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"Is it Time to Give Up Living Alone?" by Helen Dennis
Iris L.
Posted: Thursday, July 11, 2013 12:19 AM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 18704

Helen Dennis is a specialist in aging, with academic, corporate and nonprofit experience. She writes a column about aging for a local newspaper.  I read this article at the beginning of the year and promptly lost it.  I searched on the internet until I found it.  

She gives good advice about making decisions based on the senior's point of view. Most articles about not living alone are from the caregiver's point of view.  I thought members might be interested in her advice. 

Our independence is very important to us.  Helen Davis presents objective points to consider before things get to the point of crisis, when an outsider might feel the need to intervene.

Please read and see what you think. I already noted seven areas of concern about my independence.

Iris L.


Posted: Thursday, July 11, 2013 3:48 AM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 514

Oops!  When I attempted to lock on the link, I received one of those "File not Found" replies.  

Im anxious to read the article.  Can you please try to confirm the http?  Maybe the sight is just down.  I will check later.

Thanks. :}

Posted: Thursday, July 11, 2013 7:04 AM
Joined: 3/27/2013
Posts: 190


I was able to access the "errors"...give it another try!!!



Iris L,

Thank you for posting the articles address!


For many on these boards...and from my own experience...

because our LOs reasoner is broken... they do not see their own demise...


the point of crisis is what we dread, but what we have to wait for...before we're allowed to intervene...


we have been trying for years to encourage my folks to make a move to a safer environment, before that choice is taken from them.


However, I do plan on printing a copy of this article... to leave with my folks to read at their leisure...


You mention that you noted seven areas of concern in your own case...

may I ask...what are your plans now?






Posted: Thursday, July 11, 2013 9:13 AM
Joined: 3/7/2012
Posts: 2790

I was able to pull up the article also.  It certainly gives one pause to stop and think not only of the 'here and now' but of the future.


Thank you for posting it.



Iris L.
Posted: Thursday, July 11, 2013 11:57 AM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 18704

Geegee, I just tried the link again, and it came up easily.  Have you gotten in?

I liked this column because it lists concerns from the older person's point of view, not from the family's point of view.  By the time many members become concerned about their LOs, they no longer have the ability to read this article and come to a conclusion and make meaningful plans for their future.  That's where the family comes in.

Those of us who are well aware of our situations need some objective values by which to make decisions.  I have found, after working with many professionals who work with older adults, that they have no idea of what are significant concerns for older adults living alone. 

None of the professionals have mentioned any concern to me except for risk of falls.  I get better information and advice from outside sources. 

As I said before, this column was in my local paper.  I had a hard time finding it on the internet.

I hope all of us who live alone get a chance to read this column.  I read somewhere that 25% (approximately) of people with dementia live alone.  This is a huge problem.

If anyone still has a hard time linking, I will copy the whole column.

Iris L.


Posted: Thursday, July 11, 2013 1:42 PM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 514

It came up fine today.  Like I mentioned, there could have been a computer problem or the site may have been down.

I have it saved so I can read it later.  It sounds like something that others need to comprehend.  Thanks so much.
Posted: Thursday, July 11, 2013 5:58 PM
Joined: 4/15/2012
Posts: 247

I read the article. The timing is uncanny. My oldest son is home from Texas and we had this exact discussion. Although I can still preform my IADLS and IDLS. I want to plan for the worse and hope for the best, It gives me a sense of control to know everyone knows my wishes and when it is time to place me in Assisted Living. I also wrote a letter to my husband and started video diaries for my boys and hubby. Reinforcing my wishes. I only hope they follow my wishes.
Posted: Saturday, July 13, 2013 1:58 PM
Joined: 3/14/2013
Posts: 348

My siblings and I tried many times to have these conversations with my parents, only to have them cut us off with a sharp "we're not there yet!" Then in a moment they *were* there, living in a house with a dozen level changes, stairs, etc. Things were so much more chaotic and difficult because they had not thought ahead. I have told my husband I will always have a "what if" plan for us so my relatives have an easier time of it when it is my turn.