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eternal shingles and a fragile mind
alz+
Posted: Monday, December 18, 2017 1:45 PM
Joined: 9/12/2013
Posts: 3608


this round came out in 24 hours more forceful than before. The doctor had given me a prescription to have on file so I could get anti-viral meds asap without another appointment.

frosting on this cake is my left leg has gone shaky, seems like it is from back deformity and nerve damage but who knows.

My mind and heart are very fragile due to the itching and pain and the effects of the meds. Seems like daughter in law was kind of planning some trip so I could visit the grand kids at a resort or something in April. That is not going to happen in this condition and traveling itself is too iffy  with husband's horrible temper. 

If I were to get a ticket out west to stay at ex husband's house he would be no use to helping me with shingles but at least he would not be mad about the world turning.

also we signed up for Jitterbug smart phones which are lousy phones and not smart enough, so to get refund I need a new phone at a new service within 2 weeks, my daughter is going to try to find me one so all I have to do is pay for it.

Can't help but think my husband's bad mood is stoking my shingles. Doctor said there was a concern they are becoming permanent, I think she is right. so constant shingles, no hearing, one eye working 50%, and the left leg faltering.

happy holidays!   on the bright side I have not wet my pants since starting the estrogen.   thinking of getting myself a plane ticket and a cab and leaving Keeper to himself. Want to find myself a place to unwind.

anyone else running away? ideas?


Iris L.
Posted: Monday, December 18, 2017 4:14 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 18502


Shingles again?  Ugh!  I hope the anti-viral medication works promptly.  I'm sorry that you are struggling with the idea of running away.  I know you will make the right decision, Alz+.  Do what will make you comfortable.


Iris L.


llee08032
Posted: Tuesday, December 19, 2017 6:03 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4408


Alz+,

You so need to catch a break! It's been quite a year for you with one hit after the other. Iris, is right go with the decision that brings you the most peace. Love, LL


alz+
Posted: Tuesday, December 19, 2017 11:12 AM
Joined: 9/12/2013
Posts: 3608


Not having good day, again. up with the itching and leg pain all night. the antivirals make my intestine freeze up and my mind feels ultra sensitive.

My son thinks I am going to somehow meet them at a park and go hike, my daughter thinks I can "just order a new phone off ebay or where ever".

Husband still drowning me in explanations. Hospice nurse comes Thursday, they don't have a clue what this is like - no one.

I heard a psychiatrist say "the number one indicator of an impending suicide is when the person says they feel they are nothing but a burden."

I am not about to kill myself but I do not have enough support to endure my current living situation and be plagued.

Nervous breakdown No. 567 this year.  May have to see neurologist if shingles is now causing leg failure and confusion. Why bother?

merry christmas and happy new year. seriously bummed and very tired of being brave.


Iris L.
Posted: Tuesday, December 19, 2017 2:06 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 18502


I don't know if this will work for you, but have you tried colloidal oatmeal baths?  You can purchase that at a local drug store.


I tell everyone that I am fine, but really, I am just treading water in the sea of life.


Iris L.


llee08032
Posted: Wednesday, December 20, 2017 6:00 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4408


It's okay to be vulnerable. They don't and can't get it. The expectations don't fit your current reality. Your the one that's making sense. Take off the brave face and just be gentle and kind to yourself. (((((((Alz+)))))))))