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"Never Change" by Elizabeth Berg
Posted: Friday, December 23, 2011 9:25 PM
Joined: 12/2/2011
Posts: 160

When my partner first began needing 24/7 care and I felt exhausted and overwhelmed, I'd read novels for a while after she went to bed. I found that rereading novels by Elizabeth Berg was especially comforting. I like the way her mind works. She writes about finding beauty in the midst of tragic situations, so that following her mind and stories becomes a healing experience.

Just by "coincidence," when my partner began getting sicker and sicker I started rereading a novel that I think is one of her very best: "Never Change" -- about loving someone who is dying. 

It seems especially appropriate for members of this subforum. Hope it comforts someone else too. Keep it in mind, like a hidden piece of dark chocolate tucked away for a hard time.

Posted: Friday, August 23, 2013 7:08 AM
Joined: 12/30/2012
Posts: 3519

I found this post looking for a different one....I was not on here in 2011.  I will look for the book now.  Thanks for sharing it.

Posted: Thursday, October 3, 2013 10:43 AM
Joined: 12/30/2012
Posts: 3519

I read Never Change in a few hours.....after I read The 36 Hour Day (nonfiction).    My Daddy died from a cancerous brain tumor when he was 34.  I was only 9.  My mom did not want to read the book...understandably.

When I was younger I would have said assisted suicide or suicide in general was wrong.  Reading Never Change and understanding what the end would have been, seeing Daddy go through the worst, I now see why some people choose their time to die on their own terms.

A very thought provoking book, thanks for sharing it!


Posted: Friday, October 4, 2013 8:28 PM
Joined: 12/30/2012
Posts: 3519

Now I am reading "The Year of Pleasures" by the same author.

The woman is 55, just starting over after her husband died of liver cancer.

Maybe I will learn things I can use someday.

Posted: Saturday, October 5, 2013 6:24 AM
Joined: 8/28/2012
Posts: 318

I've been amazed at various points in the past at how perfectly one or another of Elizabeth Bergs books described what was going on in my life.  Reading her books is, for me, a bit like coming to these boards - you're with someone who understands what you're going through, helps you better understand the situation, and makes you feel that you're not alone.
Posted: Saturday, October 5, 2013 3:39 PM
Joined: 12/30/2012
Posts: 3519


That is what I was thinking today as I read my second Elizabeth Berg book.

I have seen the movie Range of Motion but now I want to read the book.

I confess to feeling emotionally drained in a good way for facing starting over with this woman, Betta-the main character.

I was also reminded to be thankful for the time I still have with my dh.

I fixed him biscuits and gravy and fried eggs, leftover bacon for breakfast.

He made the instant grits and it was good that he could make the grits today.

Posted: Thursday, November 28, 2013 6:10 PM
Joined: 12/30/2012
Posts: 3519

Creating Moments of Joy is on the recommended list of books for caregivers and I borrowed a copy at the Alz support group meeting.  I found some of the information was also covered in other  books I have read but it did have good information for families with a LO in a facility.  Just in case anyone was wondering about the book.