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Love: The essence of one's being.
Jim Broede
Posted: Sunday, September 16, 2012 9:31 AM
Joined: 12/22/2011
Posts: 5462


Can't change the world. But I can change the way I look at life. Maybe it's best to accept the world, and to make the best of it. By falling in love. Primarily, with life. Even when things go bad. By learning from the experience. That happened when my dear wife Jeanne had a 13-year siege with Alzheimer's and up and died after 38 years of a loving marriage. Took me a while to adjust to being a care-giver. But eventually, I learned the craft. And in the process learned to truly love Jeanne. Which turned into love of life. Discovering that it's possible to fall in love again. In more meaningful ways. There's no limit to the depths of true love. Love is a priceless commodity. In that love lives/resides in the soul. It becomes the essence of one's being. --Jim
Sea Field
Posted: Tuesday, September 18, 2012 1:51 PM
Joined: 8/5/2012
Posts: 1872


One of my favorite bumper stickers is "Change the way you see, not the way you look".  Granted, I suspect the bumper sticker was intended as a message related to our obsession with our physical looks.  But it can also offer guidance about life in general. 

 

Maybe one of life's greatest talents is being able to change the way we see our circumstances.  Often we are not wise enough to realize what is 'good' and what is 'bad'.  (feel like I should put out a disclaimer here so I don't get any nasty grams about that last statement!)  There is a saying that what wounds us, heals us.  I am just starting to get a feel for the truth of this. 

 

The last thing I wanted was to be a dementia caregiver for another relative (first my mother, now my husband).  But here I am.  If I could get out of this caregiving circumstance I would.  In a heart beat.  But in the meanwhile,  I have noticed how much my heart has opened, how much my perspective has changed - about things like what is important, ...

 

Again, thanks Jim. Please keep posting.  The fact that you have survived and been transformed by the caregiving experience is a dose of true medicine for those of us still in the thick of the dementia trenches.