Today has been one of those days that I woke up happy and started the day out good and then within a few hours I am aggravated and agitated. My mood can go from fine to demon horns coming out . LOL ... I try so hard not to let this happen but its like hitting a switch and I dont know what is triggering it. Its been more often lately. This disease sucks.. I think my DH is still in denial and he wants to know why im being so mean . He says I need to relax and be happy... He has no idea what its like being in my head and I have told him this. He is so sweet to me but at times things he says irritates me or I feel like he is just in denial. I have tried to talk to him and I have tried to get him to come on here but he won't . My daughter knows when I am getting upset and she is such a great help to me. My DH watched his grandmother many many years ago suffer thru this disease but she was elderly and I am not and he doesnt seem to understand the symptoms are different in every I one. I love him so much we have been married 30 Years I just dont know how to approach him and not worry him because he had a widow maker heart attack 2 years ago and he has said he has enough to worry about. Im sorry didnt mean to air my laundry . Just so frustrated. Have any of you been thru this same thing. Any advice??   Thanks

Kaye, I'm sorry you are going through this.  There seems to be 2 issues.   

1) Your mood swings  

2) Your husband's response 

I'm not married so I can't give you advice in that area.  In general, I make a deliberate effort to avoid people who are not understanding and supportive of me. 

I also make a deliberate effort to remain in a calm mood.  I just don't let things bother me.  I avoid conflict and disturbing issues or news.   

One of our emeritus members, Tom, used to remind us of the Serenity Prayer.  I think of this prayer often.  It has helped me put things in perspective.  

It will help you to develop a personal philosophy that will help you going forward.  I believe that managing moods will be one of the major challenges of this illness.  We have to use all means to confront mood swings.  It will be an ongoing process.

I also journal.  This helps me analyze and figure out what direction to go in.  I post questions to my fellow members when I need their opinions.  I pray. 

Some members use exercise or other methods.  Humor is always useful.  Some members use medications.  You have to discover what works for you. 

Whatever you do, don't beat yourself up about it.  Mood swings are part of the illness.  I think striving for calmness can relieve the worst aspects of dementia.  Sometimes, if we let go and release, things tend to work themselves out.  Sometimes, stressing about something is worse than what the actual incident is about.   

I also follow another motto:   

Remember 2 rules. 

Rule 1:  Don't sweat the small stuff.   

Rule 2:  It's all small stuff. 

Take what you like and leave the rest.  Find out what works for you.  I'm praying for you to have calmer moods, Kaye.

Iris L. 

Kaye, Iris always has such good thorough advice. All I can say is that I agree with her. You have to find something that works for you whether it is exercise, quite time, journaling, writing, or something so that your frustration is channeled elsewhere rather than on your loved ones.

My wife was in denial initially as well. I could not explain all that was going on in my head to help her understand. But as time passed (2 years), she began to accept my diagnosis and reacted more positively to my moodiness, my demeanor, and my frustrations. It take time for those close to you to adjust to your new normal.

I also learned to channel my frustration elsewhere through writing, prayer, and seeing a Psychologist. My wife and I still talk a lot about what is going on but I try not to unload on her. This has helped very much.

God Bless, Paul

I don't want to imply that I am 100% of the time in a calm mood.  I am not.  I have my depressed moments, as I have shared on the boards.  But I make it my focus to aim for a calm mood.  This helps to bring me back to center, and helps me to not dwell on the negativities, which inevitably come up.   

My point is, things will come up to bring us down.  Develop a personal plan, a personal philosophy that will put up shields against these arrows.  Our battle is not against flesh and blood, or the people in our lives, but our battle is a spiritual and emotional battle.  We have to be mindful of our focus every day.

Iris L. 

Welcome to our world. We are sorry you are here, but you have found a wonderful community.

Please, in particular, look for posts by Lisa 428 and Myriam.

It sounds as though you might have familial AD. Myriam also does.

Lisa has Early Onset and helped care for her mom who was also afflicted.

See if your library has a copy of or can get you a copy of :

Maria Shriver.'s, A Woman's Nation Takes on Alzheimer.  There is a wonderful doubld spread photo of Lisa and her mom as well as several other pictures of Lisa. Truth: I also have an essay in it. It is a good, but not an easy, read.

i have bvFTD.  from what my neurologist, neuropsychiatrist and therapist tell me, i will have "highs" and "lows", ebbs and flows.  my moods change frequently.

i do a combination of mindfulness-based stress reduction, listening to music, going for walks, limited exercise because of my physical limitations (but i do try), talking with a therapist twice a month and, of course, prayer.  i also take trileptal which helps with my FTD headaches, smooths out the emotions, curtails the outbursts and helps with the pseudobulbar affect. 

it's not all 100% effective, but i do allow myself to spend time having a good cry.  we are all experiencing loss: of health, jobs, friends and relatives and sense of self.  i allow myself to grieve for those losses.  and, who knows, i may grieve until God calls me home!  in the meantime, i will continue on.

God bless all!