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Strategies for home life-please help
Posted: Sunday, July 12, 2020 11:37 PM
Joined: 7/12/2020
Posts: 1

This is my first day here. I’m glad to find some help. I am looking for ideas to help my dad throughout his day. He is still really functioning quite well however he misplaces objects all of the time and then cannot relax and calm down until he finds them. The major culprits are his phone, his keys, his wallet, This is my first day here. I’m glad to find some help. I am looking for ideas to help my dad throughout his day. He is still really functioning quite well however he misplaces objects all of the time and then cannot relax and calm down until he finds them. The major culprits are his phone, his keys, his wallet and sunglasses. He has that Tile on somethings but it seems to only sometimes work. Any strategies for helping him/us be able to keep them all together?
Posted: Tuesday, July 14, 2020 8:40 PM
Joined: 10/24/2018
Posts: 1572

Mirjoh, if you post this on the Caregiver Forum, you will get many more answers. It's pretty busy there.
Posted: Friday, July 31, 2020 1:29 AM
Joined: 3/12/2017
Posts: 294

Mirjoh, so sorry you're dealing with this, my dad has the same thing going on.  Do you know why the Tile doesn't work sometimes?  Is the signal being blocked in certain places?  I don't know a lot about the tech stuff, but here is a place where they review GPS devices like Tile.  Hope you can get some help there,
Posted: Tuesday, August 18, 2020 9:18 AM
Joined: 5/30/2020
Posts: 5

ugh. This is such a challenging time in the progression of dementia. The good news is that it does pass. I am the primary care partner for my friend who has dementia. I think distraction is helpful. At a certain point, I would say, "oh here's your bag...." It may not have been the bag that was lost, but the illusion of finding whatever was lost tends to assuage the anxiety of the PWD. Unfortunately it didn't always assuage my anxiety/annoyance, but it worked for him. Gradually, I took responsibility for all of these items. I put them in a drawer and he just stopped noticing he didn't have them. In many ways, my friend is much easier to work with now that he has progressed to a later stage.
Posted: Friday, September 4, 2020 1:12 PM
Joined: 9/12/2013
Posts: 3608


loved your sense that as disease progressed things got easier.

When early in this condition I was upset by those missing things, a lot and often.

I taught myself to let things be missing. Seems like the idea/image of the lost thing is blacked out by brain.  "I just looked there and it wasn't there, and now it is!" happened so often I learned to tell myself it might turn up and relax. Yesterday after days of not finding any sweat pants and starting to get upset, I stopped, took deep breaths, told myself it'll be a nice surprise when I find them.

Found them today in my emergency escape bag (wild fires). 

Earlier on in cognitive changes I was frustrated often and people around me did not like that. People upset around me increased anxiety, anxiety lowers cognitive abilities - no one told me I could learn new ways of doing things, or how to try giving up certain things. The idea is give it up for an hour or day or week and see how that feels. Always the anxiety about stuff is the worst of it.

Simplify, streamline, edit the stuff I need every day (prescriptions, coffee beans, toothpaste, etc) always same place = easier living with cognitive changes. I gave up all things to do with money and numbers. I just do things I can do and like to do - laundry, swimming, watch movies, sit with neighbor cat, water plants.

I had telephone counseling to help with anxiety - I hate telephones, ha! It helped and learned we can Learn to work with changes. I also suspect when an automatic way of doing things was erased I could sometimes use other parts of brain to do same thing -different but same outcome. 

when I discovered I can't do somethings the old way but I can do similar in new way, and when it was too aggravating and just drop it (money management in my case is just over).

Let a person do things they can do - rock hunting , wash a car, fold laundry, pull weeds, dance... etc and let them do it. My dad was upset when we took keys from him, he loved his car. So we washed it and it satisfied him.

We can still learn to calm ourselves, maybe easier later on than in beginning? When trouble handling stuff I learned to tell myself "so what? find peace" and I calm down.

Also CBD oil allows me more room to get through day with nothing broken. 

Look at cognitive changes with new eyes. Add a dog and things usually get better. Attitude determines mindset to some degree.

Posted: Tuesday, August 30, 2022 3:22 PM
Joined: 8/30/2022
Posts: 1

It it possible to connect him with someone who can be with him all day long?
bull dog
Posted: Wednesday, August 31, 2022 11:41 AM
Joined: 4/1/2018
Posts: 144

Hello Mirjoh, When my husband started misplacing his wallet and keys I got him a wallet that had a medal ring attached to it and I put a thin chain with a open and close hook on the end of it. I put his wallet in his pants pocket and attached the hook that opens and closes to his pants loop on the waist of his pants. For his keys that were on a medal ring I did the same and I put his keys in his other pocket of his pants and attached the chain and hook to his other belt loop that is  above his pants pocket. I had him wear the same pants, then I would give him a  new pair of pants and attach the wallet and keys to the new pair of pants and I would take away the old pants to be washed. He never lost his wallet and keys ever again after that.
bull dog
Posted: Wednesday, August 31, 2022 12:04 PM
Joined: 4/1/2018
Posts: 144

Hello Alz+  I really liked reading your post. It was very helpful on how to deal with memory difficulties. I misplace things myself sometimes. Good advice on not getting obsessed to find something right away, it may be something that we may not need right away anyway and we will eventually find it. Also I likes the part that you said about retraining and using a different part of your brain to do things differently but to  accomplish the same task. Thank you for posting these helpful things that you have learned, that  have helped with memory difficulties.