I see auras. 

plants talk to me. i was wondering if other people have similar experiences.  intense experience think is that crazy? then walk in house and find book, Language Older Than Words, story of man who learns to "speak" and lsiten to animals stars plants, rivers, Life. so shocked don't recall bringing the book from home. never read it before, describes this type interaction - very intense book and dense so only read little bit but just what was in my mind at time.

 Habib's dog is elderly, nearing end of life,  dog and I exchange info and have become close. my dog communicates more too .

 man on road " I saw" the injury in his shoulder and touched hsi shoulder, he jumped. he told me weeks later he knew something happened,  said now using his arm again.

can't hold a thought tonight, woke up and "felt" something,  have also been having dreams but cannot hold them. did not have real storyline color dreams in years

think of my son, texting him, house phone rings, it is him calling.  synchronicities

forgot what I was going to inquire about, just checking in then. oh and forget how to make computer work, just listen to stuff on headphones can still figure out youtube. so not checking in so much. 

love and courage

Unforgiven - I agree the cbd oil effect on my brain opens alternative pathways and access to structures which don't require math or "memory".

the book A Language Older Than Words is story of a man who used to experience the stars speaking comfort to him as an abused child and how he never told anyone because he always thought these experiences were chemical imbalance or imagination. After wolves started dining on his chickens he didn't want to kill them so he held eye contact with a wolf and the wolf stared back and he felt an understanding. The wolves never bothered his chickens again. He thought he was nuts, a coincidence and yet...

The rest of the book I haven't been able to even skim because what animals are saying to us was too painful to read. But his point was the more we separate ourselves from working in the earth, from feeling our feet on the planet, to exit the myth of humans as not really belonging requires us to learn to listen to what the mother earth says to us.

we are taught not to say anything about these experiences, that the other dimensions are imagination or mental illness when in fact most people have these experiences.

*****

Habib - my care partner - understands this. The Kush strains of cannabis are favored for communicating with our own locked hearts and with the natural world. I had lifetime of pain removed one day with a shower of understanding about my mother's inability to show love or concern for me. Peace descended on me and healed that toxic burden in minutes. Cannabis has been a medicine for 1000s of year, he have receptors in our cells (the endo-cannabinoid system). It is incredibly safe and I am so lucky to have discovered it as a medicine and to not be afraid or ashamed of the psycho active properties anymore.

Alzheimer "patients" benefit from being in nature like drinking tonic.  My dad liked to throw bread to pelicans, he would sit on back porch and look at a pond watching birds for hours while petting my dog. He was content, my Mother thought he was empty. He and I always loved heading to woods where he worked in a logging camp as a child, it felt like being washed clean inside. We would be quiet there, respectful.

***

Before I was diagnosed I was told I was bi-polar and met local psychiatrist once a month for medication management and his assessment.  When I met with my mother's 95 year old friend who had Alzheimer's and was in a nursing home, I excitedly told him how she talked with me that day (had not spoken in years) and that I saw a golden aura around her head. Her husband had died a few days before and I was on my way to his funeral. I felt I had witnessed something other worldly. It felt like a blessing. She died in her sleep that night. His response, "Whoa. Don't tell that to anyone! Let's check your meds." 

When I was diagnosed as NOT bi-polar but Alzheimer's he refused to speak to me in person. I was removed from the bad meds he had prescribed and left to detox from them on my own. My husband at the time refused me comfort. I would go into the mental health clinic and sit in front of a TV and the psychiatrist would watch me sobbing and shaking on camera, silent, as I suffered getting off his toxic medicines with sweats, rages, shaking and the permanent tongue movement disorder. I would beg him for help and he would just stare. The case worker tried to have me moved into a disabled person home...4 weeks of this and then I was discharged. Looking back, he was afraid I would sue them.

The neurologist I met was from India and LOVED working with people with dementia. He was intuitive, gentle, interested. He was fired 2 months later as he was 70 and they wanted new younger people. I met his replacement, once, he had no compassion, zero interest so I quit and went rogue.

***

as a child I witnessed a car crash, the man drove into a light post across the highway and his car door swung open. I saw a dove come down and take a light from his chest as he died. We were visiting my mother's family in Arizona and I remember them staring at me silently when I told them what I saw.

Alzheimer's has increased this feeling of belonging on the earth. I am not sure where our consciousness exists but humans have communicated with the gods through plants for a long time. I feel like my brain is sloughing off the parts that block our connection to the natural world.

I don't care if it is true, I would much rather be having this ride than what I had before.  

So the medicine of nature, to feed birds or fish, repot a plant, music, poetry - use the gut and heart brains. Explore your dreams, and as we said in my church "seek peace and pursue it".

The body doesn't lie. Do what makes you feel calm, safe, connected. This is the treatment for dementia, to be allowed to experience it in a safe welcome place is heaven.

love and courage

You are an older soul than I am, Alz, and I'm a pretty old soul.  You have a very well established connection with the right side of your brain, which is in charge of intuition and creativity.  Sometimes, it takes substances to make the left, logical side to shut the heck up so you can listen.

About the diagnosis of being bi-polar, we have a family friend who clearly has some cognitive and behavioral issues.  He has been diagnosed bi-polar, but much to the frustration of his roommate/caregiver, he will not take them.  It seems more like a form of dementia to me.  Chief symptom is hoarding to the point of threatened eviction from his condo and the involvement of APS.  His memory is still flawless -- he can remember the birthdays and addresses of childhood friends -- so a doctor might tend to misdiagnose.  I'm concerned, to say the least.

What quack made you go cold turkey off psychoactive meds?  Doctors are supposed to guide us in the safe use of anything they prescribe us.

My home state is still in the Dark Ages when it comes to medical marijuana, and even if it were not, the federal government still has it at Schedule I, so there is a sword of Damocles hanging over the heads of even legal users according to their states.  I currently take the relatively ineffective 3% cbd oil, but even that can lead to a positive pee test depending on the batch.  Not that I have a gun or a gun license I fear losing, but it all makes no sense.