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Friend Still Asking Why Me
Posted: Saturday, March 27, 2021 7:42 AM
Joined: 2/18/2021
Posts: 3

How do I get my friend to get past the stage of WHY ME?  I'm tell him every day he has so much to offer this disease doesn't define who he is.  Things that once came easy for him is a struggle and he gets frustrated and angry. How do we get past this?
Posted: Sunday, March 28, 2021 8:29 AM
Joined: 5/22/2016
Posts: 801

I don't think you can. My DH was diagnosed over 5 years ago. He still wants to know why him.
Posted: Monday, March 29, 2021 6:33 PM
Joined: 11/22/2019
Posts: 399

It might take time or it might be a sorrow that does not waver.

Getting a diagnosis of AD or dementia is very frightening for most of us.

It means change that cannot be controlled.

It means our way of life will be gradually lost.

It usually means a progression into cognitive disability that requires outside assistance.

It can mean a loss of what we perceive as our essential self.

If your friend can find an experienced therapist who has worked with PWD (people with dementia) in the past, encourage them to do so.

If your friend is open to the idea (and has not already done so) encourage second opinions or treatment options.

I am using the Exelon patch and Namenda to help maintain my cognitive functioning.

I did not notice a difference when starting Namenda, but I did with the Exalon patch.

Encourage them to join this message board.  Those of us with AD or dementia or mild cognitive impairment interact here and answer each other's questions and cheer on success.

You can also take classes or join support groups to help you understand what is happening and how to keep yourself balanced while helping your friend.

Posted: Thursday, April 1, 2021 6:25 PM
Joined: 2/18/2021
Posts: 3

Thank you for your reply as it has been helpful.  I would love for him to get a 2nd opinion but his family isn't on the same page.  I seem to be the only one working with him daily to keep as many skills going as possible.  I'm NOT giving up.  I'll look at the exelon patch and try to bring it up to the "unapproachable" family.