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Mgsr04
Posted: Friday, October 23, 2020 3:59 PM
Joined: 11/2/2014
Posts: 85


My dear wife Gretchen passed away at home last Saturday night, just before midnight. After 11 years of declines and plateaus, things just turned quickly. She lived for 10 full days without food or water, which I’m told is unusual. Midway through the process, I leaned over her to check something. She reached up, put her arm around me and patted my back, smiled, and kissed me. It was the last moment of recognition that she gave me before finishing her transition from this world into the next.

On the last day, her apnea and gasping for breath was agonizing to watch but Hospice advised that it was the body shutting down and not a sign of distress for her. We couldn’t do more than just try to keep her comfortable.

The people from Hospice were amazing, as were our kids and grandkids. I don’t know what I would have done without their support. Adult stepdaughter and stepson were here for most of the final week, as was my sister and her husband from out of state. This site has also been a tremendous resource for me throughout the years. I’ve gotten much more out of it than I’ve contributed. I feel like we are all comrades here.

God bless you all.

Mark

 


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Mgsr04
Posted: Friday, October 23, 2020 4:04 PM
Joined: 11/2/2014
Posts: 85


I attempted to add a picture but either I am technically challenged or this site is.
Ed1937
Posted: Friday, October 23, 2020 4:26 PM
Joined: 4/2/2018
Posts: 3446


Mgsr04 wrote:

She reached up, put her arm around me and patted my back, smiled, and kissed me. It was the last moment of recognition that she gave me before finishing her transition from this world into the next.

That was a gift you will never forget. I'm sorry for your loss.

 

 


Lorita
Posted: Friday, October 23, 2020 4:29 PM
Joined: 12/18/2011
Posts: 12297


Mark, I'm so sorry for your loss.  It sounds like you all had a happy marriage.  How wonderful to have had that sweet moment of love and recognition.  Hopefully, it will help you to know your wife is now whole and well again and free of dementia.

Remember the wonderful years you had together - memories are forever.


Stuck in the middle
Posted: Friday, October 23, 2020 4:32 PM
Joined: 6/4/2017
Posts: 873


Sorry for your loss, Mark.
Doityourselfer
Posted: Friday, October 23, 2020 4:36 PM
Joined: 9/5/2017
Posts: 700


I'm sorry for your loss.
LadyTexan
Posted: Friday, October 23, 2020 4:43 PM
Joined: 12/21/2018
Posts: 676


Dear Mark.

I am sincerely sorry for your loss. 

What a special gift for you to receive the smile, kiss and recognition.

May God comfort you and bring you peace. Please take care of you.

with sympathy,

-LT


JoseyWales
Posted: Friday, October 23, 2020 5:00 PM
Joined: 5/22/2016
Posts: 300


Mark, I am so sorry for your loss. What a blessing that hug and kiss were.
Joe C.
Posted: Friday, October 23, 2020 5:03 PM
Joined: 10/13/2019
Posts: 411


My condolences on your loss. May you find some peace and strength in the days ahead.
ChrisBme
Posted: Friday, October 23, 2020 5:47 PM
Joined: 2/1/2018
Posts: 87


So sorry for your loss Mgsr04! Our deepest condolences!

 


David J
Posted: Friday, October 23, 2020 7:11 PM
Joined: 2/15/2020
Posts: 125


Mark,

So sorry for your loss. I hope you find solace in the good memories.  

Dave


Bevy
Posted: Friday, October 23, 2020 9:21 PM
Joined: 3/9/2012
Posts: 613


Sorry for the loss of your beloved spouse. Sending prayers for peace and comfort to you.
Jo C.
Posted: Saturday, October 24, 2020 12:33 AM
Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 11338


Dear Mark, my heart goes out to you and I extend my condolences to you and your family on the death of your dear wife; yours was indeed a love story.  Thank you for sharing that tender, wonderful moment of love where you were recognized and gifted with her loving kiss; beautiful!

When you have time, and if you feel up to it, let us know how you are; we care.

Warmest thoughts are being sent your way,

J.


Jeff86
Posted: Saturday, October 24, 2020 12:36 AM
Joined: 10/24/2019
Posts: 310


Sincerest condolences on your wife’s passing.  So glad you had the special moment of affection and remembrance.  May your DW’s memory be a blessing.
Sayra
Posted: Saturday, October 24, 2020 5:11 AM
Joined: 8/10/2016
Posts: 2453


Sorry for your loss.  You have a memory to cherish.
Seasons In The Sun
Posted: Saturday, October 24, 2020 7:33 AM
Joined: 5/21/2018
Posts: 247


So sorry for your loss.
Ricki07
Posted: Saturday, October 24, 2020 9:46 AM
Joined: 2/4/2017
Posts: 524


Mark, I'm so very sorry for your loss.

Sending love, hugs and prayers,


Ricki


abc123
Posted: Saturday, October 24, 2020 1:29 PM
Joined: 6/12/2016
Posts: 1174


Mark, please accept my condolences on the loss of your beautiful Gretchen. You will always cherish her goodbye kiss. She must have been an extraordinary woman. You and your family are in my heart.
Bholmes
Posted: Sunday, October 25, 2020 10:11 PM
Joined: 2/24/2020
Posts: 136


Mark,

So sorry for your loss, but she is done with this terrible disease.

I lost my dear DW last week after almost 7 years of this terrible disease. She was diagnosed at 59. My heart feels your pain right now. I go between- I am so glad she no longer has this terrible disease and then the next moment, I have agonizing hurt that she is gone.

I also was lucky enough to have the angels of hospice help me as she transitioned to the next world. My wife’s sister flew across the country and got a quick COVID test which was negative and saw her for several hours before she past that evening. My DW was only on hospice for 6 days and had labored breathing that night. I had her at home, she was not in pain, and I held her hand and she was gone. I was blessed as I know others have longer and harder journeys.

I have been home with her for almost 5 years as well. As I continued to work from home and it is a lonely house as we had no children.

Take care of yourself. Caregiving was my life for so long, I know not what to do.

Oh I also tried to post an image of my dear DW during better days and it disappeared from my post form Friday.


LUBY2883
Posted: Monday, October 26, 2020 12:34 AM
Joined: 8/2/2018
Posts: 6


I am experiencing the same gems of love from my lovely wife. She would wake up and the first thing I got was a big smile and "There's my man. I love you." Then kiss me! This stopped this week. She is sleeping more from a restful night on through the day. Fortunately I can wake her long enough for water and maybe a couple bites of yogurt or drink of protein drink, Ensure.

Now your lovely mate is resting without the indignity of Alzheimer's disease. A loss, yes, in this world, but a gain in her new world. I find joy there for her. No more suffering. After 58 years, you bet, I will miss my beautiful wife. She is the best for coming into my life. She helped me beat a lot of thigs in my life and made me stronger because of her strength. I could never be more grateful for anyone who helped make wonderful homes wherever we were with nothing but hard work. She gave me a daughter and three sons who became responsible and hard working successful people. Her work ethic were gifts to her family. 

We've been down many times but we always managed to crawl back. She was our leader. I will miss her by my side but she gave me many beautiful memories to go on. Her spirit and drive will always be a part of me. Thank you my lovely Kendra Arlene..

Lou.