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Caregiver Dating
Posted: Wednesday, February 12, 2014 12:24 AM
Joined: 12/6/2011
Posts: 3326

Lonestray, you are blessed to have had such love.
Posted: Wednesday, February 12, 2014 3:56 AM
Joined: 8/12/2013
Posts: 158


Yes, I have indeed been blessed in so many ways. In a strange way the main blessing was to never had a conventional upbringing. Many might think to be locked away from the outside world from the age of two to sixteen a disadvantage.

Most people accept as normal the love of parents or family members in their childhood. The words Mum or Dad were not in my vocabulary and as for adults I learned very early in life not to trust them.


It was not until my care giving days that I was to learn how and why I was denied a childhood. By the time I was released into the outside world, I was a total misfit. Years of abuse, starvation and hard work in a total male environment left its mark. I'd never experienced celebrating birthdays, mixing with the opposite sex or receiving a proper education.


 Free for the first time was so exciting and wonderful, I was free to learn from the wonders all about me. There was no more being told what to do. I would do things my way and take control of my life. My early life remained a secret until  recent years. A loveless early life gave me an appreciation of true love and the warmth of family life.

When I reflect on what I have achieved in life have a rye smile, when I consider what co-workers might have thought of my background. I achieved a post of Superintendent with Lockheed and luckily retired age 54 to spend precious time with my wife and grandchildren.

Many travel through the orchard of life and fail to even notice the abundance of fruit, never mind taste a sample. My learning was from the university of life. That learning I added to and applied during my care giving days.

Posted: Thursday, February 13, 2014 10:13 AM
Joined: 9/12/2013
Posts: 3608

Lonestray wrote:


My late wife was diagnosed with AD in her late fifties. She passed away aged 73.


Reading the posts on this subject makes me realize how very fortunate I have been to have found a very special girl to share my life with. We were married 52 years and during the final years of her illness I grew to love her all the more. It was that love that empowered me to spend each day 24/7 year on year care giving for her on my own at home. Each fleeting moment was too precious to share with anyone.

For the past six years I've lived alone and the thought of another woman is non existent.

She has left me a reminder of her wonderful self in the form of a son and wonderful daughter she gave birth to. Now there are nine grandchildren plus nine great grandchildren, all doing well. What more could any man wish for?

wish for great great grand children? thank you for being you, doing what you've done, the example you've set, reminding me about love's endurance.

Posted: Thursday, February 13, 2014 1:31 PM
Joined: 12/6/2011
Posts: 3326

Posted: Saturday, April 26, 2014 11:16 PM
Joined: 6/27/2012
Posts: 10

Supreme Court Justice Susan Day O'Connor placed her husband in a nursing home due to Alzheimer's.  He also had a relationship with another women in the nursing home with Justice O'Connor's blessing.
Iris L.
Posted: Sunday, April 27, 2014 12:24 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 18508

Why are you rubbing this in us patients' noses?   


I find this offensive. 


While we're in a facility, our devoted spouse is not so devoted, but living it up with someone else!

No wonder so many patients are fearful of leaving their homes.

Iris L.


Mimi S.
Posted: Sunday, April 27, 2014 1:41 PM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 7027

Oh boy, What a hot topic.


I don't think the type of relationship mr. O'Connor had in his ALF was the kind of relationship the original poster was speaking about.

Posted: Sunday, April 27, 2014 5:07 PM
Joined: 12/6/2011
Posts: 3326

I believe most people are doing the best they can. There are persons I've known with dementia whom have had affairs, as well as caregivers. The vast majority don't. They are too busy trying to cope and survive.
Posted: Monday, April 28, 2014 8:48 PM
Joined: 1/24/2014
Posts: 978

I'm just checking in here.  

Everybody will do whatever they do.     

As for me, I'm staying with my lady.  


Iris L.
Posted: Monday, April 28, 2014 9:07 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 18508

Yes, people will do what they want to do, but why deliberately bring negativity to the patients' board? 


I was just today trying to think of something to post that would be uplifting for us patients, because I've been reading a lot of negativity.  I feel like I'm being bombarded by negativity.

I couldn't come up with anything.

Being a patient with cognitive impairmern is difficult, because no one around us understands and wants to be encouraging, and the other patients are struggling to be positive themselves.


Then someone comes along and wants to shove the knife deeper into our backs.  Great.

Iris L.

Posted: Tuesday, April 29, 2014 1:18 PM
Joined: 4/7/2014
Posts: 10

I was diagnosed with AD in 2008. It would only add to my useless feeling if my wife defected!