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No fear here
llee08032
Posted: Tuesday, May 29, 2018 8:03 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4406


Just want to move on and think more pleasant thoughts and focus on things that are and people more worthy of my time. Many of the authentically good people here deserve to be complimented for the dignified way in which they dealt with the sociopathy and victimology that was compartmentalized across the boards. We had each other's backs.  That's what support and enduring relationships built upon mutual respect look like. It's over. Time to move on.

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Jo C.
Posted: Tuesday, May 29, 2018 9:25 AM
Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 10227


What a thoughtful Post; thank you llee.  I also agree that it is time to move on.

J.


alz+
Posted: Tuesday, May 29, 2018 7:49 PM
Joined: 9/12/2013
Posts: 3549


hey! L lee.

I have so much respect for you and am so grateful for having my back at times when I was full of self doubt and angst.

Yes, it is natural to find people on internet boards over time some become special friends. The point of boards, to me, was to use our stories and experiences to find better easier ways of living with dementia.

We are all inventing our own care! our mistakes benefit others as much as what we get right.

I was so scared to get on a plane to visit my grandkids but even if the trip had been super disaster my mistakes and poor judgment would help others. 

By the way, Iris had told me to "pack underwear, don't worry about the rest" and I thought I did that but I packed underwear in different places and could not find it until I got back home! ha! But she is right, that was what mattered.

I remember the first time I laughed, months or years after the diagnosis. I built on that. We are laughing every day now.

love and courage


llee08032
Posted: Friday, June 1, 2018 7:32 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4406


alz+ wrote:

hey! L lee.

I have so much respect for you and am so grateful for having my back at times when I was full of self doubt and angst.

Yes, it is natural to find people on internet boards over time some become special friends. The point of boards, to me, was to use our stories and experiences to find better easier ways of living with dementia.

We are all inventing our own care! our mistakes benefit others as much as what we get right.

I was so scared to get on a plane to visit my grandkids but even if the trip had been super disaster my mistakes and poor judgment would help others. 

By the way, Iris had told me to "pack underwear, don't worry about the rest" and I thought I did that but I packed underwear in different places and could not find it until I got back home! ha! But she is right, that was what mattered.

I remember the first time I laughed, months or years after the diagnosis. I built on that. We are laughing every day now.

love and courage

The point of the boards is "to find better and easier ways of living with dementia" or cognitive impairment. Making friends along the way is a reward that involves reciprocity and the earning of trust and respect. It's a fact that not all persons here on the boards are friends or like each  other just like everywhere else in the world.

 

Choosing our friends and being chose to be someone's friend is a personal choice. Fortunately, no matter our impairment we still get to make choices. Humans are attracted to other humans for various reasons that we are always not aware of. Sometimes we can figure out why and other times we can't. It just is what it is.

 

Hearing about how terrible and awful persons on the YOAD board are all the time is getting old. I'm tired of it and others are as well. I don't understand why people can't just be on the boards w/o blaming others or attacking others for being different or feeling different. It feels like WE are being violated and victimized. I choose not to be a victim or be violated and I want no part in any promotion of this unacceptable behavior. That's my personal choice and my right. I choose to ignore unacceptable behavior.

 

If ever I make an exodus from the board I won't make a scene, blame anyone and will accept the responsibility of my choices. Promise you'll check to make sure I'm not dead!

 

No one here has ever been deserving of such harsh treatment. Please hold your heads high and know that we will we get through this. That you have done nothing wrong except to be yourself. Continue to be true to yourself and don't change anything! Listen to your gut.

 

 

Allegedly, many people have left the board because we are so horrible here. Well I can't help noticing that many come back. Why would someone want to come back to where they were treated so horribly? Perhaps there is not a better place and that it's really not so bad here after all?

 
The board bashing has to stop here and it will not be tolerated anymore. The moderators are on their toe's and doing a good job in keeping this a safe place. Every bashing post needs to be reported immediately. Board bashing should not be promoted or fed into. We are responsible and must take a stance to put a stop to it once and for all.
Peace be with you,

 


llee08032
Posted: Friday, June 1, 2018 8:19 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4406


No fear here. God's got this!
Andrew60
Posted: Friday, June 1, 2018 9:31 AM
Joined: 7/17/2017
Posts: 342


llee08032 wrote:
No fear here. God's got this!

 

Amen,

Psalm 118:5-6 

Out of my distress I called on the Lord; the Lord answered me and set me free. The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me?



llee08032
Posted: Saturday, June 2, 2018 9:29 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4406


If only we could just be and post about our difficulties and/or our successes and support each other without harming others. Obviously there are limitations to the kind of support we can provide one another within the context of an internet forum. It's clear that things said can be easily misconstrued. Why not just ask for clarification if one feels like they're particular problem is being discounted or minimized or taken out of context in some way?

 Why can't one just say I don't feel like I'm being understood or I don't think you understand how difficult or horrible this is for me w/o casting blame or pointing fingers at others who may not really be understanding you through no fault of their own? We all feel misunderstood at times but that doesn't mean that we get to hold others accountable for our feelings. I have a hard enough time being accountable for my own feelings and cannot accept responsibility for the feelings of another. 

However, I am accountable to the best of my ability to not do harm to others. As well as, trying to ensure harm is not done to others when it comes to the people I care about. I sincerely mean to do no harm to anyone here or elsewhere. I don't think anyone here wants to see others leave the board and I believe the advice, feedback and support given here is 98% of the time given with good intentions. That's good enough for me and I'm proud of this board and the people here.

I challenge others as well as, welcome them, who have the gumption, the desire to and the courage to stay here. To  work toward promoting positive changes and growth.  But if it's not your personal choice to be here for whatever reason that's okay. Know that I harbor no ill feelings toward you and I'd much rather you stay.

The expectation is that we respect each other. I don't think that's a lot to ask.