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#1 Daughter
Posted: Friday, May 16, 2014 6:41 PM
Joined: 5/14/2014
Posts: 13


Everyone tells the caregiver they need to get away and take time for yourself.so I did. I was gone 6 days to spend quality time with my dear friend of 54 yrs. when I returned home ,Mom had declined so much. I now feel I caused this. We have a wonderful senior companion that we try to use 1-3 times per month to stay with Mom, who by the way lives with my husband and I. When I was gone those 6 days, Mom was in her comfort zone of our home, my husband was home since he works out of our home and Mom saw her companion daily. But.... With me gone, she declined so quickly.   I feel she is declining faster than I can mentally and physically keep up. Any words of advice or wisdom????
Kazoo123
Posted: Friday, May 16, 2014 7:03 PM
Joined: 12/16/2013
Posts: 388


Could you describe the decline?  I'd agree that 6 days is quite fast for something major to happen, especially under the gentle circumstances you describe.  I'm wondering if your sense of guilt might be altering your perception (that's just a guess) to make things seems worse (or more different) than they actually are?
TessC
Posted: Friday, May 16, 2014 7:08 PM
Joined: 4/1/2014
Posts: 4879


So sorry to hear that you came home and saw your mother had declined. I hope you had a good time. My husband is always bugging to me get away and take some time off for myself.

 

I think our parents decline with or without us at home-we just don't notice it as much when we see them every day.  My sisters tell me they notice mom's declining in something, but I am with her all the time so don't notice it as much. 

 

I think with AD we have to be realistic-our LO will plateau for awhile but will have a steady decline no matter how much we take care of them. If prayers and tears and hard work could make it stop-AD's ravages would not occur in my mother. I do everything humanely possible to keep her healthy, make her comfortable, safe and feel valued-but in the end she will decline. I rather not fear it so I can face it head on.

 

I hope your mother recovers her physical and mental balance now that you are home. Good luck!


Jillyjill
Posted: Friday, May 16, 2014 7:16 PM
Joined: 7/19/2013
Posts: 4


My husband has early onset Alzheimer's. He has been on dual therapy Aricept and Namenda.
We were just informed that Forrest Laboratories is discontinueing the Namenda. Cruising the web it appears this might be happening to force patients onto their extended release formula. 
Is anyone else experiencing this?

#1 Daughter
Posted: Friday, May 16, 2014 8:46 PM
Joined: 5/14/2014
Posts: 13


It was very soothing being with my friend. So much taking and listening. But... The entire time away I could not get out of my mind the concerns of how things were going at home. Thank you for your quick response. It's so very hard to watch the decline.
Bubbily
Posted: Friday, May 16, 2014 8:46 PM
Joined: 7/29/2013
Posts: 473


I agree with Tess.  I think that being away and being with non AD  folks for almost a week, could have  altered your perception of what you saw.  

When you are so close, day by day, you don't really notice subtle things, you just accept it as normal.

The other thing, if there is a significant decline in some area, it may be indicative of something else, could she have a UTI?     If things do not seem to return to her baseline as you remember it, then perhaps a call to her dr will help.

I know that from about last June to this January, my mom ( who is in a residential facility, stage 7) seemed to decline week by week and even a space of a few days seemed to bring changes.  .She has now plateaued . 

   Although, I noticed these  changes, the staff and caregivers who are wonderful, didn't seem to notice that anything was different day by day. 

Do not feel guilty. Even if she did decline, it was not due to your going on a trip. Chances are it would have happened anyway.    

Take Care,

J


#1 Daughter
Posted: Friday, May 16, 2014 9:07 PM
Joined: 5/14/2014
Posts: 13


Yes, I took mom to dr. Tests for UTI... Normal, lung X-ray was normal and EKG WAS NORMAL. All of these tests were done because she now gets so short of breath when she exerts herself like when we are washing , dressing , walking. Since home from my trip she puts herself. To bed each day between 1-2. Well, she tries. She'll come out with gowns on. Top of day clothes, or layers of all types of clothing. She seems more antsy, mainly when she can't see me. I have to watch her dress or she will put whatever on. She'll ask for help but can't remember why she asked. She has always been a sports fanatic but now she shows no interest. She'll say she wants to watch TV in her room, but 5 mins later she is wandering out of her room. Sage walks with a walker full time inside our house. If out she uses walker or we use wheelchair.i now have to help her dress for bed, and help her into bed and cover her up. I'm rambling .... The list just continues to increase with new concerns. Thanks for listening.
Bubbily
Posted: Friday, May 16, 2014 9:59 PM
Joined: 7/29/2013
Posts: 473


#1, ramble on all you want . We have all been there.  Over the last few years at times this was the only place where others understood what I was going through and did not sigh and roll their eyes, like , her she goes again .....      

All of these changes are sad.  I feel like personally, I have gone through grief each and every time mom has lost some function.  It is hard.     This disease is crappy. 

Take care, and I forgot to say, "yeah for you for having that trip".  Friends are so important, especially old friends.    I lost my best and oldest friend 5 years ago and I still miss her.      I hope you had a great time. 


#1 Daughter
Posted: Friday, May 16, 2014 10:22 PM
Joined: 5/14/2014
Posts: 13


Thank you for your kind words of support
#1 Daughter
Posted: Friday, May 16, 2014 10:24 PM
Joined: 5/14/2014
Posts: 13


Bubbily, how is your Mom?