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Her Last Weekend
Aftershespassed
Posted: Thursday, September 5, 2019 9:54 AM
Joined: 9/5/2019
Posts: 1


Short story attached...my final weekend with my mom
File Attachment(s):
Her last weekend(3).pdf (81639 bytes)

jfkoc
Posted: Thursday, September 5, 2019 10:52 AM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 17266


That is quite a story. Thank you for sharing it.

 It is a long journey with and abrupt ending that can leave us with many different emotions.

Please accept my sympathy and please know that we are always here for each other.


Jo C.
Posted: Thursday, September 5, 2019 11:55 AM
Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 10048


Hello After . . . I can only imagine what that must have been like trying to work through what was happening with your sister.   It had to be dreadfully difficult.

No matter what, the loss of one's Loved One, is such a heartache even though we know what to "expect" as far as what the end result would be and even though we know they are being released from their travails.

Your mother sounds like a dear person and you gave much to her as she traversed her dementia illness. 

Sometimes, even though we are far from the day our LO died, it still affects us on multiple levels and we never forget our LO and sometimes, the way things happened at the end still has some ability to resonate from time to time.  I had this happen one of my dearest LOs.  I do not dwell, but from time to time it comes to mind and I had to learn to let it go.

May you find peace in that you did all you could and that your dear mother knew you loved her dearly.

Thank you for sharing your experience,

J.


TessC
Posted: Thursday, September 5, 2019 3:10 PM
Joined: 4/1/2014
Posts: 4879


I extend my sincere sympathies on the passing of your dear mother. I'm glad she and you had a wonderful weekend before she died. I hope God grants us that grace when it is my mother's time to die.

 My mother also is at home and on hospice and pretty much sleeping all the time, drinking a little bit and is bed bound. It was good to hear of your experiences with the last 5 days of your mother's life as it may help me to know what to expect and do, and how to cope.

 I hope you will have only good times ahead and that your life will be joyful and peaceful. You are a loving daughter (or son) and deserve the best. Blessings to your dear mother and to you.


LicketyGlitz
Posted: Thursday, September 5, 2019 3:21 PM
Joined: 2/3/2018
Posts: 476


Thank you for sharing your experience, After. You know, maybe your sister had to go through that to feel some peace when your mom died? Maybe it comforts her... I dunno, family dynamics are funny, and by "funny" I mean really, really hard.

My sister and I co-care for my mom, also with difficulties in getting along, but not to the extent that you dealt with. I have been watching Fleabag on Amazon Prime, a dark, difficult comedy, but what has absolutely endeared it to my heart is the two sister's relationship of surface anger and frustration, but push-come-to-shove love when the poop really hits the fan. It might resonate with you too.

I wish you and your family peace as you work through your grief.


Victoria2020
Posted: Thursday, September 5, 2019 5:02 PM
Joined: 9/21/2017
Posts: 927


"Family dynamics and economic status play a major role in anyone’s ability to care for a parent or spouse in their own home...but for one whom is stricken with this incurable illness no better gift can be given. Now – when I look back at granting her stay at home wish it’s a nice, warm and prideful feeling. I think how happy my mom must be with the way she was cared for and loved through the darkest of days"

 Caregiver's health, stamina and safety play a major part in many decisions to place a loved one. Hubris, not so much.

Sorry about your loss.Hope, somehow, you and your sister can make some kind of peace or truce and that you'll recover your health impacts too.