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Rejected! Rebuffed! Refused!
Posted: Thursday, September 5, 2019 3:33 PM
Joined: 2/3/2018
Posts: 718

Our hospice saga continues...

And then a little bit of boasting - I showered Mom this morning with no crying, screaming, kicking or hitting! First time in two months I've been able to get her through a shower without a major meldown. Feeling a little bit like a dementia rock star! I'm sure she'll knock me off my pedestal later today, but for right now - CAN'T TOUCH THIS!

Posted: Thursday, September 5, 2019 3:56 PM
Joined: 9/8/2017
Posts: 2262

Thx for sharing Lickity. I still expect dad to get discharged because other than being non-ambulatory, everything is still pretty ok. We just passed the first 3 months and haven’t heard anything, but let’s see in another 9 months what happens.
Posted: Thursday, September 5, 2019 4:01 PM
Joined: 7/17/2017
Posts: 403

Hooray for the shower!  I'm sorry about the hospice rejection, but you know you can get another review fairly quickly.  In my Mom's case, her qualifying event was that she had lost a certain amount of weight in a short period of time. She was on hospice for a total of about 18 months (she re-qualified each time without any problems) .  Your blog/website is terrific!
Posted: Thursday, September 5, 2019 7:45 PM
Joined: 5/21/2016
Posts: 1988

Hi, Lickety, "From the other side" here, the "Far side." 

I would put off hospice as long as possible. As soon as hospice kicks in, it's all about comfort, which is fine if you like comfort, but if you like struggle, like my dad and mom did, then comfort has a weird ring to it, like highly suspect. The comfort of the enveloping darkness of velvet softness of Death. THAT kind of comfort. Creepy comfort. 

My dad needed hospice but he was a natural fighter so he thought he had just gypped the system by getting out of the hospital and home when really he should have been hooked up to a million machines and then left to die.

My mom desperately needed hospice but she had a nurse like a vulture who required fighting like David against Goliath for her to remain sane and pain free.

So, your mileage may vary.

My personal opinion is: Fight like the dickens against Death with a Capital D because it will steal your loved one in the night without you saying goodbye, and it has no mercy on who it hits, kids, middle, elders. Death is an equal opportunity killer, kills 'em fast and kills 'em slow, where we go, no one knows, unless you're deeply religious, that is, in which case you know exactly where they're going to go, and it's probably where you're going to go too, so that you will have company where you go. 

And it's probably where I'll go too. I try, oh yes I try to stay above the line, but I do have my dips.

Posted: Thursday, September 5, 2019 10:23 PM
Joined: 2/3/2018
Posts: 718

Gems! I knew there was an item I was forgetting on the list - sudden weight loss! I'll get that fixed.

I'm wishing we could access the services hospice offers now, but still a little relieved it's not yet our turn. Regardless of today's victory, I just really, really, REALLY wanted a bath aide.

Thanks for reading, guys.

Posted: Friday, September 6, 2019 11:29 PM
Joined: 1/23/2017
Posts: 1219

Of course, I can't speak for anyone else dealing with weight loss, but for Barbara, I was able to stop it on my own with ( Please forgive me, admins, because this is NOT an advertisement ) my old Vitamix. Barbara was seeming to get tired of chewing, even though I would cut everything up in tiny bits and feed her nice and slowly. I hit upon this because a nutritionist was suggesting one of the protein shakes, and I remember that in one of her SNF stays, they had made them into a shake by adding ice cream and popping it into a blender. I got to thinking, " I can do that, " and I did, with the addition of some extra fruit and a little milk. Oh my ! She would slurp down 10 -12 oz. in no time. It worked so well, that I decided to try it with her dinner, and I just dumped in whatever I was cooking, including any leftovers I had in the fridge, and hey presto ! A meatveggieyou-name-it smoothie. Sure enough, slurp slurp slurp, and 4 or 5 minutes later, it's all down the hatch. Last weight check, we are up 2 lbs.

Score 1 for the home team !

Posted: Saturday, September 7, 2019 8:34 PM
Joined: 2/3/2018
Posts: 718

Hahaha! Rock on, chrisp! Way to improvise a solution. Thanks for the tip!