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Tough questions
Posted: Wednesday, August 9, 2017 11:42 AM
Joined: 7/6/2017
Posts: 19

My 46 year old husband dx with PPA FTD is progressing rapidly. Sometimes I let myself think of the funeral and all the planning and how I am going to have the strength to figure this all out. Yes, he could live a long time in a shell of a body with a strong heart but no one knows how long but we do know the end is coming. So, can the funeral be planned somewhat ahead of time? What about a burial site? I am overwhelmed thinking of having to make these decisions when he dies. Any insight would be helpful.
Posted: Wednesday, August 9, 2017 12:18 PM
Joined: 8/10/2016
Posts: 4148


Where I live everything can be planned for and paid for ahead of time.  My heart breaks for you and your family.  Hope this helps in some small way.

Iris L.
Posted: Wednesday, August 9, 2017 1:06 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 18692

I'm sorry your husband is progressing and that he is unable to join us patients. The members of the Spouse/Partner board may have more answers for your specific questions.

Iris L.

Michael Ellenbogen
Posted: Thursday, August 10, 2017 9:42 AM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 4494

In my case I have everything already selected and paid for. It makes sense to do it early and not under pressure.  You also get better prices if it is not a last minute issue and you have no choice at that time. 

Michael Ellenbogen
Posted: Thursday, August 10, 2017 9:45 AM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 4494

One last thing if you make the plans make it irrevocable so it does not effect you if you need money from the government in the future. 

Posted: Thursday, August 10, 2017 12:56 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 21306

Sure you can plan ahead. I did not. Thankfully our Hospice was a great help. The funeral home was more than wonderful. Having a good relationship there was a blessing. They were not creepy coming to the house in suits and slick hair. Instead it was casual. It made a difference to me. A big difference.

While you are thinking ahead decide if you want to be together and plan accordingly. I wish we had had the conversation of where we wanted to end up.


Posted: Thursday, August 10, 2017 4:41 PM
Joined: 9/12/2013
Posts: 3608

tip for anyone:

Costco sells coffins for cheaper than dirt shipped to your door. I bought my ash box 10 years ago.

I am really sorry you see your husband as becoming a body shell. I would work on that after planning the funeral. Keep in mind life is strange and you might go first.

This is not meant to be weird or funny. I am saying this in all honesty. I don't think it is my place to say more.

wishing you both love and courage