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"Poor me" destroys me
btuma6
Posted: Friday, September 12, 2014 10:39 AM
Joined: 9/9/2014
Posts: 20


I wrote about the real feeling of being wrapped in a web as a description for others, not as an excuse for myself.  There has to be a time when I don't think poor me or others to think poor him, and I need to simply seize the moment. This is especially true with this disease since tomorrow I might not be able to do what I can do today so I must make the most of the moment.

 The famous saying is "seize the day"  That might not be possible but I can do something this moment. I used to plan and look forward to the year, then the month, and now it's hard for me to look beyond the moment let alone the day.  So I need to do something to be doing and not just being.

I can sit at my computer and begin to type and see what happens. I can walk the dog to the end of the block and back.  I can lift a one pound weight and try to count the number of times I can do it. Something, anything needs to be done.

 I used to ignore the helper who said I needed to find things to do that can give me a sense of accomplishment or value or joy There no longer anything in my life that fit that description. I cried with my friends just two weeks ago that I could no longer write. But I did something, and then I tried and now I've written. Two weeks ago I couldn't.  Either it is a season, which I need to take advantage of, or it's the fact that I started to do something and then tried to write since there was a need, and the doing re-awake part of what I could do.

Caregivers, don't walk around looking at your love one as a victim for the love one will feel that.  Walk around as if this was another moment and do, and maybe the love one will gain energy and do also.

That's just from my personal life and not because I know.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


BBunny
Posted: Sunday, September 14, 2014 12:22 PM
Joined: 5/28/2014
Posts: 458


Btuma6,  I was rereading your post, gleaning the wisdom contained, when I realized a familiarity of thought.  Years ago, I was a busy "supermom" trying so hard to cover all the bases at home and church.  I became sick and weak, later diagnosed as fibromyalgia.  I was unable to do many of the things that gave me my feelings of accomplishment.  I was in women's bible study when the teacher said....You are a human being, not a human doing.  The time you are just being is precious to God and your loved ones.  Don't become so busy that you have no time to just be.  That little word of wisdom changed my feeling about my life.  When I couldn't move, I read and prayed and just loved on my family.  I wasn't the same busy mom, but still, a good, maybe better mom, focusing on the basics in life.  Most importantly, did I love?  Do they feel my warmth and happiness in being their mom/wife/child care provider, rather than my anxiety over illness and untended chores??  I just did what I could and let it go.  Thank you for sharing, because I am doing too much now, and you reminded me of that lesson long ago. I will do what I can in that moment. I am more than what I DO.  I am a human being.