RSS Feed Print
My therapeutic musings
llee08032
Posted: Saturday, July 12, 2014 12:38 PM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4406



THE APHASIA  


 

  

Misspoken 


 a word salad 

 

sentences fragmented-  

 

broken 

   

a riddled confabulation 


 

a word trapped 

  

 

  tangled...

 

 spewed 

   

  chewed 

 

and mangled 

 

 

I try to form it, 

  

shape it- 

  

rolling it-

  

with my lips and tongue... 

  

write with a pen 

  

sure I can speak the words 

  

if I visualize them 

  

I feel the words! 

  

I feel deeply... 

  

the significance of what to say 

  

a synapse misfires... 

  

  connections go astray 

 

a poverty of speech 

 

of word deprivation 

 

a decimation- 

 

of the language 

 

of that which is me 

 

the perception of I... 

 

self 

  

 deep is the laceration
 

 

of my proclamation 

 

 

 


llee08032
Posted: Sunday, July 13, 2014 8:34 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4406


 

Rain snapping the leaves 

  

 

lightening cracking through the trees

 

   

lightening snaps a picture 

 

 

bulbs bursting in the dirt

   

 

thunder booms

 

 

maple seeds split the earth

 

 
drinking in the rain

 

 

baby leaves shaking in the wind...

 

 
 
 

llee08032
Posted: Sunday, July 13, 2014 10:00 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4406



THE DANCING ANGEL



I was lost,


 all alone

 

whence came an angel, dancing in a path of flowers strewn

 

fiery copper shimmered from her hair

 

 pools of green cast golden glints beneath her stare

 

she spread her wings for me to share 

 

said, the path traveled by two is best to fare

 

 petals lifting in the air

   

I grasped...what she all along had known

 

it was the pain through which I had grown

 

there I was standing on my own

 

 not lost

 

not alone

 

I danced with the angel in a path of flowers strewn

 

 

 

 

 


Myriam
Posted: Sunday, July 13, 2014 2:49 PM
Joined: 12/6/2011
Posts: 3326


Grandpa
llee08032
Posted: Wednesday, July 16, 2014 7:49 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4406


THE FISH MAN'S WIDOW 

 

Crying in waves as the sea 


 

each tear swelling...  

  

 crashing on me 

  

rushed by the tide 

  

ripping from the shore 

  

screams a mere whisper over the roar 

  

the touchstone of existence 


 

 seemingly at the core of pain 

  

  

I am a wound open and oozing-  

  

  

  

repeating over and over your name

  

love teased with mere morsels of bliss  

  

steals life away with a kiss 

  

I shall never again 

  

succumb  to your charm 

  

 at the slightest weakening  

  

my heart will rebel in alarm 

  

from your touch  

  

I will recoil as from a flame 

  

hidden by walls  

  

structured of horror and pain 

 

 


llee08032
Posted: Saturday, August 9, 2014 6:37 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4406


APHASIA 



I try to form it

 

shape it

 

roll it

 

with my lips and tongue

 

I write with my pen

 

sure I can speak these words

 

if I visualize them

 

I feel!

 

I feel deeply...

 

the meaning of what I want to say

 

 the synapse misfires...

 

I lose my way




llee08032
Posted: Saturday, August 9, 2014 7:04 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4406


DAMSEL IN DISTRESS

 


Damsel in distress

 

 

plastic nails clicking, clacking across your desk

 

 

 

fake hair hidden in your tress

 

 

 

damsel in distress

 

 

 

your cars get fixed for less

 

 

 

damsel,
 
you've created such a mess 

 

 

 

mismanufacturing misery and stress

 

 

 

plastic nails clacking across your desk

 

 

 

damsel, damsel,

 

 

 

what's that stain on your dress?
 
 

Myriam
Posted: Saturday, August 9, 2014 11:17 AM
Joined: 12/6/2011
Posts: 3326


Triple clicking the "Like" button!
llee08032
Posted: Sunday, August 10, 2014 8:51 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4406


Ahhh, thank you!
llee08032
Posted: Sunday, August 10, 2014 8:57 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4406


 

SUNLESS MOURNING



Surely, the hour of death draws near.

Drenched in forlornness God would not hold me here.



Known, but not spoken,

I’m no good, my spirit broken.



Do you hear my wail? Recognize the guttural sound, emitting from a soul immobilized,

tied and bound?



On to higher sphere,  gone are my gifts of love from here,

Roaming within a surreal and widened space

Which exist not time nor place.



Death brings release, freedom, spirit coming full flower.

Life beats hard upon the heart whose love has lost power.



To love and be loved not. To reach out and be touched not.



Blinded by rivers of tears from the sun.

Set me free where amongst those I love my spirit can run.



What good is life, a permeation of fear,

It’s process the death of those cherished and dear.




llee08032
Posted: Thursday, August 14, 2014 7:17 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4406


I SAW YOU 

 

 

 I saw you... 

looking at me looking at you 

  

I listened to your voice, 

 hearing words I once spoke 

  

I sensed you feeling the pull towards me 

your breath warming me 

  

he saw me looking at you looking at me 

as she saw you looking at me 

  

red angry eyes bore into us... 

  

the snapping heat of hate 

threshed through the air 

  

 


llee08032
Posted: Friday, August 22, 2014 5:55 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4406


 

Departure 

  

  

You, on that day of threshing , spoke 

of your requirements; 

  

  

to be upbraided, to be 

unloosed from these blue garments. 

  

  

I recall you sobbing, in twilight, 

in the upper garden... 

  

  

Hush now, listen to me: 

you have touched a patch of wet clover suddenly, 

  

  

gripping the damp earth, rooting 

yourself in objects, in perception. 

  

  

You have pounded against a mass of stone. 

Be still, listen to me: 

  

  

I know what the river has told me 

and my own name. 

  

  

You will also come to know the whiteness of longing. 

You will understand what it means to be alone. 

  

  

  

  

Danny, 2014 (my son) 


Bonnie Hare
Posted: Saturday, August 23, 2014 1:44 AM
Joined: 5/28/2014
Posts: 458


I enjoyed your thoughtful poetry.
llee08032
Posted: Saturday, August 23, 2014 9:58 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4406


Death's Repose

 

 

Love as you sleep in death's repose,

my love doth not dissipate;

evermore it grows.

 

 

 

Love as you sleep in death's repose,

pain wraps up around me,

it's roots catch me

in it's throes

 

 

 

Your heart ceases to beat,

lying in wither.

At the sound of your name

mine heart pounds, races: come hither.

 

 

 

Your heart ceases to beat.

Mine heart broken,

longing, longing, longing

for kisses so sweet.

 

 

 

I roam the nights.

Footsteps clang echoes

against the walls of rooms incomplete.

 

 

 

I gather all you've touched,

building altars of you all around me.

 

 

 

I fall into slumber,

smelling and clutching your clothes.

 

 

 

My yearning doth not dissipate;

evermore it grows.

 

 

 

 


llee08032
Posted: Saturday, August 23, 2014 10:39 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4406


OLD EARTH 


 


 

Oh mother- 

of the old earth, 

  

  

sower and grower, 

of wisdom and worth. 

  

  

Poetess of pain... 

prudent is the Mother 

of all virtues. 

  

    

dancer of the rain, 

     

bringer and singer, 

  

of bounties bursting 

  

through the plain. 

  

  

    

Wise old earth... 

     

mine eye's she'd seen; 

  

years and years... 

  

before the birth. 

  

  

   

Threader and spreader 

  

of spirit and mirth... 

  

  

    

folder and whisker 

  

of sugar and love 

  

upon the hearth... 

  

  

    

Oh Mother, 

  

of the old earth. 

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


llee08032
Posted: Tuesday, September 2, 2014 9:57 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4406


THE STING 

 

 

  I feel the sting of your words 

even when I do not hear them... 

  

  

you cut me to the quick- 

nail me to the wall 

  

  

  

I feel the burn of your stare 

even though you don't see me 

  

  

    

you lash out at me with your sword 

  

you thrash me with your tongue 

  

  

    

your missiles of anger 

  

seek me out 

     

knocking me to my knees... 

  

  

    

I rise up 

  

from the ashes of your scorn 

  

  

     

projectiles of your POWERLESS hatred
 

  

thud dully at my feet 

  

and vapor in the wind 

  

  

  

                                                                                        

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

llee08032
Posted: Monday, October 20, 2014 10:13 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4406


LOST 

 

 

 It is I who is losing... 

  

I am the one that's leaving! 

  

it is for me 

  

that I am grieving... 

  

that's my chisel in the rock, 

  

scratching out what is left of me 

  

let go... 

  

your shadow lingers- 

 

casting a block 

     

release the chain that binds us 

    

look forward and not behind us 

 

let go... 


 

your idea of me 


 

of who and what... 


 

 you need me to be 

 

 

  

                                                                                    

  

 

 

 

 

 


Myriam
Posted: Tuesday, October 21, 2014 4:15 PM
Joined: 12/6/2011
Posts: 3326


You are so awesome! Do you have someone whom could help you gather your work and publish them?
llee08032
Posted: Wednesday, October 22, 2014 7:34 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4406


THE MERE SHADOW OF A MIND 

  

  

 

I recall- 

  

  

 the shadow of your face 

  

  

  

the shape of your form 

  

  

  

that look when you worry 

  

  

  

the deepest breath of your sigh 

  

  

  

the love in your soul 

  

  

  

  

I can close my eye's... 

  

  

draw the line of your chin 

  

  

  

touch your cheek 

  

  

and remember you standing in the sun 

  

  

tell me...  

  

  

of our love, 

  

  

our connection, 

  

  

of who and what we were together 

  

  

of what we are now 

  

  

  

tell me... 

  

  

who you are, 

  

  

 how I know of you 

  

 

 

 

 

 


llee08032
Posted: Thursday, October 23, 2014 5:59 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4406


THE DEMENTIA

 

 

 

Draw the sash-

 

 

lock the door


they tell me-


 I don't live here anymore...


 

Who changed the curtains?


 

painted over my pale yellow wall's?


 

let the ivy grow a tangle around the flowers-


 

encroaching up through the pathways?


 

all the endless hours I toiled in this garden,


 

all my work...


 

planting, planning...


 

contemplating, 


 

the placement of every seed 

 

 

 the culmination; 


a firing plethora of color 

 

 

bursting through gray 


 branching and spiraling

 

 

a cicatrix-

 

 

  bridging to the cross over -

    

 

that WAS the threshold of MY wisdom

 

 

 

where the unlocking of memory took place

 

 

 

 

 wandering through a foggy maze


 surrounded by gaps


searching for the key

 

 

pounding and pounding on the door

they tell me-


 I don't live here anymore... 

 

maneuvering around a hideous plaque

 

 

I think I understand...

 

 

I step over a hole 


 shift to the right


I'm locked in...

 

 

  going around the hole 


I veer to the left


 I'm locked out

they tell me-


I don't live here anymore...

 

 

                                                                                     







alz+
Posted: Thursday, October 23, 2014 6:09 AM
Joined: 9/12/2013
Posts: 3549


I did not know what MUSINGS were. Finally got here this morning.

 

Poetry! Speaking from the heart. Absolutely lovely.

 

Love that people share here. I feel refreshed, washed clean after reading your work. really well done. inspiring


llee08032
Posted: Saturday, October 25, 2014 9:21 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4406


Thank you alz+,



I did not know what MUSINGS were.



IMO musings= ranting, raving, rambling, spitting out what hurts, re-storying,

the truth that may hurt others, unjust, inner reflection, depictions of beauty and ugliness and love and hate etc., etc., etc.









llee08032
Posted: Saturday, October 25, 2014 10:48 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4406


Manic is the morning 

  

the day of the new dawn 

  

wavy and curvy 

  

shapes pass 

  

through the heat of the sun 

  

she looks through the window 

  

beckoning to no one 

  

she stares... 

  

the keeper opens his shop 

  

she breathes in smells of the city 

  

 a mingle of smoke oil and gas... 

  

 she blows out the pollution  

  

as he pulls her from the window 

  

  laughs at the sleep lingering on her face 

  

he feeds her tea and toast 

  

tells her where they will go 

  

mapping out every little detail 

  

of where and when 

  

he assures her he will be by her side 

  

softly stroking her cheek 

 

he tells her... 

  

what day it is 

  

that he is her husband  

  

where they are 

  

the places they been 

 

she looks toward his noise 

  

a shroud of fog surrounds him 

 

remembering his smell 


 her face brightens
 

  

she touches the shiny thing on his finger 

 

(he shows her this everyday) 

 

 and asks for tea and toast  

   

  

  

  


llee08032
Posted: Saturday, October 25, 2014 11:39 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4406


FAST TALKERS   

   

  

   

PLEASE...  

   

   

stop talking    

   

      

you're voice sounds like a helicopter  

   

     

snapping propellers around my head  

   

       

 talking- 

 

talking 

 

balking... 


 

 faster than I can hear  

   

   

let me draw words in...  

   

   

 marinate them in my thoughts...  

   

   distinguish babble  


 

 the truth of that which is clear 

 

be still long enough-  

   

for me to sink into your idea  

   

   

to know if I like it  

   

   

 hate it  

   

   

stop... rushing in  

   

   spinning a top 


around me 


 

sounding... 

  

  

 like a snake oil salesman 

 

pushing, pushing... 

   

  potions and cures
 

 

the grandiose politician 

 

filthy in dirty money 

 

harping  

harping 

 world peace 

 

the other party's 

doom and gloom 

 

the lemon selling car salesman 

 

the mother of the bride 

  

smothering every little detail 

 

as she slay the groom 


 

 

 

 

 

   

 


 

 

  

   

 

 

 

 

                                                                                  

                                                                                    Dedicated to alz+

work in progress...


alz+
Posted: Tuesday, October 28, 2014 8:10 AM
Joined: 9/12/2013
Posts: 3549


Poetry says what words can not explain.

 

Very cool work. I feel understood.

 

love and courage


llee08032
Posted: Friday, October 31, 2014 7:27 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4406


the disease does not discriminate


it's hostages come in all shapes ,sizes and #'s


it does not care if you are affluent


rich or poor


happy, sad

 


Sammie14
Posted: Friday, October 31, 2014 10:33 AM
Joined: 10/31/2014
Posts: 1


Your words of pain and loss touch my heart....thank you so much for sharing these articulate workds......
llee08032
Posted: Saturday, November 1, 2014 7:28 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4406


   

THE AGE of INVISIBILITY
 

 

I was in line at the counter first... 

  

I looked at her,  



 

thinking...  

 

is she pretty or is she just young? 

   

He looked past me  

  

 through me... 

  

She flicked her tongue, 


 


 

snapped her young neck 

   


 catching his eye...  

  

She thought she was really something... 

  

He thought she was something 

  

I told my self they are nothing  

  

I swallowed my words... waited and stood in my invisible rage 


llee08032
Posted: Saturday, November 1, 2014 7:51 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4406


alz+

 

A compliment coming from you is validating! I greatly admire your talented writing, the out of the box point of view and spirit that you bring to the board! I will follow those posts of your's looking to be mused again.


llee08032
Posted: Saturday, November 1, 2014 8:33 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4406


AD VICE

 

 

A vice diva once told me about life.

 

I took an avid dive into her dull cave.

 

I came up empty-

 

A vise, a vase, a vise-grip,

 

of shrilling divas.


Paul Hornback
Posted: Friday, November 7, 2014 8:16 AM
Joined: 8/9/2013
Posts: 584


llee, beautiful work. Continue forward and I know others will be blessed by your writing.

God Bless, Paul


llee08032
Posted: Saturday, November 8, 2014 6:47 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4406


Thank you so much Paul! The words keep pouring out! 
llee08032
Posted: Saturday, November 8, 2014 7:30 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4406


  

he turned me a song 

  

hymned to me 

  

  the night long 

  

the calling of love 

  

 whisper of fate 

  

I was beautiful 

  

 steady  

  

 strong 

  

a vision of perfection 

  

 his eye's... 

  

dark and kind 

  

a mirror of my reflection 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Myriam
Posted: Saturday, November 8, 2014 1:56 PM
Joined: 12/6/2011
Posts: 3326


llee08032 wrote:
OMG! I am having an awakening type of experience with the Excelon patch...

Like!!!
llee08032
Posted: Wednesday, November 12, 2014 5:50 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4406


A bug sits at my hairline 

I turn away

  look back 

it is gone 

the bug returns the following day

it's at my hairline

moving closer to my ear

 I lose time...

 the morning passes me by

smoke wafts up from

 grey walls 

disappears ...

persons stand at the edge of a driveway 

too close to the road 

traffic roaring by 

I  shoo them back 

then see they are statues 

objects rush toward me 

I tango around a tangle 

  move backwards 

 gazing into the picture 

 watching myself from afar