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The way a woman should be loved.
Jim Broede
Posted: Sunday, December 20, 2015 3:01 PM
Joined: 12/22/2011
Posts: 5462


A divorced woman. With two kids. A daughter, 12. And a son, 8. Furthermore, she was nine years older than me. Yes, that was my true love. Dear sweet Jeanne. We got hitched. In 1969. And had 38 happy years. Together. Until Jeanne died. Of complications. From Alzheimer's. My mother cautioned me. Against marriage. But I knew better. I knew Jeanne was right for me. And I was right for Jeanne. Goes to show. That I was much smarter than my dumb mother. When it comes to love. I'm brilliant. A genius. As perceptive as they come. I'm a true lover. A dreamer.  A romantic idealist. Jeanne was a refugee. From a dysfunctional marriage. A cheating husband.  With no clue that he was married to a gem. Maybe the nicest woman in the world. Several years ago, when Jeanne's ex-husband was on his deathbed, I went to see him. To thank him. For his mistakes. For not recognizing that Jeanne was a blessing. That he passed on to me. He did me a favor.  By, in essence, rejecting and maltreating Jeanne. That made it easy for me. Jeanne was ready. To be loved. The way a woman should be loved. --Jim
Jim Broede
Posted: Monday, December 21, 2015 12:16 PM
Joined: 12/22/2011
Posts: 5462


I’m fascinated. By the notion of love. The very concept.  When one is in love. Truly in love. It gives one a sense of aliveness. The pursuit of happiness. The pursuit of love. It’s all one. And the same. --Jim

 


sharon11daugherty
Posted: Monday, December 21, 2015 1:56 PM
Joined: 8/6/2015
Posts: 1736


Jim, I have chewed on this one for a few days..The part that shot me in theheart was when you mentioned your 'dumb mother'.

I too, was in your moms spot 20 yrs ago. My son had dropped out of college and was washing windows. When he fell in  love with a beautiful girl, older than he, widowed with 2 children.....He was earning minimum wage eating tuna every day and sleeping in his friends office.He called and invited us to the wedding. We wanted him to wait until he at least had a bank account...We felt so bad that he was getting  in way over his head, he did not even have  a place to live.

Fast forward 20 years, 2 children grown and my granddaughter is an engineering major 3rd yr college. They had son now 16.

Well, my son amazed me as he began a business and supported the family, I realize that ,that was his driving force to work so hard.  As his mom who loved him to pieces I hope someday he doesn't call me  'dumb' for loving him so!


Jim Broede
Posted: Monday, December 21, 2015 3:30 PM
Joined: 12/22/2011
Posts: 5462


The nice thing, dear Sharon, is that my mother came to love Jeanne. Truly. Maybe even more than she loved me. Which I find very gratifying. Because mother loved me very much. It would not have bothered me in the least if mother loved Jeanne more than me. There was plenty of love to go around. I have always been the recipient of lots of love. And I have been blessed with love genes, too. From my dear, dear mother. --Jim

sharon11daugherty
Posted: Monday, December 21, 2015 8:04 PM
Joined: 8/6/2015
Posts: 1736


I like dear, dear mom , better! My daughter Iin law is precious as well. I am so proud, as your mom was, at the father my son became.
Jim Broede
Posted: Monday, December 21, 2015 10:07 PM
Joined: 12/22/2011
Posts: 5462


My mother thought I was getting in way over my head, too, dear Sharon. She perceived Jeanne’s divorce, and her two kids and her being nine years older than me – as baggage. As potential troubles down the road.  Mom didn’t trust my judgment. She should have known better. I had dated other women. Mostly younger than me. The older Jeanne was an immediate breath of fresh air.  I fell in love. Right from the start. And the love matured and grew stronger. It was a rock-solid relationship. From beginning to end. And I liked everything that came with Jeanne. Her children became my children. I became their ‘biological’ father, so to speak. By the way, my ready-made family came with two dogs. A highly protective German shepherd. And a blind cocker spaniel. I never had pets when growing up. Wasn’t long before daughter Kiki brought home a stray cat. She found in the woods. I declared, ‘No way.’ That two dogs were enough. Anyway, I was overruled. Outvoted, 3-1. Just as well. Because I fell in love with cats. We had up to five cats at a time. Because I was the one who wanted to take in every stray that happened by. Yes, life works in strange and mysterious ways. --Jim

 


Jim Broede
Posted: Tuesday, December 22, 2015 11:31 AM
Joined: 12/22/2011
Posts: 5462


Sharon:
If you are ever called a 'dumb mother' by me, don't take it personally.  It's a figure of speech. Meant in a humorous vein. Like telling you, you made a mistake. A miscalculation. We all do. That's the story of one's life. Chock full of mistakes. Blunders.  And it's best that we laugh them off. And make corrections. So that the mistakes become learning experiences. My mother was 'dumb' about Jeanne. Initially. Fortunately, and to her credit, she fully recognized that she was wrong. And admitted it. Believe me. I've made more than my share of 'dumb' mistakes, too. Nothing to be ashamed of. Especially, when one gets on with his life.  Oh, we are such imperfect beings.  It's a wonder that we survive it all. But that's the grand and glorious nature of life.  That's why I am in love. Despite being 'dumb Jim.'  And you, Sharon, happen to be 'dumb Sharon.' That's what makes you 'marvelous Sharon,' too. Really, in the end, you are a conglomeration of lovable traits. You'd not be Sharon. If not for your 'dumb mistakes.' Yes, your learning experiences. That's the way I see you. my dear friend. Take it all as a compliment.  --Dumb Jim.
sharon11daugherty
Posted: Tuesday, December 22, 2015 9:26 PM
Joined: 8/6/2015
Posts: 1736


Oh, sweet Jim, you know how to use those words. I was just feeling so much comrodery with your mom and I couldn't let that go quietly. In  my life, I have been every kind of mother there is except a great grandma!  Truly I am a mother addict!

I just got a call from my son asking me if he could buy our piano we bought when he was 5!  It is a Steinway we thought would make money for us as an investment. Ho Ho we put it in a music store, it sat for a year and I just gave it to a young family with 3 girls who all play. I just could not stand to see it not being played.   I told him he should had mentioned it in the last 10 years, he could of had it. Not once had he played it or mentioned it!  Another blunder, but he lives 5 miles away, you would think he would notice it hadn't been here for over a year!  This mother stuff is hard..

Thank you for sharing your past with me, I really enjoy reading. So aside from an occasional rant, I hope you will continue to communicate as you have. I am honest to a fault, there is no pretense in me. I do like to be corrected nicely. I have been sharing your writing with my loved one . He is enjoying them as well. He was a prolific reader until January. Now I read to him  slowly and he enjoys it. His mind and vision 'is unraveling' as he puts it.

Thank you for becoming a dear friend through our words.  Sharon


Jim Broede
Posted: Wednesday, January 4, 2017 7:28 AM
Joined: 12/22/2011
Posts: 5462


That's what we all need. A dear friend or two. Makes me wonder. Are any of you friendless?  If so, tell us. Maybe we can solve the problem. That is, if it is a problem. --Jim