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Saddened in 2018
Iris L.
Posted: Friday, January 5, 2018 1:26 AM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 16934


  It's a new year and like everyone else, I want to begin the new year in a positive mode.  But right off, I am saddened and disheartened.  I have not visited the Musings board for a long time until now after reading Ilee's post today on the YOAD board.  I was dismayed to discover that I have been the subject of discussion on several threads.  The subject being reference to being a fraud and a fake and a know it all, and something evidently much worse, since the moderators have already deleted it.  I have deliberately been avoiding responding to certain members' posts for months, so I don't know why I am being written about so harshly behind my back.   I am a member of this online support group who is dealing with serious cognitive impairments and memory loss, who has undergone many subsequent losses, and who is here seeking support for myself and trying to help other people as I have been helped.


Iris L.


chrisp1653
Posted: Friday, January 5, 2018 3:30 AM
Joined: 1/23/2017
Posts: 1281


Iris, I'm not sure if it helps any, but my bible verse post for this Thursday up in caregivers was about this kind of thing. Not specific hating and baiting, but the overall unthinking  posts of some people who don't seem to give a rip as to what this forum is about and who it's for.

Hang in there, please.

Chris


dayn2nite2
Posted: Friday, January 5, 2018 5:44 AM
Joined: 6/20/2016
Posts: 2554


Who told you this?  Because I haven't seen your name attached to anything like that, nor have I seen you being called a fraud or whatever else.

I really feel that when people post the same thing on multiple boards like that it's really UNhelpful and really only stirs up trouble.
dayn2nite2
Posted: Friday, January 5, 2018 1:23 PM
Joined: 6/20/2016
Posts: 2554


Regarding connection requests - while anyone is free to request a connection with another member, there is no obligation on the part of the person being invited to connect to accept.

I myself have a few connection requests piling up because I do not want to communicate off the board.  My preference.

Let's please allow each of us to accept or not accept connection requests for WHATEVER reason we wish.  My lack of response on my requests is no reflection on the persons asking - it's just a blanket policy I have where I am not making private connections at this time.
BlueSkies
Posted: Friday, January 5, 2018 9:32 PM
Joined: 2/24/2016
Posts: 1096


I have been bothered all day by this post.   I tried to respond twice but nothing I put feels right or sounds right so I deleted both my responses.  

I will have to stop myself from being drawn into these kind of discussions from now on.  They are starting to effect my health and are draining me of energy that I have little of any more.

I only wish you the best Iris.


MissHer
Posted: Friday, January 5, 2018 9:48 PM
Joined: 11/13/2014
Posts: 2365


BlueSkies, 

  Please don't worry. Its not good and FYI its been going on since I have been here. People get offended and don't come back for awhile.  So maybe ignore it and keep posting. We are all different and that's good. If we were all the same then life would be boring. lol


MissHer
Posted: Friday, January 5, 2018 10:06 PM
Joined: 11/13/2014
Posts: 2365


Plus Iris really seems to be a good person who just wants us all to do the best we can.  She helps everyone, including us caregivers.  That is our goal.
BillBRNC
Posted: Saturday, January 6, 2018 8:25 AM
Joined: 12/2/2015
Posts: 1018


Well, all I can say is nothing at all. I am gone from the EO Board and I am now gone from the Musing Board. And I am also gone from Caregivers because I just sick and tired of this place. It has so much potential it really bothers me that potential is not being realized. I was just going to go without saying anything, but... and I think I will do just that. Thanks to those who have helped me. Oh, I will keep my acccount open so I can send and retrieve messages from certain people who suffer from dementia.
just exhibit Love
Posted: Saturday, January 6, 2018 9:45 AM
Joined: 12/6/2011
Posts: 681


Bill

some thoughts for you my friend..we cannot choose what people say or how they say it..but it is our choice how we choose to  respond to them...do not give those who do not really understand.. any power by not posting where you choose..this message board is for everyone to share thoughts and feelings and many of us enjoy reading different points of view...it is all perception my friend.

 and I feel if  you have  helped just one person get through a bad  day who really needs to read your words and feel validated then you are truly appreciated by that person.. and you my friend are paying it forward and you are giving  what someone here needs at that moment in time.

  I have been where you are now..and chose to stand my ground and I feel you should to. Do what your heart tells you it knows best.

This I know for sure the musing board is my favorite place..there are some special human beings giving of themselves.. and know this too shall pass..

  you do not hold a candle to what jim and I have been through on this board..if you had been on the caregiver forum 7 years ago Bill you would have laughed til you cried at some of my posts and jim's as our positive attitudes were not tolerated  at all well and we did not give up and we are both still here...and yes there were times I wanted to shoot my computer..but I chose not to..my husband was in law enforcement  and I was a Rn and I worked on a psych unit full time and in the ER part time..

  when my husbands mom needed me..we brought her to our home and I became her full time caregiver til she took her last breath.. and I have no regrets as this I could give. I so miss the woman my husband calls mom and being her caregiver taught me not to take one day for granted anymore..and to cherish every day and to live in gratitude.

Namaste

Love Rosie

 


MissHer
Posted: Saturday, January 6, 2018 10:12 AM
Joined: 11/13/2014
Posts: 2365


 Just exhibit Love,

An attitude of gratitude. Yup, I agree. That's it! Thanks for the reminder. You just never know when you say something that helps someone. 

 

Deb


sharon11daugherty
Posted: Friday, January 12, 2018 10:05 AM
Joined: 8/6/2015
Posts: 1736


I think when we choose to lay our lives before others, as in this forum, we do not expect to be attacked for the way we 'feel' What a surprise to realize that what I meant as tender to one, came out different to another. 

I realized that if I was going to be a part of this Alzheimer's family, I had to be the Bigger Person and forgive. Just like in our homes.

Blessings, because life is not easy, sharon


BlueSkies
Posted: Friday, January 12, 2018 11:08 AM
Joined: 2/24/2016
Posts: 1096


Sharon, I said I would no longer get sucked into these discussions but in response to you, I just want to say, this was not "meant" to be an attack.  I know it must have felt that way to Iris, since unfortunately Bill got a bit carried away and used Iris name specifically.   I do understand how she must have felt.  And am sorry she read this and got so upset.  I am sure I would have too.   I wish she could have tried to talk more about this and be able to work things out.  That's what I really want.  For all of us to be friends.  But I respect that Iris is doing what she has to do.  Sending her only love and healing...

But, I also know Bill.  He is a very kind and gentle soul.  Who is struggling with a terrible disease.   He was just venting out of extreme frustration.  As many were.  This was more a group of people voicing their frustrations over the way they are responded to on early onset board by some people.  And I personally understand that, as I have been there myself.  No one was purposefully  trying to hurt Iris.  I know I wasn't.  I hope she comes back and is able to see this post for what it was...venting out of extreme frustration.

We are all doing the best we can.  Wishing only love and peace to all on here...

 


sharon11daugherty
Posted: Friday, January 12, 2018 12:39 PM
Joined: 8/6/2015
Posts: 1736


I am so with you, sweet friend. I feel the same. Sharon