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Thinking about my life now
Iris L.
Posted: Sunday, April 3, 2016 1:09 AM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 18508


Today is my 66th birthday.  Most of my family did not make it this far, because they died in their fifties and even forties.  When my mother retired at age 65, she had five good years left.  Actually, less, because she battled cancer for 19 months before passing at age 70.  But I know that the time she had after retiring was good, because she told me so.  This is what I want for myself.


My mother was a traditional woman, who cared for her husband and children.  In those days, there was no term such as stay-at-home mom.  When I was 12, and my brother was 10, my mother went to work in order to afford orthodontia for me.  She then worked until her retirement.  She had become a widow in her early 40s.  My father was 58 when he passed.


When I consider my life, I think the operative word would be waiting.  I waited to become a doctor.  I waited to get married.  I waited  to become a mother. After I became ill with lupus, I waited to feel better.  After I had trouble with my memory, I waited for the meds and Best Practices to work.  I feel like I finally have reached a point were I am not waiting, where I can finally just live my life.  This is what I am aiming to do.

 

There is nothing impeding me from having the life I want.  I am not waiting for anything. At the same time, I want to live for my family who did not make it as far as I have.  This is my desire.


So, this is what I am thinking about now.


Iris L.




BillBRNC
Posted: Sunday, April 3, 2016 9:05 AM
Joined: 12/2/2015
Posts: 1018


Iris, good observations and analysis. I wish you success. I'm not sure you'll find it on these Boards, but than again helping others is also a good way of living life. Good luck. I mean it. Bill.
Jo C.
Posted: Sunday, April 3, 2016 11:24 AM
Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 13593


IRIS - HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

Cake, ice cream, streamers, balloons, confetti, paper whistles that roll out:  TWEE-TWEE!   Happy Dance; look - here comes llee and alz+ and Lisa, there's Mimi and Bill; Julie is at the door . . . . more cake, more ice cream; TWEE-TWEE!!  Balloons everywhere; more confetti - lots and lots of confetti - Cake?  More cake?   Hooray!  Boy; did you ever see SO many candles on a cake?????   TWEE-TWEE- THWUCK; GERK; BLAT;  (Darned whistle broke); okay, more ice cream?  Open the presents for the present Iris . . . . . I just know there will be some good stuff in there . . . . like a trip to the Grand Canyon and to China and other places, WOW!  

Happy, happy day dear Iris, and lots of hugs all around.

J.

 


jfkoc
Posted: Sunday, April 3, 2016 11:32 AM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 21242


Wishing you a very Happy Birthday....looks like a great party already!!!!
julielarson
Posted: Sunday, April 3, 2016 11:35 AM
Joined: 9/30/2015
Posts: 1155


A very Happy Birthday to you Iris..
Lane Simonian
Posted: Sunday, April 3, 2016 11:56 AM
Joined: 12/12/2011
Posts: 5158


Happy Birthday, Iris!  I am glad that you are no longer waiting.  
Iris L.
Posted: Sunday, April 3, 2016 2:57 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 18508


Thank you, everyone, for the birthday wishes.  I have to have a quiet celebration today because I am still dealing with the flu.  But I'll still kick up my heels!


Iris L.


Unforgiven
Posted: Sunday, April 3, 2016 3:59 PM
Joined: 1/28/2013
Posts: 2659


Mazel tov, Iris, and many happy returns!  You are so right.  Live is to be lived and savored right down to the last drop.  You and I are the same age now.

Today the Almighty gave me the gift of four deer lying down in my back yard to enjoy the sun, as seen from my bedroom window.  Money can't buy things like that.  There's a daily gift in the changing colors of the sky.  Life is wonderful, and you're right to enjoy it on behalf of your loves ones who didn't make it this far.


EMay
Posted: Sunday, April 3, 2016 5:55 PM
Joined: 3/17/2013
Posts: 32


Iris - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! I wish you much joy and peace in the future! And how wonderful you have found that you are not waiting anymore!  Live life to the fullest!  Elaine  PS- that party would be great fun!
Mimi S.
Posted: Sunday, April 3, 2016 6:41 PM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 7027


Happy Birthday, Iris.

You're well on your way to outliving your mom.

And even with AD and the other conditions I have, I have lived longer than my parents and am the last surviving member of my birth family. 

I credit my stubborness, Best Practices and other meds for being what and where I am.

 


Veterans kid
Posted: Sunday, April 3, 2016 9:37 PM
Joined: 10/17/2014
Posts: 1239


Happy birthday to you...

Happy birthday to you...

Happy birthday, Iris...

Happy birthday to YOU!!!!!

And many more    

My gift, is that you didn't have to hear me sing it

A quiet and reflective day can be good for ones soul.  

I'm sorry you're having to deal with the flu and all that it entails.

I will have 2 poptarts- one for you and one for my dad

Sending hugs, virtual chicken noodle soup, 7-Up, and of course, something sweet!

VK


The_Sun_Still_Rises
Posted: Sunday, April 3, 2016 11:21 PM
Joined: 7/24/2015
Posts: 3020


You post remind me many quotes collected along years.  Happy Birthday Iris, an I be glad you wake up start live you life. <3

If you have no seen it, you might real like Fried Green Tomatoes...I be love their saying, Towanda!

Or Dead Poet Society's Cease The Day...Carpe Deim.

Thich Nhat Hanh has a saying bout how we are very good at working things...but no very good at living. 

Like you, I filled my last 10 years with thoughts of what I would be do aft my mom...an I had many fine plans for then.  I wish I could be go off do them now while still some chance...but there still be my mom, so I have needed make peace with that I will no eve get do those things I have spent last 10 winters dreaming of.  It was nough be dream them for me. 

What I like bout having granddaughter round...is she real reminder hug them while you still can, because you now know (as you kids grown) there will come day she will no let you do it an more. 

Hope you had amazing day.  <3


a_step@a_time
Posted: Monday, April 4, 2016 1:00 AM
Joined: 11/21/2015
Posts: 237


Cheers Iris! A 'clink' of the champaign glasses.... Happy Birthdayyyyyy!!
a_step@a_time
Posted: Monday, April 4, 2016 1:01 AM
Joined: 11/21/2015
Posts: 237


Cheers Iris! A 'clink' of the champaign glasses.... Happy Birthdayyyyyy!!
llee08032
Posted: Monday, April 4, 2016 6:28 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4408


Dearest Iris,

Happy belated birthday and many, many more!    

I read your post yesterday and somehow missed or forgot the birthday topic by the time I got to the middle paragraph! 

Thank you for saving me a piece of birthday cake and I don't mind drinking melted ice cream either.

xoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxo

alz+
Posted: Monday, April 4, 2016 7:34 AM
Joined: 9/12/2013
Posts: 3608


Iris!

First Happy Birthday! and may the flu dissolve quickly.

what a great post. WAITING. what a concept.

It is like the big PAUSE button on life. You gave me more insight and I am excited for you.

Do you still have cats? Did you ever make them wear  party hats?

I am still processing your last insight that hit me about "predictability" and how that creates space to spread our wings. 

Much love. Enjoy and thrive. You are the best!  (((((((hugs))))))


Iris L.
Posted: Monday, April 4, 2016 4:47 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 18508


Another thought that came to me:  I used to think of who I would be when I grew up.  Well, I'm all grown up now, finally, at age sixty-six.  This is it.  I am  who I am.  (Thanks, Popeye!) I don't have to wait around for the next chapter of my life.  This is the next chapter.


Yes, Alz+, I am still mom to four cats.  They let me know they don't like any type of hats.


Iris L.