RSS Feed Print
About care-giving, love, life.
Jim Broede
Posted: Thursday, January 12, 2012 5:51 AM
Joined: 12/22/2011
Posts: 5462


For 13 years I was an Alzheimer's care-giver. Learning on the job. For my dear sweet wife Jeanne. I made a choice. Seems to me if men can choose to get in, women can choose to get out. I made that point recently elsewhere on the these wonderful message boards. When a woman care-giver said she was feeling like she was in 'forced slavery.' Many women choose not to get out, in part, because of the pressures of the societal structure. We need to change the structure so that more women truly have the option to opt out of 'forced slavery.' It's a shame that some women feel 'forced.' By the societal structure/pressure. By what's expected of them. It ain't fair. I don't look down my big nose at anyone who chooses not to be a care-giver. Man or woman. It's a mammoth task. An incredible responsibility. Some are up to it. Others not. Maybe the best care-givers do it out of an act of love. That's nice. But even some of those break down. They can't handle it any more. And I empathize with them. It often requires immense physical, mental and emotional endurance. And not all of us have that. Which is no shame. There are human limits. All I know is that I have learned great respect for Alzheimer care-givers. I know what it's like. I'm reflecting on this now. Almost five years to the day that Jeanne died. Leaving a big void in my life. But at the same time, I've gotten on with life. Maybe because Jeanne taught me something. About care-giving. About love. About life. -Jim
Jim Broede
Posted: Friday, April 6, 2012 6:26 AM
Joined: 12/22/2011
Posts: 5462


Let me remind you again, folks. This sums it up. The best choice is to go on living. To savor what's left. The magnificence of life. --Jim
dschnebly
Posted: Friday, July 27, 2012 12:39 PM
Joined: 3/7/2012
Posts: 1


Dentist or not to dentist? My mother is now 78 years old and in a wonderful care facility. She is in the moderate stage and literally lives in the moment. Changes are hard of course. My question is whether or not my family and I should have her teeth cleaned by the regular dentist. It''s been a couple of years since a dentist came to her room to clean her teeth. He can''t continue and the other alternative is to take her to a regular dentist. IS THIS THE RIGHT THING TO DO? Some family members feel it would be too hard on her to get them cleaned at all, and others are afraid for her dental health and future health as mouth health is directly involved in overall health. Is it worth it to put her through a dental cleaning at this stage of the disease? What about her dignity as well?
Mimi S.
Posted: Saturday, July 28, 2012 4:27 PM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 7028


Hi D.

I feel the best place to pose your question is on the Caregivers section of the message boards. Get there by hitting Message Boards at the top and then click on caregivers. Once there, look for something like start a new thread. Then ask your question.


Jim Broede
Posted: Sunday, July 29, 2012 10:10 AM
Joined: 12/22/2011
Posts: 5462


Musings is a good place to post, too. Especially in my threads. Because you'll always get a positive response. I took my dear sweet Jeanne to the dentist regularly. I went with her. To relieve any anxiety. I held her hand. Gave her confidence. And every night, I helped her brush her teeth. I brushed them for her. Diligently. Carefully. I also used picks. It was a tedious maneuver. But it worked. I also gave her a shower. Every night. Because that's what she was used to before Alzheimer's. No reason to change the routine. Good hygiene is good hygiene. With or without Alzheimer's. One doesn't stop loving and caring just because of Alzheimer's. It's important to carry on. --Jim