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First visit with Mom at her new home.
dms
Posted: Friday, January 13, 2012 4:57 AM
Joined: 12/24/2011
Posts: 40


This weekend will be my first visit with Mom at her new home... we placed her on the 3rd in a really good dementia unit.  I miss her very much she has lived with us for the last 6 years and its been an adjustment for all of us.... I can't wait to see her but I am a little nervous on how she will react to seeing me.  

 

Is she says she wants to go home my answer will be the Dr wants you to be here for therapy and I hope it works becasue when we placed her she didn't believe us.... So far she has been very cooperative and pleasent and she has really gotten into all the activities and enjoying the other ladies.... I am so happy for that because we just could not keep her busy enough here at home and her care was very demanding of all of our time... I was just at the burnout stage and it was time....

 

I know I am going to shower her will all the love and happiness I can muster up because I do lover her so and want the best for her.... I am very happy with this place that my Sister has picked and knows all about and is very envolved with her care.

 

say a prayer for strength for me as I visit her for the first time

thanks dms


Marjk
Posted: Friday, January 13, 2012 5:58 AM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 799


Good luck.  You will be fine!!!!!!!!!  The anxiety is usually much worse.

 

I used the doctor story with my mother as well.  Just remember that you can't find the doctor "today" to ask so you will "come back later" to find the doctor.

 

Your Mom might act out, they often do for us.  Just remember that she has gotten into all the activities.  They lie like children to us, tell us how horrible it is.  We know the truth because we call and find out the truth!

 

Take a deep breath.  Everything will be just fine.

 

I often think WE miss them more than they miss us.


Mom's Baby
Posted: Friday, January 13, 2012 8:56 AM
Joined: 12/19/2011
Posts: 1146


dms, sending up a prayer for you today! I have a feeling it's going to go just fine. Remember how scared I was to visit my mom the very next day after she was placed and was SO upset? When I saw her that next day, it was like it didn't even happen. She did ask me about going home but there was an activity starting, so I was able to hustle over to it with her and she lost that train of thought. That was about 3 days after she was placed....since then she has not mentioned home again and seems to appreciate the great care she's getting from the staff.

 

Let us know how it goes, I will be anxious to hear!


Cheryle Gardiner
Posted: Friday, January 13, 2012 10:03 AM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 529


I will be praying for you, as well. I'm sure you'll be fine, but I understand your apprehension. 

If she does tell you she wants to come "home," just remind yourself of all the reasons she's there and stay strong. It sounds as if she's adjusting fine, but like Marj said, she may tell you all kinds of things!

Let us know how things go!
rose_ro
Posted: Saturday, January 14, 2012 1:41 AM
Joined: 12/21/2011
Posts: 2431


She will say she wants to go home...I have wondered how many people DON"t say that!

 

She will be so happy to see you, and there will be a bond because of all the years you cared for her.

 

You're still caring for her,  and she knows it.

 

I always put this little ''surprised'' look on, like - MOM!  you can't come home, they're helping you here! 

 

i also told her today there'd be a lot of people who would miss her!  which is true


dms
Posted: Saturday, January 14, 2012 6:10 AM
Joined: 12/24/2011
Posts: 40


Oh Boy,, here I go,, leaving soon for my visit with Mom for the first time since her placement,,,, I will let you know how it goes when I get back home sunday night...thanks for all your support,,,,, I am like a kid in a candy shop on christmas,, I just can't wait to put my arms around her and love her up,, I packed all kinds of goodies for her to have and I am taking her to the cafeteria for lunch

 

see you all sunday

dme


rose_ro
Posted: Saturday, January 14, 2012 10:02 AM
Joined: 12/21/2011
Posts: 2431


  Have fun...have you ''planned'' how you'll leave?  That's something that I worried about, and we're so close anyway.

 

it was easier than I thought, though,


dms
Posted: Sunday, January 15, 2012 5:01 PM
Joined: 12/24/2011
Posts: 40


Well I am back from my first visit with Mom and it was just wonderful... My Mom is happy and very well taken care of and very very busy,,,, It was just a delite to spend saturday and sunday with her,, she was happy i was there but was more interested in what was going on out in the activity area... go figuire...... I am so very happy  for her and for us. I felt so at ease and had a very relaxing ride home...

 

I told her thru the visit that we loved her and that we would always take care of her no matter where she was,, she said I know and I love you too... when I was leaving I gave her a piece of choclate,, kissed and hugged her and told her I had to go to work and that I would be back very very soon.... my Mom just said ok good and went back to her singalong...she was a hard worker all her life and understands about having to work for a living......Mom sits with the same 4 ladies for everything,, she has girlfriends to be with that are her one age.... how wonderful

 

what a relief,, I thanked all the stafff as I left for taking such good care of my precious little gem of a Mother and they said what a little sweetie she is.. I am not expecting every viist to go so smooth but it's a good start

thank you all for your support

dms,

 

 


EFT
Posted: Sunday, January 15, 2012 8:34 PM
Joined: 12/16/2011
Posts: 393


So thrilled that your visit was so nice and your mom is happy!
Mom's Baby
Posted: Sunday, January 15, 2012 9:10 PM
Joined: 12/19/2011
Posts: 1146


That is wonderful, Danielle!! I'm so glad everything went well! It sounds like your mom is adjusting so well. What a great visit!
Cheryle Gardiner
Posted: Monday, January 16, 2012 1:34 AM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 529


What wonderful news! Thank you so much for letting us know. I can tell what a relief it was for you, and I'm so glad you found things going so well.
Jim Broede
Posted: Monday, January 16, 2012 1:59 AM
Joined: 12/22/2011
Posts: 5462


Relax. It's gonna work. Already off to a good start. Just keep exuding good vibes. Day in and day out. You have the right mental attitude. Positive. Keep it. Keep it. Keep it. --Jim