog
Posted: Saturday, July 22, 2017 10:27 AM
Joined: 6/25/2017
Posts: 327


Jim, it appears that I'm spinning my wheels, but I will take a stab at helping you understand.

When you say "Little wonder. That I dislike Republicans. They’re hard-hearted. And downright mean.", and my wife is a Republican, you are saying that my wife is mean and hard-hearted. That's how bigotry works. Maybe you can't understand the logic.

Try substituting "African American" or "Jew" or "Woman" with "Republican" and you might see what I mean. Your post would have been deleted and you would have been banned.

Fortunately for you it is popular and acceptable to trash those with conservative thoughts. They agree with you here.

But since you have established the standard here let me try an experiment...

Liberals are cowards. They are lazy, selfish narcissists that want to be taken care of by people who work 6-7 days a week; so they steal their money because they think it is owed to them. It doesn't matter that the system is filled with corruption because they are in power and they profit from it.

The schools dumb down our children so that they can't understand the waste that is bureaucracy and red tape. They teach them that if you throw money at a problem it fixes the problem.

Liberals, by necessity, have to shut down alternative thoughts and ideas. That is why they hate freedom of speech and shut down debate in our universities.

 

While I personally don't believe this, how about I give tirades like this and swamp the musings board with them (as is being done to conservatives) and just tell people if you don't like it don't read it.

 

Concerning my dog, I don't share affectionate stories with people who don't show respect for me or those I love and admire.

 

 

 


Jim Broede
Posted: Saturday, July 22, 2017 11:35 AM
Joined: 12/22/2011
Posts: 5462


 

 

Please understand, Underdog, that I think of politics as a mean game. And also a funny game at the same time. I spend more time laughing at politicians. Than crying or lamenting. Because I know there’s not much I can change. I am compelled to accept reality. Like it or not. So I try to laugh. To joke about Republicans. To castigate the party as a whole. When I know darn well that not all Republicans think alike. There are mavericks. Moderates. Maybe even a liberal Republican hidden away in a primeval forest. Every Republican has a right to be who they are. Conservative. A Trump supporter. I may poke fun at them. And they can poke fun back at me. I do that with my sister. And my daughter. They are rock-ribbed Republicans. As are some of my friends and associates. We get along. And joke with each other. About politics. We generally don’t take politics all that seriously. We banter back and forth. And that’s how I hope you’d take me. More as a stand-up comic. In a comedy club. Long, long ago I learned to laugh at politicians. At myself, too. I don’t miss a night of Stephen Colbert’s monologue. His parody of Donald Trump. It’s hilarious. And Trump hates it. This clever humor.  It’s time that Trump learned to laugh at himself. And to recognize that in many ways, he’s a mean and selfish guy. He ain’t perfect. None of us are. When I say that Republicans are hard-hearted, that’s not a slam at your wife. Any more than it’s a slam at my sister or my daughter. I’m generalizing. Often for the sake of humor. A joke. My sister and my daughter catch my real meaning. They know me. They know my type of humor. You don’t. Let’s give each other a break. By learning where we are coming from. Be my guest at a comedy club some night. I’ll try to teach you to laugh. And to not take life too seriously. Let’s resume our dialogue. When you feel like it.  Let’s get to know each other a little better. I suspect that deep down, we’re both nice guys. It just takes getting to know each other.  It takes time and effort. If I had a one-on-one with you. Face to face. I dare say we might hit it off. --Jim

 


jfkoc
Posted: Saturday, July 22, 2017 11:52 AM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 20401


Underdog...

It was  not until tragedy entered my life that I understood the difference between sympathy and empathy. Some experiences are not shared second hand. I know the accident changed all touched. 

Musing has had basically only one poster for a long time. Others have pretty much steered clear. I invite you come over to the spouse's  forum. Rarely a bad vibe. I especially invite you to read I just need to talk to my friends.

It was started some  years ago by a lady who simply laid out that she wanted to connect. That she did. Some of us have been sharing for years, some are new posters and many simply read. It is also filled with dogs!

BTW...I still have my husbands dog. We went to Petsmart adoption day to look for a dog. Someone who knew him was walking Luke and went over to the car to say hello. Luke jumped into the car. End of the search.

I was going for a dog small enough to wash in the kitchen sink...25 pounds? Luke weighs 85 pounds, has 1/4 blue eye, an old soul and seizures. The seizures are probably the reason he was given up.

Anyway it is just Luke and me now...sometimes we just look into each others eyes with sadness but understanding.


Underdog
Posted: Saturday, July 22, 2017 2:36 PM
Joined: 6/25/2017
Posts: 327


Ok Jim, you finally explained in a way in which I can understand. Words have no absolute or discernible meaning.

You're an existentialist. An act of kindness is equal to an act of meanness, and anyone can interpret it the way they wish. No biggie.

I don't live that way.

So this revelation helped me figure the site out. ALZ.org is an arm of the Democrat Party. It's purpose is to promote and gain votes and power for Democrats.

I think Crushed is the most open and enthusiastic about it, he should be put him on the payroll if he isn't already.

But this isn't my cup of tea and I won't get the type of help I'll need in the coming months and years. My values don't line up.

I'll bow out.


jfkoc
Posted: Saturday, July 22, 2017 3:01 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 20401


I hope you will come back. It is/has been a lifeline for many of us. There is a lot of  important information all over the boards shared here that you will not get anywhere else. Also support when you want it.
Andrew60
Posted: Saturday, July 22, 2017 4:07 PM
Joined: 7/17/2017
Posts: 342


Concur with jfkoc, dont leave underdog, there is  a wealth of information throughout all the different sections on this forum.

Im a staunch conservative, and I dont consider this board a tool, or arm of the DNC. With the exception of the musing section, politics does not even get talked about.


jfkoc
Posted: Saturday, July 22, 2017 4:20 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 20401


well someone did turn a post on some information re healthcare into being political
Jim Broede
Posted: Sunday, July 23, 2017 7:21 AM
Joined: 12/22/2011
Posts: 5462


You are catching on to me, Underdog. I’m well-read. In Kierkegaard, Sartre, Camus and Nietzsche.  And many others of similar bent. I identify myself to strangers as a romantic idealist, a spiritual free-thinker, a political liberal, a lover, a dreamer.  Then we proceed from there. You pose an interesting contrast. You are different. Than me. That’s what I like most about you. We can learn to accept and understand each other. Life. Life is so wonderful. So many opportunities. To become truly alive. To shape one’s own being. The freedom to be. My route to happiness. Meanwhile, I'd like to see you bow in. Not out.- It would be nice to have you around.  We could try to stimulate each other.. If nothing else, it could be an opportunity for me to get to know your dog. I savor the consolations of life. --Jim
Jo C.
Posted: Sunday, July 23, 2017 8:16 AM
Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 12281


Underdog, you must have so much on your plate with your situation and I am truly so sorry for what is happening.  What you are personally facing is very important.  Support is here for you, but for what you are experiencing in your caregiving and personal life, I think you would be best served on a different Forum.

From what I have read, it may be that you are not quite in the right space for what this Message Board is primarily intended for.  Have you gone to the Spousal and/or the Caregiver's Forums to read?   This particular Forum is a place most avoid or do not bother to attend for a variety of reasons.

For those who are presently in the midst of caregiving and all that entails with deep personal loss, when there is so much more to be positively experienced on a healthy and concretely helpful basis on the aforementioned Forums, why continue on with something that causes frustration and upset.

One cannot continue to always do the exact same thing in the exact same way and expect a different outcome. 

For healthy personal support, understanding, great input, helpful information based on experiential wisdom where the rubber hits the road in caregiving, the Spousal and Caregiver Forums are the most attended Forums because that is what is provided.

I have been with this Message Board since 2006.   My mother had FrontoTemporal Dementia, my step-dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease, and my MIL and GMIL each had Alzheimer's Disease.

When I was fairly new to the advancing dementia needs and all the significant life changes, it was the kind and loving people on the other Forums who welcomed, understood and provided support and input that kept my head above water in the most difficult of times and who also helped me maintain my perspective.  That was a big one during those worst of times.   Those Forums are a soft and very supportive place to land.

Therefore, if you have not done so and care to do so, I invite you to venture over to the Spousal and/or Caregiving Forums.  I do not think you will be disappointed and you will be warmly welcomed.  It is of course up to you.

Oh yes; before I forget; no, neither this Association nor this Message Board are an arm of or dedicated to a particular poltical party agenda.  If it was a political party based Association for any political party whatsoever, I certainly would not have stayed nor volunteered my time to give back to others in recognition of the helpful support I received here across my personal Caregiving life.

Being in the most difficult times of our lives when it feels as though the earth is shifting under our feet because nothing will ever be the same again and the pain is deep and the losses on multiple fronts are great, it is far healthier to avoid those situations and/or dynamics that foster negative feelings.  

I send you and your beloved wife warm thoughts and so hope to see you on one or more of the supportive Forums,

J.


Jim Broede
Posted: Sunday, July 23, 2017 12:27 PM
Joined: 12/22/2011
Posts: 5462


The nicest thing about these message boards, Underdog, is that there’s a place for virtually everyone. You can connect with the likes of me.  In musings. And the likes of Jo C in the other forums. With rare exception. I think we all try to respect each other. Despite different approaches to life.  Philosophically and otherwise.  So really, it doesn’t matter where you land. You’ll be treated with respect from one end of the forums to another. Seems to me that over the years, even Jo C and I have learned to respect and accommodate each other.  Politely. Respectfully. That’s one reason why I stick around. In musings. I’m more comfortable here. I’m more likely to have the opportunity to interact with some very creative and understanding and tolerant people. Even poets, for instance. Many find respite here. From what can be the mental and physical stress of care-giving. Many of us are looking for more balance in our lives. Ways to get on with life. During and after the Alzheimer’s experience. I even met the second true love of my life here.  Cristina. An Italian. And a teacher of English and English literature.  Her mother had Alzheimer’s. My sweet Jeanne died nine years ago. After 38 years of marriage. For the past eight years, Cristina and I have cultivated our loving relationship. Getting on with life. Together. Sharing our mutual love of life. She’s arriving. Here in Minnesota. Tomorrow. To live with me for the rest of summer. And most winters. I live with her in Sardinia. Her lifelong homeland. The second largest island in the Mediterranean Sea.  My message. Life can be very, very good. After Alzheimer’s. No reason to mark time. Get on with life. With what life was meant to be. Try to be in love. With life. Every single day. It’s coming easy for me. I feel blessed. --Jim

 


w/e
Posted: Sunday, July 23, 2017 3:01 PM
Joined: 3/7/2012
Posts: 1752


A while back, in conversation with my immortal beloved... Not in the USA ... From the outside, looking in.

Empires ... Empires have bloomed. Empires have died.

Poli-tricks ... The people lamenting. Drowning in a sea of confusion and lies.

My immortal beloved asked, "What does the face in the mirror look like?"

My response... "Ah, the face of Lady Liberty."

Lady Liberty...  I know her well ... In addition to uncovering the tracks of the covered tracks of oppression and exploitation, she uncovers the tracks of the covered tracks of deceit.

O hope! ... Lady Liberty... Whence you came. You will lead.



Andrew60
Posted: Sunday, July 23, 2017 6:35 PM
Joined: 7/17/2017
Posts: 342


To the mods - why is this political thread allowed to stay? Jim has called republicans racists, stupid, mean, Hitler, and referred to the conservative supreme court jusrices "the scum of the earth". Why is this hate filled thread allowed to Remain? Its one thing to have a differing political opinions,  but all the name calling for those who happen to represent almost 50 percent of the US population?

I went back to page one of this thread, and couldnt believe what you allow to remain on this "dementia" forum.

Please delete this hate filled thread. I invite anyone to read this thread in its entirity. Get a barf bag first.

Jim, you write so well, and have many other great threads, but this one, its one of the slimiest threads I have ever read. Your better than that, I think.

 


chrisp1653
Posted: Sunday, July 23, 2017 8:58 PM
Joined: 1/23/2017
Posts: 1320


Andy, I do agree with you that this is a pretty lousy thread. There's too much name calling, and too much putting people into little boxes that don't always fit. But I don't agree that it should be deleted. I feel that history has had enough of that. As if , somehow, by deleting a written record, we can unsay  what has been said. I do wish it could be closed, though. No more entries. No additions, but also no subtractions. Did something get said in the heat of the moment that was later regretted ? That doesn't change the fact that it was said. I know I've commented on this thread a few times, and been tempted a bunch more times. I don't like being called names, or labeled, any more than anyone else does. It does get kind of tiring. And for what it's worth, I'm a registered Republican who would have voted for Bernie Sanders if I could have. I can't say I agreed with him on a lot, but he seems to have taken the high road most of the time.

 

Chris


jfkoc
Posted: Sunday, July 23, 2017 9:12 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 20401


I think I wrote in Bernie...lol

The only way to end this thread is to stop posting. I will visit with you elsewhere.


ALZConnected Moderator
Posted: Tuesday, July 25, 2017 5:09 PM
Joined: 8/17/2011
Posts: 348


This thread is no longer supportive and has been locked.

ALZConnected invites and encourages a healthy exchange of opinions. 

Participants agree to encourage civility, be supportive, be relevant and be responsible.  

Thank you for your cooperation.

ALZConnected Moderator