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New traditions
Iris L.
Posted: Thursday, November 24, 2016 11:15 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 18719

I have always been a person who relished old traditions for the holidays.  It was very important for me to have the exact same menu every Thanksgiving, and the same routine, since childhood.  We always had a huge family gathering with all the traditional foods and trimmings.  

But over the years, the way I have celebrated Thanksgiving Day has changed.  Slowly but surely, I am releasing my stronghold on old traditions.  And this release has nothing to do with memory loss.  It has to do with changes in my family structure, and getting older, and not wanting to cook from scratch.  It is still Thanksgiving without a huge table set with the good china and people in from out of town and cooking food for two days to prepare.  

My other family members are changing their traditions, also.  So I am seeing this as a good thing, not as a loss.  It's OKAY for me to celebrate Thanksgiving in a new way!  I had a great Thanksgiving Day today, as I gave thanks for what I am thankful for!

Iris L.

Mimi S.
Posted: Friday, November 25, 2016 8:00 AM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 7027

So true, Iris.  Holidays are to be enjoyed.
Posted: Friday, November 25, 2016 2:42 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 21317

Well said. I must say that yesterday was a challenge for me. I knew it would be difficult one, really the first one w/ o my husband and two it included 4 house guests for the weekend.

I knew that I would be best to plan ahead and did but then it grew from a table nicely set for 8 to 12 and then at the last minute 13. Everyone needed to be a chief. Finally I realized that I could let it go and leave the kitchen etc to others. 

Well, guests arrived at 5:30 however the turkey went in at 5. Thanks you advice from you all here I looked out for myself and it was all least I

Posted: Friday, November 25, 2016 4:39 PM
Joined: 9/30/2015
Posts: 1155

jfkoc, you are a god send you know that? You make me feel like there is hope.. LOL! I so enjoy your posts in this part of the site. You are always so encouraging to us here.
Posted: Friday, November 25, 2016 5:33 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 21317

Julie...thank you. You have no idea how badly I needed a word of encouragement. I really miss my husband and would rather, much rather, be alone. Being here is a close second.

Posted: Friday, November 25, 2016 9:20 PM
Joined: 2/24/2016
Posts: 1096

Jfkoc, I also enjoy reading your posts.  Thanks for being here with us
Mimi S.
Posted: Saturday, November 26, 2016 7:06 PM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 7027


Hope you felt good at the end of a hectic day. That first year is very hard. Hang in there.

Do you talk to him?  Helped me.
Posted: Sunday, December 4, 2016 9:22 AM
Joined: 7/24/2015
Posts: 3020

As much as I loved the older traditions, and the way my grandmother made the turkey and my uncle carved it with such pizzazz...what a burden on my grandmother.  And what of when she died?  Were we stop have thanksgiving? 

The problem with old traditions is, all the kids who grew up and want add their magic amazing pie, or their new great stuffing recipe....are left out.  Older folk do not always see that, but the  younger folk are often hurt.  As the youngest of all my cousins and the oldest of all the next generation...and stuck as resident playmate at the kids table, I watched those kids grow to fine adults with families of their own. 

I also watched as the greater family fell apart with my grandmothers death and then my aunts (the family/tradition glue)...and literally no one else cared carry the ball.  I watched as the older folks (my siblings) purposefully excluded the younger generation who were struggling with their young kids have a large family tradition.  Older folks often disregard younger people as non-existant, meaningless, and having nothing worthwhile contribute.  They have their lives and they literally just cannot be bothered to widen their small circles include them.  So they don't. 

So the younger generation, with their young and growing families, simply created their OWN traditions...for THEIR families. 

My pissy older siblings who cannot be bothered with my mom, will come see her after know, so they can do their own thing in freedom.

Meanwhile...what do we have left us???  But create our OWN new tradition. 

So yes, like you can helps come around an embrace new traditions. 

Hope you have a great holiday.