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the comfort of home
Space within
Posted: Saturday, October 12, 2019 1:19 AM
Joined: 10/7/2018
Posts: 70

  while visiting with my mom tonight in her room at MC facility, she started to get sad and kinda weepy. ( She has been having more mood swings lately that lead her displaying sadness.) I was standing next to her as she was sort of crying and she said something to the nature of , I just want to be home.   I really didn't know what to say or do, cause I'm getting sick of saying  "   it's alright". I also feel I've blocked my empathy lately...chalking her sadness up as the disease.  I feel awful and mean sometimes because I try to cheer her out of her sad moods. Maybe those are the times when she is aware that she's so sick and realizes she is now in a care facility?   

Well tonight I was able to relate with her, I think. She was missing the feeling of home.  I imagine she just feels(felt) uncomfortable.  How many things are familiar to her anymore, that can give her that comfortable feeling of home?      It's better to focus on the positive things or the actions I can take to be supportive. 

I am so grateful I was there with her. (Who knows if I helped at all?)  Just to see her through .        


Posted: Saturday, October 12, 2019 2:18 PM
Joined: 2/16/2017
Posts: 839

When my DH was in MC he always said he wanted to go home. One day I asked him where his home was and he told me a address I had never heard of before. I asked his brother about it and he told me it was a home they lived in when they were very young.

When I visited my DH while he still able to walk I would take him to a drive thru coffee stand we used to go to he had no idea where he was at. The coffee stand was not too far from where we lived so one day I took a chance and drove down our street and I asked him if he recognized anything and he said "NO have I been here before"?  It was very sad but I guess you never know what home they are referring to. Hugs     

Posted: Monday, October 14, 2019 11:59 PM
Joined: 9/8/2017
Posts: 2309

Last week the caregiver and I sang Happy Birthday to dad, and he just wasn't liking it.

" know what? I'm taking off now"

I asked him "where you going?"

"To my house"

And he makes movements like he's going to take off, but he can't get up on his own. So he just plays with the sheet on the bed with a grouchy look on his face.  

Or if he's on the transport chair, he moves his feet a bit and leans over and quickly forgets what his escape plan was. 

He's just grouchy sometimes.  Poor guy.