RSS Feed Print
funny (but not really) story
dutiful deb
Posted: Sunday, February 19, 2012 5:16 PM
Joined: 1/1/2012
Posts: 1882

Okay, this is funny, but also really embarrassing and I'm ashamed that I fnd it funny.


Today I noticed my mom, whose movements have become awkward lately, trying to fix herself a cup of coffee after church. Recently she has taken to pushing in front of people, then either stopping or taking a long time to do something which always creates a traffic jam.   Behind her were lined up some kids, two of them the Pastor's children, with cups in hand waiting to make themselves some hot cocoa. I approached Mom to help, and complimented the kids by saying they were being very patient and polite. Mom said very loudly, "Not really! I told them they have the manners of a DEAD DUCK!" Those poor children looked as embarrassed as I felt, but they didn't say anything. I just said, It's okay; I'll help. So after getting Mom situated with her coffee, I helped the kids make their cocoa and again complimented their politeness.


What I'm finding funny is her choice of words. I've heard of  acting like a calf looking at a new gate, or a deer in the headlights,  and I've heard of being like a bull in a china shop, and a lot of others, but never "the manners of a dead duck." I mean, who says that? 


 Does anyone else out there find themselves relieving tension by laughing at something that would otherwise be considered rude and disrespecful? I am only laughing now that I'm at home and away from the situation, and I didn't laugh in front of anyone, but still I am rather ashamed of myself. I've always had a good sense of humor and am finding it comes in pretty handy lately. but still...laughing at my own mom. Shame on me! But gosh it was funny....

Posted: Sunday, February 19, 2012 5:21 PM
Joined: 12/2/2011
Posts: 138

Enjoy the laughter!
Posted: Sunday, February 19, 2012 5:27 PM
Joined: 1/18/2012
Posts: 175

I find myself laughing alot sometimes.But I tell myself if I didn't laugh sometimes I would cry. LOL

My MIL has said somethings out loud that shouldn't be said in mixed company. Won't say some of what she has said.

But nuttin for you to be ashamed for.. Laugh honey..   My granny has always told me laughter is good for the soul..

Waiting for a cure
Posted: Monday, February 20, 2012 12:58 AM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 295


Thanks for sharing that!  


Never heard of the particular insult referring to ducks.  My AD grandmother didn't mention ducks a lot but she did a lot of shooting public.  People standing in line behind her got a different kind of insult. 



And don't feel shame either.  I'm concerned  that a determined to be serious  member will jump on your "shame on me" and really grind it in.  NO!!!!    


God gave us people to care for, hands to help with, and a sense of humor to keep ourselves going so we can keep caring.  If I didn't allow myself to laugh during the journey (not laughing AT our loved ones, but not letting the dementia win, like Sharkey said so eloquently) I'd be too ill to be any use to anyone.


God bless you for all you do for your mom.



Posted: Monday, February 20, 2012 10:27 AM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 156

The only reason to be ashamed of laughing is if it is mean in spirit. But that was funny!


Even my mom, in her earlier days, would laugh at herself when she said certain things. Her favorite expression when she would catch herself used to be, "Well, I'm okay. Lock you up!" And then she would laugh.


You hang on to laughter. It will serve you well and keep you from taking too seriously things that are, in the grand scheme of things, not such a big deal.


Just a side note, when Mom started deteriorating but was still mobile enough to get out and about, I bought a package of blank business cards for my printer. I printed cards that said simply, "My mom has Alzheimer's. Bless you for your patience." At the bottom of card, I included the Alz Assn web address. I kept them in my purse and if things started getting dicey, it was easy to just slip one out and hand it to someone.

Posted: Monday, February 20, 2012 10:31 AM
Joined: 12/3/2011
Posts: 52

You can laugh or you can cry.  I choose laughter!
Posted: Monday, February 20, 2012 10:35 AM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 235

You have to laugh after all they say its the best medicine