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Feeling all alone in this
honeypip1
Posted: Friday, January 27, 2012 6:29 AM
Joined: 1/22/2012
Posts: 7


 Hello All.
I'm new to the site and have been only reading until today. Up to last week my mother ( 93 yrs old) was the sweetest person ever, then she developed a boil. She became so agitated and abusive toward me. I got an emergency appointment with her primary care physician because I thought it might be Mursa. He put her on a strong antibiotic and made an appointment with an OB/Gyn saying that he "normally doesn't get into that kind of stuff",the boil was on he vagina. The appointment is not till next week so I took her back yesterday because she is refusing food(went from 120 lbs down to 111 lbs in a few days and is hallucinating) the antibiotic didn't seem to do much good. I told him that I think she has a UTI, he ordered a urine, blood work and another 30 day round of Bactrim and Risperdal at night because she has been up for 24 hours straight.

She is trying to chase the people that she is seeing out of her house and is very mad at me because I don't see them too. She came at me with a knife saying she could kill me for not seeing them. All sharp objects were promptly locked up after that so she started coming at me with cans of food. She is also refusing to shower. All of this is extremely out of character for my mom, she hardly walked around the house without help, ate three small meals daily along with Boost and a light snack three times a day. The doctor told me that it is now time for Hospice because she is in the last stage and that she can go today, next week or six months from now. From what I read the Risperdal will speed up this process and I told him that I'm not OK with giving it to her. He assured me that the dose is so small that it will only make her sleep ay night and prevent her from leaving or hurting herself at night when she usually walks around the house. I'm so confused, maybe because I haven't slept much either the past few days. Has anyone experienced this and if anyone has any insight or suggestions it would be greatly appreciated because I don't have much family support, the kind of sticks their heads in the sand or pretends like it's not happening because when they do decide to visit she is so happy to see them. I hope this will post, and that someone will reply.


Angela65
Posted: Friday, January 27, 2012 7:50 AM
Joined: 12/20/2011
Posts: 276


WELCOME Honeypip, Glad you got on board my mom is also on risperdal low dose in afternoon to helpp with sundowning, i hadnt heard that it sppeds up the effect of this disease but am gonna check into it, because that scares me. With your mom she is obviously in pain a boil (OUCH) that is painful and will definately increase confusion , aggression, and i would bet she probably has a UTI. she doesnt feel well and that plays a huge role in behavior as well as it effects her appetite. Someone with more info will be on board later with better advice, I would try to get her to take as many fluids as possible and hopefully the antibiotics will kick in and she will start feeling some relief, I wish you and your mom the best. And your not alone you will find so much support here the people on here are great and very helpful. GOOD LUCK
Sophie
Posted: Friday, January 27, 2012 8:15 AM
Joined: 1/25/2012
Posts: 19


Good morning Honeypip,

I don't know about this medication but certainly understand your concern. I do know if people with AD are in any sort of pain or discomfort and they can not longer tell you what is wrong, they often will behave as you describe.  I have observed my dear mother do this fairly often. Now she is so advanced into the disease the only way we can tell she is suffering is when she gets more dazed and sleeps more. We have to try to figure it out. But not so long ago when we saw any sort of anger we  were usually able to find a cause--sometimes its just needing to go to the bathroom. You mom is certainly in some pain and could explain all this new behavior you are seeing---especially since it came on so suddenly. To bad she has to wait so long for appt. about the boil.

Can anyone come in and be with her while you get some sleep? For me there just wasn't anyone so we had to pay for this help but if you can afford it its worth it.

Be careful when she is displaying anger. It is surprising how strong elderly people with AD can be when upset.

I wanted you to know I am thinking of you. Hope she feels better soon and you both get some rest.     Sophie 


KML
Posted: Friday, January 27, 2012 10:41 AM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 2105


Honeypip:

 

I would think that there is a very stong connection between the change in your mom's behavior and the problems she is having with the boil.  I don't quite understand the doctor saying she's in the last stages.  I would push very hard to get that OB/GYN appointment now or a trip to the ER to address it. 

 

Anytime, a person with dementia has an infection, that can cause such behavioral changes you wouldn't imagine.

 

If she is treated for that boil and the infection clears up, you just may see her returning to the point she was before this started.

 

Sometimes, we have to very pushy with doctors and insist something be looked at now.


Stephanie Z
Posted: Friday, January 27, 2012 11:11 AM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 4219


Hi Honey, Definitely take her to the ER. It CANNOT wait until next week. That's ridiculous. She could become septic from an infection. Obviously the antibiotic she is taken isn't doing the job. It may need to be lanced and a culture needs to be done. She should also be getting sitz baths (sitting in warm water) She will also probably resist being examined or treatment and in an ER they can give her IV ativan if she needs it. Why should she sit around in pain and risk an infection? Plus she is losing weight!!! These doctors are not being responsive to her needs.

Stephanie (a nurse)


skericheri
Posted: Friday, January 27, 2012 12:08 PM
Joined: 12/10/2011
Posts: 287


Honeypip---Welcome to the message boards.  I'm sorry that your mother's condition has reduced you to living under siege.  You're probably right about her having a UTI.  With that and the pain from her boil, no wonder she is climbing the walls.

 

I know that it is hard to contemplate the death of a parent...but...Consider taking her doctor up on his suggestion about hospice.  If they come on-board some of the pressure will be taken off you.

 

 
 


JAB
Posted: Friday, January 27, 2012 3:46 PM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 740


Hi, honeypip1, welcome to the forum.  Listen to KML and Stephanie.  Many infections, not just UTIs, can cause all sorts of behavioral problems.  And of course, the pain from that boil would cause behavioral problems in just about anyone!

 

Plus, it sounds as if the antibiotic is causing delirium (the hallucinations, for example), which is not unusual in the elderly and/or dementia patients.

 

Take the poor woman to ER.  Making her wait is ridiculous at best, and probably very dangerous.

 

And if it were me, I'd be looking for a new PCP.  This one doesn't seem to know much about dementia patients.


honeypip1
Posted: Friday, January 27, 2012 5:18 PM
Joined: 1/22/2012
Posts: 7


Angeela,

Thank you so much for your kind words and advice, I am insisting that she drinks cranberry juice and water as often as possible without making her even more angry, I hope this helps.


honeypip1
Posted: Friday, January 27, 2012 5:23 PM
Joined: 1/22/2012
Posts: 7


 Sophie,

I did insist on a earlier appointment, she was seen today by a very kind OB/GYN. He does not feel as if my mom is in the last stages, just a bad infection going on. I feel hopeful and told him that I just don't want her to suffer. He tried to lance the boil but it was too painful for her. He is going to try giving her a mild seditive at her next appointment.


honeypip1
Posted: Friday, January 27, 2012 5:25 PM
Joined: 1/22/2012
Posts: 7


KML,

pushy was just whay I was today and I did get her seen by a very Kind OB/GYN. He waas unable to lance it but did set up a follow up visit too try giving her a mild seditive before the proceedure.


honeypip1
Posted: Friday, January 27, 2012 5:31 PM
Joined: 1/22/2012
Posts: 7


Stephanie,

Thank you for your advice, she was treated today. The doctor couldn't lance it but did clean it, gave a stronger antibiotic and did a culture to find out if it is MURSA or even a cancerous lesion. He told me to apply warm compresses to it ro give her some relief also. I am agressivly working on bringing her weight back up but she has started chocking-a new symptom.


honeypip1
Posted: Friday, January 27, 2012 5:33 PM
Joined: 1/22/2012
Posts: 7


 skericheri,

I did accept the offer from Hospice, they are coming out to talk with me on Saturday. Thank you for the advice.


honeypip1
Posted: Friday, January 27, 2012 5:38 PM
Joined: 1/22/2012
Posts: 7


JAB,

Thank you for your words and advice, I am looking into a new doctor for my mother because I just don't feel like her doctor is interested in keeping her alive. He came out and said, "No sense trying to fix what is broken when you know it is beyond repair. She has a fatal disease and this is the end/last stage. She will probably aspirate on food and die. I't might be tonight next week or six months from now, either way it is the end". I cried a lot later on trying to accept this.


KML
Posted: Friday, January 27, 2012 6:22 PM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 2105


Dear Honeypip:

 

I'm glad you were able to get your mom into be seen by another doctor today.

 

As for that other doctor, I'm envisioning plucking his hairs out one by one, I'm not feeling very charitable today towards ignorant people.  That is an awful thing for him to say.  What a terrible bedside manner he has.  I'm glad you will be looking for another doctor.

 

I hope your dear mom has some relief from her pain soon.  Very good that hospice will be coming to see you.

 

You did good in getting your mom help right away.


JAB
Posted: Friday, January 27, 2012 6:53 PM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 740


OMG.  I hope the @#$%! PCP breaks out in boils all over.  What a purely terrible thing to say to you!  There is simply no excuse.  None.

 

The best place to look for a doctor who is well-qualified to work with dementia patients is often a so-called memory disorder center. There's a partial list at:
http://www.alzcompend.info/?p=14



DagNabIt
Posted: Friday, January 27, 2012 7:05 PM
Joined: 1/3/2012
Posts: 44


I think in emergencies an ER visit is definately a good idea.  But be careful.  I didn't realize that I had  a P.O.A for my mother, and when I did the ER visit, I asked them if they could put her in a nursing home temporarily, they put her in a psych hospital, because I didn't think I could sign her in, and that was the only bed available.   Now that I am looking for a permanent home, everyone is questioning why she is a psyche hospital.  At the time I couldn't think rationally because my father was in another hospital and I just needed to keep her safe somewhere.

I know how you feel about her deterioration, too.  You kept her healthy, and her weight up, and now  you see her going downhill, it's difficult.  You also have to remember that the drug regime she is on now, might have to be adjusted.

good luck.


Stephanie Z
Posted: Friday, January 27, 2012 9:57 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 4219


Hi Honey, If mom is having problems with choking, try giving her soft foods that she can easily swallow. Make sure all of her meat is ground or cut into very small pieces. For desert try puddings or ice cream. If she still seems to have a choking problem she may need a speech therapist to evaluate her swallowing response. In the later stages of dementia swallowing can be a major problem. Some people need thickeners to be put into their fluids and all of their food needs to be pureed. For now, just watch her diet. If the problems continue, tell her physician and ask for the speech therapy consult.

Take care, stay in touch

Stephanie


baydey
Posted: Saturday, January 28, 2012 2:59 PM
Joined: 1/21/2012
Posts: 43


honeypip1, it is just heart breaking to hear how insensitive your PCP has been about this. I truly hope you mom will come through this and get back to her 'normal' self. I wish you the best.