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Renew Vows?
MrToad
Posted: Thursday, July 19, 2018 11:26 AM
Joined: 7/13/2017
Posts: 444


When I walked into the Memory Center the other day, Kathleen looked at me and announced, “I’d like to marry you!

“Well, that’s great sweetheart. Y’know, we already are, but how about we renew our vows?”

“Oh. OK.”

“I can ask that sweet young priest, Pastor Andrea, to do the honors. She came here and met you last month and you told her I was just a toad.”

“Oh, yeah, she was nice”

“There’s a little chapel here, we can use that”

“We’ll be your bridesmaids” said a couple of the young caregivers excitedly.

“We’ll get cake and ice cream.”

Kathleen’s eyes lit up.

“We wrote our own vows way back then 45 years ago. We could update them. I would promise to love and honor you and always take care of you”.

“Ok.”

“And then you could promise to love and honor me, and not tease me about my eyebrows, or smack me.”

…………… “Oh…. Then never mind” 

 

And thus an actual plan was conceived. Forty five years ago we got married on the 27th of December, (darn near the longest night of the year). I'd like to say that even if I had known then...…., but that younger Toad had perhaps more lust than wisdom, so I am not sure I can honestly say I would have. What I can say today is that I am not only happy to be Kathleen's husband, but would love to reaffirm and announce that to the world.  

Most properly, we'd do it in December, but she has lately fallen off a plateau of stability and may be entering a rapid decline. Maybe it will re-stabilize. I do not know how she will be 5 months from now. Besides, the date doesn't make much real difference. Hmm.

 To be continued, I hope.

 

 


chrisp1653
Posted: Thursday, July 19, 2018 1:06 PM
Joined: 1/23/2017
Posts: 1281


" The road goes ever on and on, " even if we don't.
jfkoc
Posted: Thursday, July 19, 2018 2:10 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 19625


Her eyes lit up? How about weekly!
ruthmendez
Posted: Thursday, July 19, 2018 3:24 PM
Joined: 9/8/2017
Posts: 2329


Please, let us know how it goes.  I'm hooked now.
ladyzetta
Posted: Thursday, July 19, 2018 3:41 PM
Joined: 2/16/2017
Posts: 1308


Mr. Toad.

That is so sweet, Hugs to the Both of You, Zetta 


chrisp1653
Posted: Thursday, July 19, 2018 5:05 PM
Joined: 1/23/2017
Posts: 1281


Ruth ! You get hooked on everything. Ya got style, girl !

 


ruthmendez
Posted: Thursday, July 19, 2018 5:18 PM
Joined: 9/8/2017
Posts: 2329


chrisp1653 wrote:

Ruth ! You get hooked on everything. Ya got style, girl !

I wonder if that's not so much a good thang....haha!..

Kind of an addictive personality. 

 



ExpressoTime
Posted: Thursday, July 19, 2018 10:17 PM
Joined: 3/11/2018
Posts: 546


Does she get to say "I Kathleen, take you, Mr. Toad..." ? 

It's all very sweet. You're a good man. You go above and beyond.  


Jo C.
Posted: Friday, July 20, 2018 9:22 AM
Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 11595


If Kathleen is no longer able to actively participate in five months, the Priest can always conduct a blessing on the marriage for the two of you with bystanders in attendance if tolerated, or just immediate family if activity processing with too much input is no longer tolerated well.

You will find just the right thing done in the best way, because that is what you do best.

Best wishes to you and Kathleen,

J.


llee08032
Posted: Saturday, July 21, 2018 9:29 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4408


Ahh, Mr. Toad, I knew the love, it's soul and it's spirit does not leave us! All this while post dx I've refused to believe that the greatest awe and wonder of life that is love could leave my brain also.  The heart does not forget!

Kathleen still loves you...how wonderful is that?

Thank you, for writing one of the most hopeful and inspiring post I've ever read!

Now a favor to ask...could you please, please, repost you're Love Story on the Young Onset forum?  Please spread the word and give our very best thoughts and prayers to Kathleen.


MrToad
Posted: Saturday, July 21, 2018 10:08 AM
Joined: 7/13/2017
Posts: 444


 

Expresso Time—

I love the idea of her saying, “I take you, Toad”. Thank you. The sweet young priest we have is just cool enough to go with it I think. After all, once a toad, always were a toad, or something like that.  

Do they rent Tuxes to Toads?

 

Jo C—

And I thank you for the suggestion about a blessing. It may indeed be more like that. It will be fine with Kathleen as long as there’s ice cream involved. This is shaping up nicely, and indeed I may well not wait until December. A recent sudden decline and death in Kathleen's Memory Center household of a resident who had been quite vocal and alert just a couple of weeks ago has really shaken me up. I know, everyone’s journey is different, (except for its end). But I also know that, as Victor Borge said, making predictions is very difficult, especially about the future. Kathleen may see ten more Decembers, or maybe not.

Ilee---

Glad you liked this post. Did you suggest this be  reposted on the Young onset forum?

 

 


alz+
Posted: Sunday, July 22, 2018 9:11 AM
Joined: 9/12/2013
Posts: 3583


Mr Toad and wife - congrats on a life well lived.

blessings on you both.

what L lee said, the ability to love to does not come from the brain, in fact, the brain often ruins love. 

I have found it very hard to change my Mind's desire to believe some thing that irritates me or what old information makes me hold a grudge, but I can still open my heart and the mind follows.

this was important post to those of us with alz, very helpful to watch someone handle things with grace and love!


skericheri
Posted: Sunday, July 22, 2018 12:21 PM
Joined: 12/10/2011
Posts: 287


Mr.Toad, If there was a Musings Hall Of Fame this would occupy the top spot.  Thanks for sharing !!!  Please keep us updated.
ExpressoTime
Posted: Sunday, July 22, 2018 9:13 PM
Joined: 3/11/2018
Posts: 546


MrToad wrote:

Do they rent Tuxes to Toads?

If anybody gives you a hard time because you're a toad, you look them straight in the eye and tell them you are also known as Kathleen's "frog prince" 

MissHer
Posted: Monday, July 23, 2018 9:28 PM
Joined: 11/13/2014
Posts: 2365


Your're not a toad your an angel. What a lovely gesture.
storycrafter`
Posted: Tuesday, July 24, 2018 10:25 PM
Joined: 12/17/2014
Posts: 1166


(((Mr. Toad/Frog Prince)))