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Iris L.
Posted: Sunday, December 6, 2020 5:57 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 18356

I aim to live my life within a stress-free bubble, as much as I can.  At times I will ask someone not to tell me any stories about children or animals in peril, because I will develop anxieties in these areas.  Unfortunately, I didn't ask my cousin today, because she proceeded to tell me a detailed story about a house fire her family had in 1970, in which their dog was killed.  I feel like I can't take any more conversation for a long time.  I feel very anxious now.  


Posted: Monday, December 7, 2020 9:59 AM
Joined: 10/24/2018
Posts: 1575

((((Iris)))) hugs, what an awful feeling. I am sometimes an anxiety hot mess myself, so I know a little of what you are feeling. Do you have any specific things you do to maintain calm and peace in your heart? 

I have some random good news in my family to tell for a moment's cheer-- we are, after 6.5 years, finally selling a house we moved away from in 2014! It's very exciting to see that the market in that coastal Virginia city has picked up. We had a dozen showings and four offers in two days! And to make things even better, the purchaser turns out to be a native of that city who's delighted to be returning. All our old neighbors will be likewise delighted that a native has bought the house. 

Iris, I think of you and all of your wise writings often-- I hope you will find a calm place very soon. 

Posted: Monday, December 7, 2020 1:34 PM
Joined: 11/22/2019
Posts: 399

I understand this deeply, Iris.

Once an image of sadness is in my mind from TV, another person or a book, it affects me.

One thing that helps me is to rewrite the story in my mind.  

I imagine going back in time and step by step, rescuing whatever or whomever has been harmed.  Or I rewrite the movie script and run the improved version in my head.

I have even imagined one of my dogs going into a fictional situation that was painful for me, and rescuing another dog.

This technique reduces the harm such images have on me.

Like you, I prefer that people keep such stories to themselves.  I too encourage people around me to share such information with people who are not as directly affected as I am.

I never entirely forget the harmful version, but it is mitigated by the multiple endings scenario.

Disturbing images eat my energy and hope.  Merely blocking them doesn't work for me.

Interesting what my mind chooses to hang on to. 

I hope the images dissipate from your mind ASAP.