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having a good cry
Posted: Tuesday, June 26, 2018 10:01 AM
Joined: 9/12/2013
Posts: 3556

I live in a very rural place, my husband takes care of me. No one comes to help him and so far we are doing ok.

Past few days one of my remaining connections to the world has become too dangerous for me to enjoy - online comment sections. I feel the hate and tension in our country every day, fearful angry people attacking each other online is nothing new but yesterday I was target of attacks that mocked me for being imprecise in my language, was called a "racist" for bringing up subject of online shaming of people by twitter and FB in  regard to one particular incident. 

My point was hate and attacking others, destroying their livelihood for what may or may not be anything more than an ironic comment taken as something else seems corrupt to me. It was young men who grouped up and it felt like being raped - I became a thing, they enjoyed my suffering.

So I quit that group and shut down my other usual places to post.

It is very hard to love this country and see how it has devolved and now I am really broken hearted about losing another connection to outside world.

I am feeling rage and waiting for hospice nurse, do not want to talk to her or see anyone. It feels like a need A  Good Cry, the kind where you let it out and feel the pain and end up washed clean.

The people here are my friends I trust. It is supposed to rain soon and tomorrow too. Maybe by time sun comes back out I will have pushed through this.

This group is my sanctuary, and even here my sense of self worth was played a couple years ago. I hate having to be so cautious all the time as my brakes are thin.

I am not able to dig out the rocks I find, too tired to walk with dog, need my refuge to stay for us, by us. 

I searched "internet abuse of people with ALZ" and all it came back with was 1000s of stories of ALZ patients abusing caregivers.

Just resting here editing and thinking has helped, tears have begun, hope the shock is washed out soon.

really sad.

Keeper used a garbage can full of my prizes to make a rose and rock garden. It is beautiful...

Iris L.
Posted: Tuesday, June 26, 2018 11:29 AM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 16498

I hear you, alz+!  This is not the world we grew up in!  Like you, I feel the need to protect myself. I often think that I need to live in a bubble--become a Bubble Woman.  This way I can protect myself from onslaughts from others.  This one small board could be a sanctuary for people like us.  

Iris L.

Posted: Wednesday, June 27, 2018 5:47 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4405

I'm sorry that happened to you alz+. The world seems to be filled with more and more bullies. Putting ourselves out there and sharing our opinions is taking a risk when others just seem to lie in wait to pounce. I've been feeling the need to cleanse with a good old fashion gut sobbing/shuddering cry and release also. I like the exhaustion and drain I feel after a good cry (providing that I can take a nap ) and like you say try to view it with interest. ((((((alz+)))))))