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Skilled Nursing - looking for input
Janewb
Posted: Monday, April 9, 2012 2:10 PM
Joined: 2/3/2012
Posts: 8


 

So I’m looking for some input from other folks who are familiar with or have someone in a Skilled Nursing facility.  I’ll provide some background info and will try to summarize before getting to the main reason for my post.

 

We moved my Mom to a Skilled Nursing facility in November.  She is in mid to late stage of AD.  She and my Dad were living together in Assisted Living and he was caring for her with some assistance.  She became ill (kidney failure)and had a week long hospital stay in November right around the time we had decided it was best to move her to Skilled Nursing.  This came about as she could no longer walk and my Dad just couldn’t care for her any longer, even with the assistance provided.  Once discharged from the hospital, she went directly into skilled nursing.  This facility is part of a larger community, the same one where my Dad lives and on the same campus.   

 

Once she went into Skilled Nursing, there was not a bed available in the section of the Skilled Nursing facility that would be her permanent home, so she went into the Rehab section.  This part of the facility is definitely the nicest and the newest and she had a private room.  We understood that this was only temporary and that she would be moved eventually.  I think the care she got there was “good”.  There was a mixture of people – some there clearly for rehab after a joint replacement, etc.  But there were also some people like my Mom – admitted after a hospital stay or a fall and clearly not completely lucid.  She had what I would refer to as some bad days, when she seemed really spacey and some days when she wouldn’t know some members of the family.  Everyone there ate their meals in the same dining room.  She was able to feed herself most of the time.  They had activities (e.g. Bingo) during the day and when nothing was going on, they had everyone sit in the TV room.  At first, I was completely stressed out about it and had this “vision” (fantasy?), that people would be working with her one-on-one doing stimulating activities, etc.  Eventually, I realized it was OK there.  I went over there frequently at dinnertime.  She always shared a table with the same women.  I got to know the son of one of the women and it became a nice social time when I went.  After a few months, she seemed to be doing really good.   She was happy, alert, able to feed herself most of the time.  The staff was able to take her to the bathroom and get her up and dressed.   

 

So just when everything was going great, we got word that a bed became available in the section where she would stay.  Before I forget to mention it, the day before she was to move, her eyeglasses went missing and were never found.  The 1st couple of days in the new wing were OK.  She was really spacey and I attributed it to not having her glasses, which we replaced a few days later, and to the new environment.  The staff in this wing mentioned that they had a lot of trouble “transferring” her, for bathroom needs and getting her up and dressed, etc.  This wing has a mixture of residents.  The facility is associated with the Catholic church.  The wing my Mom is in is also home to many retired nuns, so we’re told it is really the best wing.  So there are some women who are able to pretty much take care of themselves in terms of daily living, but are provided spiritual care and meals, etc.  Then there are other women like my Mom.  They have two separate dining areas.  The one my Mom eats in is mostly for people who need assistance in eating and the other one where folks (like the nuns) can serve and feed themselves.  They also have activities and on that wing, if they are not doing an activity, they are sitting in the hallway by the nurses desk.  They being Mom and others like her.  Is that typical?

 

So to get to the point of my post:  Mom has declined a lot since the move into the new wing.  She is not eating well at all.  She is “parking” food in her mouth.  They have just changed her diet to “mechanical soft” and she is not feeding herself.  She is back to being spacey most of the time and not communicating verbally very well – such as words coming out wrong, etc.  Much more frequently than before.  And she seems sad.  I’m very concerned and am looking for some input as to whether it is progression of her disease or did the latest move impact her and she needs time to adjust, like she did when she moved in the first room at the facility.  I'm so afraid she will not 'bounce back' again and that we are not doing enough for her... 

 


MacyRose
Posted: Monday, April 9, 2012 2:41 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 3976


If I were in your position, I'd take my mom to a gerontologist immediately and see what he has to say.  It may be that your mom's disease has progressed or it may be that something entirely different is going on.  But this isn't something I'd fool around guessing at.  I would get her to a doctor who could evaluate her and tell me exactly what is going on and follow his advice.

 

 


Janewb
Posted: Monday, April 9, 2012 2:50 PM
Joined: 2/3/2012
Posts: 8


Thanks MacyRose for your reply.  Since the last move, the doctor has seen her, I forgot to mention that.  When she first moved and I noticed the change, they did run some tests based on her history.  They did some bloodwork to test her kidney function and anemia and tested for UTI - all were OK.
sarahb
Posted: Monday, April 9, 2012 3:29 PM
Joined: 3/8/2012
Posts: 122


Hello Jane -- A lot of times they will need an adjustment time/period.  How long has she been in this new wing?
Iris L.
Posted: Monday, April 9, 2012 3:35 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 16444


You need a geriatrician who can tell you if your Mom is progressing in her dementia.  The doctors you have are medically skilled and have told you she is physiologically OK.   

 

Most doctors don't speak about the progression of the disease process.  Perhaps they believe it will disturb the family.   

 

I personally have had only one geriatrician speak candidly with me.  Unfortuately, he left the medical center that he was in and I no longer have access to  him.  

 

Your Mom might need more time to adjust.  Or it might be a matter of her medications--I don't remember if she is on any.  You need a doctor who can tell you. 

 

You asked if there were more you could do.  What were you thinking of? 

 

Iris L. 


Stephanie Z
Posted: Monday, April 9, 2012 4:19 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 4218


Jane, Your profile is not filled out so I don't know how old mom is, what her exact diagnosis is, what meds she is on for dementia and what stage she is in. When you have some time (it's limited I'm sure) if you could fill it out it would help us tailor our suggestions more toward what your mom might be going through.

 

     You also have not mentioned how long mom has been on the new unit. It may take some time for her to adjust because she now has a new environment and new people to get used to. How long did it take to get used to the rehab wing when she went there? She is a little further in her dementia so it may take longer.

 

You have not talked about dementia care units or "memory care" so I'm not sure whether this facility meets that definition or mixes all the residents together. Both nursing homes and ALFs have these, but some do not. So thie issue is not so much whether she is in a nursing home or assisted living, but whether or not the facility is meeting her needs.

 

You should be sitting in on her care plans. Since her status has changed, the satff needs to do a new care plan ASAP. When they do, ask the following questions: Is the staff trained in dementia care? What activities do they do specific to people with dementia? How many is your mom attending? What do they do for residents who don't attend activities? Is a geriatric psychiatrist available to assess your mom for depression? What are they doing about her eating problems?

(Here's a good site explaining what should be done about it: http://alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=149

 

Hope some of this helps. Keep in touch and let us know how she is doing.

Stephanie

 

 

 

 


Janewb
Posted: Monday, April 9, 2012 4:39 PM
Joined: 2/3/2012
Posts: 8


Thanks everyone for your replies.  I'm new to this board so I apologize if I haven't provided enough information.  I updated my profile to include some additional information. 

 

I believe my Mom is in stage 5/6.

 

She was in her former unit at the facility for about 3 1/2 months.  She has been in the new unit for under 1 month.

 

She is on medications - I don't know off the top of my head what they are.

 

She has anemia, she gets Iron and a nutritional supplement.

 

Just a couple of days ago, a speech pathologist met with us.  She recommended that her diet be changed.  They are monitoring her now to see if it improves. 

 

The facility she is in has multiple areas.  The area she is in has a mix of residents - some with and without dementia.

 

I have not reviewed the Care Plan.  However, I know they have added some items - mainly as I've requested they do certain things.  For example, I noticed her hair had not been washed.  They mentioned they had asked her if she wanted her hair washed.  I thought that was strange.  But I did request that they wash her hair when she is given a shower.  I thought it strange that they ask her things such as does she want to wash her hair or does she want to play bingo.  As much as I'd like her to be able to make decisions for herself, I do not feel she is able to and I think she just tries to give an answer. 

 

I don't think they have activities specifically for dementia patients, but I will ask about it. 

 

I have to say I have been surprised by a lot of this - that I need to be so involved.  Not that I mind doing it, but I feel a need to stay on top of things daily, otherwise I don't know what is going on with her unless I ask. 

 

 


jfkoc
Posted: Monday, April 9, 2012 6:12 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 18481


Another welcome!!!
Chris Marie
Posted: Monday, April 9, 2012 7:26 PM
Joined: 4/9/2012
Posts: 8


Having them sit by the nurses station is a very common practice.  I interned at a facility that did that, and decided only my x husband was fit for that.

My mother is in a very nice facility, her own room, lots of activities, and the staff is amazing.

BUT there are always BUTS:

She contracted C-Diff, very common with elderly in homes.  They had to quarantine her in her room for over a week.  They like most facilities did not have the staff for someone to stay in her room with her.  They would check on her every 30 min to 2 hrs.  I was not ok with this, so the first time, I stayed with her from 8am to 8pm, put her to bed and left.  But the second time, my family insisted it was to hard on me, and forbade it.

I hated her being in her room alone, and didn't feel she wasn't safe.  She pooped on her chairs, and the floor, and the closet, and I don't know if we'll ever get rid of the C-Diff.

I am at the facility as often as possible, not many of the activities are ALZ adaptable (as they advertised).  Most of them wander the hall, or sleep.  I encourage them often to turn on the TV to give them something to stare at, but it is never on when I go there.

I have written down my requests for my mother's hygiene, such as, she likes a little makeup on, it makes her feel better.  And she needs to use the Biotene Mouthwash for her dry mouth.  Most requests are met as far as I know.

I recently left her prescription glasses with her at the care center after reading an email from www.caring.com and it stated one of the comfort things for ALZ patients was having their glasses.  BUT they are now lost. she had already lost 3 pair before moving in, that were never found.

I am a licensed CNA and have applied and kidded about their hiring me several times.  I never get any reply.

The staff is VERY young, and very underpaid I'm sure.

My family is very comfortable with her living arrangements, because the facility is so nice.  AND they aren't caregiver's like me, and don't expect the best.

I try to visit often as I said, and bring wooden puzzles, or stuffed animals, or my dog for entertainment...and when I leave I insist they put on a movie.  Something I would have never thought I would do.  I always take her for a walk to, even if it's just to the other side of the building and back.

Most people go downhill very fast when they are put in a facility, I think that is very normal.  It is very unfortunate but normal.

It is easy to but the blame on the facility or the workers, but accepting that she has ALZ and doesn't know who she is, where she is, or Why she is, is not a fun life to live.  We as a family have chosen only Comfort Care procedures, as to not prolong the horrible disease any further.  There are some family members that are not happy with this.

Just do the best you can do, and make as many suggestions as you can to the staff.

And possible look around for other facilities.  In my experience (10 years) there aren't alot of good ones


Still Waters
Posted: Monday, April 9, 2012 7:53 PM
Joined: 2/6/2012
Posts: 1092


with every change in living space, atmosphere, even visits to the ER, have set my mom back.  sorry to say but that has been my personal experience. not bounced back. sucks. however i make it my business to spend as much time with her as i can, to help her adatpt as much as i can. its all you can do. she will improve (but not back to the way it was) if you are diligent.
Stephanie Z
Posted: Monday, April 9, 2012 8:02 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 4218


Chris, I don't know what part of the country you are in, but Virginia, for one, has quite a few good facilities and some fantastic group homes. As far as wandering goes, it's part of dementia and many residents will do this no matter what other activities are available. 

     It's also been my experience that many residents prefer to hang around the nurses station because they feel more comfortable. Can't tell if this is a "feels safer" issue or just needing to be around people.

 

     I have over 20 years experience as an RN on dementia units both developing them and direct patient care. I was also a DON for 5 years and did training for my local AD chapter. My experience was that a well run dementia unit whether in AL or SNF can help the person with dementia to have a comfortable life despite their decline. Training makes a big difference. Some facilities will invest in a well trained staff and some will not so I think when placement is an issue families need to look at a lot of things including how much training the staff receives. One hour two or three times a year is not enough.

 

     I had the TVs unplugged on my dementia units because I found that the staff watched it more than the residents OR there were frightening things happening on the news and people with AD did not understand it. They only watched TV if it was a specific program selected by the activities person or they watched videos or selected CDs.

 

I think all of the caregivers on the forum are fairly involved in their LO care even when they are in a facility. Your mom is so lucky you have had experience and can watch over her.

 

Take care

Stephanie


Iris L.
Posted: Monday, April 9, 2012 10:26 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 16444


Chris Marie wrote:

Just do the best you can do, and make as many suggestions as you can to the staff.

And possible look around for other facilities.  In my experience (10 years) there aren't alot of good ones 

 

 

 

 

  I've been very impressed with how diligent our members are in seeking out high quality care facilities for their ADLOs.   

 

I think facilities overall will improve as more demands are made.   

 

We don't have to accept mediocre care. 

 

Iris L. 


bela
Posted: Tuesday, April 10, 2012 3:48 AM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 4110


Why do alz patients decline after being placed as someone mentioned?  

 


dj okay
Posted: Tuesday, April 10, 2012 3:09 PM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 1840


Jane,

 

I'll answer you here since it appears you posted this topic after replying on an older thread.

 

First let me say, welcome to our forum!  I'm sorry for the situation with your parents, but I'm really glad you found us.

 

My mom has been in a nursing home for a little over 3 years.  She actually thrived there when she first was placed, mostly because her physical condition had deteriorated in assisted living because of the lack of nursing care and attention and not seeing her doctor regularly enough (once a month wasn't enough for her because of some physical issues).  The activities program at the NH she is in is excellent and she participated in almost everything. 

.

Her NH has an excellent rating and their staff have mostly been there many years.  This speaks volumes for the quality of care.

 

All that said, I believe that the patients whose families are the most involved still receive the best care.  I have worked hard to maintain a relationship with as many of the staff as I can, including housekeeping, laundry, and maintenance.  If you approach your advocacy as a team program, you should be successful in even a mediocre facility.  I do not go every day, I could not handle it physically or emotionally, and I never wanted my mother to depend on my being there every day.  I need to maintain some semblance of a normal life outside of my mother (tough to do but it is possible).

 

When changes are made in Mom's care or her condition, I try to go every day until I see that she has settled into a 'new' routine and that the staff has it under control.  I don't assume that Mom will be settled unless I do that.  After all, I know her better than anyone and I feel that I am best suited to inform them of her needs in certain areas.

 

Is it time-consuming, exhausting, and emotionally draining?  Absolutely.  Is it worthwhile?  Absolutely.  I wouldn't have it any other way.


I really do feel that she is getting the best care possible, even better than I could give her at home.

 

The residents in Mom's home aren't parked in front of the nurse's station unless there is a specific need for them to be there.  Examples: One resident hated to be left alone and drew comfort from the presence of the nurse, whether that was at the station while she was doing paperwork or by the med-cart when she was passing meds.  One resident is an extreme wander risk and will get into other resident rooms if left to herself.  Some residents are extreme fall risks and must be watched constantly.  Some of these situations are temporary and are alleviated with behavior modification or meds.  Some are permanent as in the lady who hated to be left alone...she was rarely content to sit in her room or anywhere else and almost never attended activities.

 

My feeling is it shouldn't be standard practice for many residents for an extended period of time.


As far as the decline goes when a change has occurred...sometimes they can bounce back a little once they adjust (and this can takes weeks or even months), and sometimes the decline is permanent.

 

Mom was moved to a different room for 3 weeks earlier this year and she declined sharply.  She has regained maybe 25% of what she lost.  But she had been in a fairly steep decline before the move, so I can't pin all her decline on the move.

 

If your mom seems sad an awful lot, I would make sure she is evaluated for depression.  The social worker at the facility should be able to do that.  It's a good idea to establish a good rapport with the social worker anyway.  They can be a tremendous support for both of you.


Sorry so long, but I wanted to address all your concerns.


Again, welcome!!!

 


dj okay
Posted: Tuesday, April 10, 2012 3:13 PM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 1840


Bela,

 

As you can read in my previous post to Jane, not all residents decline after placement.  If the placement is appropriate to their needs and the care is good, they should actually do well after they adjust.  Now the adjustment period is a whole other story.  The decline that seems apparent during adjustment is sometimes recouped once they adjust.

 

In short, I think it depends if the facility is doing their job well or not.  I guess I should say "the team of the facility staff and the family advocate".

 

At least that's my opinion.


Janewb
Posted: Wednesday, April 11, 2012 2:33 PM
Joined: 2/3/2012
Posts: 8


Thanks again everyone for all of your input.  You have no idea how helpful it is and to read all the other posts.  Just knowing other people are going thru the exact same thing as we are somehow makes me feel better.

 

I've made a list of items to go over with the folks at the SNF - I won't do it all at once, but will prioritize it so I don't sound like pain in the neck. 

 

I was there last night and she was definitely better than she was on Monday.  She was more alert and was definitely "happy".  She has not cried the past few times I've been there.  When she does cry, it is usually centered around my dog, a toy poodle.  I bring him with me everytime I visit.  I think she sometimes thinks he's a baby.  She will sometimes tear up a little and say things like "I don't want him to go" and I'll ask "where is he going", and she'll say "he's going to go to school".  Or she may say "I don't know what I'm supposed to do", again related to caring for the dog/baby.  I found just reassuring her that she is doing great makes her feel better. 

 

One thing for sure - since I got the dog 4 years ago, she has always remembered his name Toby.  She loves that dog so much!  He is the only being that she has met since the disease progressed for whom she remembers their name.  Oh and he adores her too.  It does make it awkward when she remembers the dogs' name, but thinks my brother is my father. 

 

I've decided to go there each evening to have supper with her.  One of the items on my list to go over with the staff is that they allow her enough time to feed herself.  Before she moved into her new unit, I saw her feed herself.  She does need assistance, but eventually she will start eating including using her utensils.  When I was there last night, the aide came into the room 2 times to take the tray.  When she finally finished and I brought it out, I realized the cart had already left to go back to the kitchen and the aide had to deal with the tray.   My priority is to make sure that my mother eats a good dinner, even if it takes 1 hour.  Was I bad to do that?  Although the nurse thanked me later. 

 

Her roommate is going home today.  I adore her and I'm disappointed she is leaving.  She has been really good to my mother and fills me in on the goings on when I'm not there.  She is very quiet and gracious.  I bought cupcakes to take over so we can have a little party...


rose_ro
Posted: Wednesday, April 11, 2012 2:45 PM
Joined: 12/21/2011
Posts: 2431


Janewb wrote:

 

So I’m looking for some input from other folks who are familiar with or have someone in a Skilled Nursing facility.  I’ll provide some background info and will try to summarize before getting to the main reason for my post.

 

We moved my Mom to a Skilled Nursing facility in November.  She is in mid to late stage of AD.  She and my Dad were living together in Assisted Living and he was caring for her with some assistance.  She became ill (kidney failure)and had a week long hospital stay in November right around the time we had decided it was best to move her to Skilled Nursing.  This came about as she could no longer walk and my Dad just couldn’t care for her any longer, even with the assistance provided.  Once discharged from the hospital, she went directly into skilled nursing.  This facility is part of a larger community, the same one where my Dad lives and on the same campus.   

 

Once she went into Skilled Nursing, there was not a bed available in the section of the Skilled Nursing facility that would be her permanent home, so she went into the Rehab section.  This part of the facility is definitely the nicest and the newest and she had a private room.  We understood that this was only temporary and that she would be moved eventually.  I think the care she got there was “good”.  There was a mixture of people – some there clearly for rehab after a joint replacement, etc.  But there were also some people like my Mom – admitted after a hospital stay or a fall and clearly not completely lucid.  She had what I would refer to as some bad days, when she seemed really spacey and some days when she wouldn’t know some members of the family.  Everyone there ate their meals in the same dining room.  She was able to feed herself most of the time.  They had activities (e.g. Bingo) during the day and when nothing was going on, they had everyone sit in the TV room.  At first, I was completely stressed out about it and had this “vision” (fantasy?), that people would be working with her one-on-one doing stimulating activities, etc.  Eventually, I realized it was OK there.  I went over there frequently at dinnertime.  She always shared a table with the same women.  I got to know the son of one of the women and it became a nice social time when I went.  After a few months, she seemed to be doing really good.   She was happy, alert, able to feed herself most of the time.  The staff was able to take her to the bathroom and get her up and dressed.   

 

So just when everything was going great, we got word that a bed became available in the section where she would stay.  Before I forget to mention it, the day before she was to move, her eyeglasses went missing and were never found.  The 1st couple of days in the new wing were OK.  She was really spacey and I attributed it to not having her glasses, which we replaced a few days later, and to the new environment.  The staff in this wing mentioned that they had a lot of trouble “transferring” her, for bathroom needs and getting her up and dressed, etc.  This wing has a mixture of residents.  The facility is associated with the Catholic church.  The wing my Mom is in is also home to many retired nuns, so we’re told it is really the best wing.  So there are some women who are able to pretty much take care of themselves in terms of daily living, but are provided spiritual care and meals, etc.  Then there are other women like my Mom.  They have two separate dining areas.  The one my Mom eats in is mostly for people who need assistance in eating and the other one where folks (like the nuns) can serve and feed themselves.  They also have activities and on that wing, if they are not doing an activity, they are sitting in the hallway by the nurses desk.  They being Mom and others like her.  Is that typical?

 

So to get to the point of my post:  Mom has declined a lot since the move into the new wing.  She is not eating well at all.  She is “parking” food in her mouth.  They have just changed her diet to “mechanical soft” and she is not feeding herself.  She is back to being spacey most of the time and not communicating verbally very well – such as words coming out wrong, etc.  Much more frequently than before.  And she seems sad.  I’m very concerned and am looking for some input as to whether it is progression of her disease or did the latest move impact her and she needs time to adjust, like she did when she moved in the first room at the facility.  I'm so afraid she will not 'bounce back' again and that we are not doing enough for her... 

 


  

 

 

 

 

   Did you replace her glasses?  Get that done today, asap...it's a huge thing...

 

My mom got so upset one time when her glasses were missing...and she prefers one pair to the other...

 

Are the nuns company for her?  The nuns and your mom have had such different lives, it might not be the right mix for her (and I have many friends who are nuns

 

doe she have a UTI?  I would get that checked asap also...

 

do these things, and you will know a lot more...

 

is there Mass during the day?

 

I hope she feels better and soon..


rose_ro
Posted: Wednesday, April 11, 2012 2:46 PM
Joined: 12/21/2011
Posts: 2431


Janewb wrote:
Thanks MacyRose for your reply.  Since the last move, the doctor has seen her, I forgot to mention that.  When she first moved and I noticed the change, they did run some tests based on her history.  They did some bloodwork to test her kidney function and anemia and tested for UTI - all were OK.

 

 

How is her thyroid?

 

Did they do a 2 day culture for the UTI?


rose_ro
Posted: Wednesday, April 11, 2012 2:54 PM
Joined: 12/21/2011
Posts: 2431


janewb, the staff at my mom's place is very big on ''pushing'' people along to eat...

 

i also had a different ideas about what ''skilled nursing'' is...


Janewb
Posted: Wednesday, April 11, 2012 2:59 PM
Joined: 2/3/2012
Posts: 8


Rose Ro,

Yes they did the 2 day culture for the UTI. 

 

I'm going to check on her meds.  She does/did have hypothyroidism and had been taking synthroid for years.  I'm not sure she still takes it.  We had a great psychiatric nurse that worked with us on adjusting her meds.  Since she moved to SNF, it has been left to them.  But now that I'm getting more and more involved I'd like to get a better understanding of what she takes and why.  My sister is a (non practicing) RN and she had been the one dealing with meds prior to the move to SNF. 

 

Thanks!!


rose_ro
Posted: Wednesday, April 11, 2012 3:04 PM
Joined: 12/21/2011
Posts: 2431


I hate synthroid.  my mom started on it about 4 years ago, and I think it contributed to some of her problems - higher cholesterol, higher BP, etc.  she had low energy because her T3 got lower...

 

when she was still on synthroid, i saw improvement when they added T3...cognition got better...and the doctor switched her to armour

 

she's been on armour thyroid for almost 2 years now (T3 and T4) and is doing much better...

 

some doctors are pro-synthroid, like my mom's previous doctor...

 

find out if you can what memory meds she's on, and what dose, and if she's on an anti-depressant, what one, any other meds like blood pressure...

 

 


Janewb
Posted: Wednesday, April 11, 2012 3:05 PM
Joined: 2/3/2012
Posts: 8


Yes, her glasses have been replaced.  (see my other thread about fidgeting)

 

I think the nuns are company for her.  And I think it's good that not everyone in her wing is in the same condition as her.  A lot of them are old, but can walk around and do everything for themselves.  They are very friendly to her.  But there are a lot of other non-Sisters that live there also. 

 

We are Christian (Protestant), not Catholic.  They DO have mass during the day.  There is a beautiful chapel on the floor and another meditation room and a Sister comes around each day to give Holy Communion...But there is not any feeling of being in a religious-bases institution other than occassionally seeing a Priest and seeing nametags on the doors with Sr. before the name. 


rose_ro
Posted: Wednesday, April 11, 2012 3:13 PM
Joined: 12/21/2011
Posts: 2431


how do I get my mom in?   


We are Catholic, and one thing I wish my mom would do is be able to attend Mass every day , or almost every day....the place where she is, which is good, doesn't have Mass...it's not Catholic...

 

it can be calming, it's one reason I asked...and the fidgeting might be helped by saying the Rosary  

 

I just was wondering if it helped her to be around women who had children...I was taught by nuns, have nun friends, but it's pretty significant that they didn't raise families...and yes, they often do care for children, as students, etc...

 

but on the other hand, sympathetic friends can make great connections...

 

I posted here a few weeks ago, before my mom's stroke, about the differences between memory care and skilled nursing...I was trying to understand the differences...I'm not sure now that she'd had a stroke if she's really eligible for anything other than SN...but I thought there were things offered in MC that might help her..

 

I'm not crazy about my mom being around the nurse's station, but i have sometimes been grateful that they had her there (the few times we needed her to be around them)...i don't think it's a bad place for some people to be, some people are there every night and like being there...

 

but with my mom, i thought it might add to her confusion...