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Feeling a bit overwhelmed
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 1:15 AM
Joined: 1/17/2012
Posts: 1

Hi, I've been lurking on and off for quite sometime reading all the great advise you've all been passing on.  Mom is "suspected" as having Alz (it's a bit difficult to diagnose her with a language barrier - but having eliminated most other possibilities they're saying it most likely Alz.)  around 2008. I've been peeking in from around that time but finally reached a point where I feel a need to vent a bit so here goes.


Dad's been looking after her up to now with my help and we've managed somehow to keep mom safe despite her efforts to "go home" etc.  But recently he's been hospitalized due to a heart block and brain hemorrage due some falls he's had from the heart block.  So now he's in the hospital, I'm at home with a rather argumentative(?) mom who keeps wanting to go home - to lock up because she left without locking up.  She was doing rather well when he first went in but now with his first surgery coming up tomorrow she's starting to want to "go home" again, being rather nasty about me and absent-dad, etc.  I just feel like crying. 


I know tomorrow when I take her to her friend's place to be watched while I go to work, trying to arrange for a more permanent arrangement with a day care center and stuff I'm going to feel better once everything falls into place, hopefully.  But at the moment I'm kinda feeling it and it's so hard talking to my friends because they've no experience like this.

Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 8:30 AM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 3976

I'm sorry about what you are going through.


IMO, you should definitely look at placing both of your parents.   Your dad is not going to be able to take care of your mom after the hospital - nor should he have to.  Your mom is only going to get worse. 


I'm in the process of looking for somewhere for my own parents.  Dad is normal - just elderly.  Mom has dementia.  She is eventually going to be a danger to herself and other and needs to be protected in a memory care facility.  What I found out is that there are retirement communities that offer facilities for both people who are normal and people who have dementia and I think that is going to be the best solution for my parents. 


It's just a rough situation.  For us, it is hard because we've never dealt with anyone with dementia in our family before. 



Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2012 5:04 PM
Joined: 12/17/2011
Posts: 108

KeepOn .. you could ask to talk to the Social Worker at the hospital where your Dad is ... they might be able to help you find placement for your Mom ... You need to look out for Dad's health, too and it would probably not be safe for him to come home and need to care for Mom.


Are you saying that Mom tries to "escape" or "elope" from her home ... looking to go home, or just gets extremely agitated about that subject?  You may need to consider putting extra locks on the doors .. up high where she might not notice them.


Welcome to the boards ... glad you are doing more than lurking now ... hold on!