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looking to connect with lesbian couples coping with Alz.
tcc
Posted: Tuesday, October 30, 2012 8:12 AM
Joined: 10/30/2012
Posts: 2


Hello everyone - I'm writing for my sister and sister in law.  My sister has just been diagnosed with early Alzheimers, and she and my sister in law have been looking for support communities.  They've found some in New Hampshire, where they live, but haven't found any lesbian couples coping with the disease.  There are some unique issues there, emotionally as well as legally, and they would love to find folks to connect with.  (I'm writing because technology isn't really their thing.)  If you are part of a lesbian couple dealing with Alzheimers or some other type of dementia, please contact me and I will put you in touch with them by email or through this forum.  Thank you so much!
Johanna C.
Posted: Tuesday, October 30, 2012 8:33 AM
Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 10049


Hello tcc and a very warm welcome to you.  I'm so glad you found this wonderfully supportive place.

 

We have had multiple lesbian and gay caregivers who are Members on this Message Board and I can tell you that they were warmly welcomed and were considered part of this terrific extended family.  At this point in time, I do not specifically know if we currently have a lesbian caregiver who is active - we may indeed have and just don't know or I may have missed it.

 

I would like to extend the invitation to your family members to join us if they would wish to do so, there is a lot of support to be found here.  Our Forums include Caregivers; Spouse and Partners; I Have Alzheimers and Young Onset Alzheimers.  One can communicate on any Forum they wish and many of us participate on multiple Forums. 

 

While I do not know specific support groups in your area, I would like to suggest several things.  First, give a call to the Alzheimer's Association at (800) 272-3900.  They may be able to assist.  Also, use the following to insert your zip code to find the local Alzheimers Assn. office nearest your sister and sister-in-law who may have a listing of just such support groups.  Go to, www.alz.org/apps/findus/.asp 

 

Also, there is social work support and perhaps assistance to be had from two groups;  one is, Lambda Legal at www.lambdalegal.org  they can be helpful in any legal paperwork, etc.  Then there is SAGE:, at www.sageusa.org/index.cfm  They are for assistance to older GLBT folks.

 

You are a compassionate advocate on behalf of your Loved Ones and I do hope you are able to locate a terrific support group.  In any case, we do invite any and all of you to join us here, we'd be delighted to get to know you better.

 

Johanna C.


Johanna C.
Posted: Tuesday, October 30, 2012 8:51 AM
Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 10049


Oops - forgot to include the fact that at the Alzheimer Association there are Care Consultants. They are highly educated Social Workers that specialize in dementia and family dynamics.  One has to request to be put in touch with the Consultant and one can bring up any situation that needs addressing or just to receive support for difficult emotional issues.  There is no fee for this service.

 

Johanna C.


AFF1
Posted: Tuesday, October 30, 2012 9:44 AM
Joined: 10/29/2012
Posts: 22


Hello TCC,

I just joined ALZ Connected yesterday, and your message is very welcome.  My partner, who is 61, was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in January.  We do not know any other lesbian couples who are dealing with this disease.  I would be delighted to connect with your sister and sister-in-law. 


tcc
Posted: Tuesday, October 30, 2012 9:58 AM
Joined: 10/30/2012
Posts: 2


Thank you so much, AFF1!  They will be thrilled.  The diagnosis is new, and they are a bit overwhelmed.  I'm new to this, and apparently not any better at technology than they are - my connections page says we are "pending connection" and clicking gets me nowhere.  Does this mean it is pending you?  If it's easier, my email is tiela@tielachalmersconsulting.org.  Thanks!
AFF1
Posted: Tuesday, October 30, 2012 1:21 PM
Joined: 10/29/2012
Posts: 22


Tiela -- I just emailed you.
dfh
Posted: Tuesday, October 30, 2012 2:11 PM
Joined: 8/14/2012
Posts: 427


AFF1: just want to tell you that I saw your earlier post (which I cannot find!) about having friends join your partner for meals with her while you are away. I'm very impressed with such a wonderful solution to give you some space & to socialize your partner at the same time. So glad you found this board as I recently did. And to find such a good response from tcc. Good luck. dfh
AFF1
Posted: Tuesday, October 30, 2012 3:09 PM
Joined: 10/29/2012
Posts: 22


Thanks, DFH.  So glad to have found this message board and best of luck to you as well.
Iris L.
Posted: Wednesday, October 31, 2012 10:06 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 16102


Welcome tcc.  Go to the Archives and look for Cathy JM's posts.  She is no longer active because her partner passed away last year (late December 2011), but her posts were very informative and supportive. 

Iris L.

Edyjo
Posted: Thursday, November 1, 2012 11:50 AM
Joined: 10/31/2012
Posts: 1


Hello TCC,

 

On November 11, my partner & I will celebrate 19 years together....but now it doesn't really matter.  Alzheimer's has stolen the joy of ANY celebration from our lives, in June, 2009!  Jo was only 57.

 

We live in Yukon, OK .  Like your sisters, we've yet to find any others in the LGBT community who are also going through this horrible disease.  Although, here in OKC, there is a Younger-Onset support group, that has welcomed us with open arms. 

 

This is probably a redundent statement however, tell your sisters to get all their legal affairs in order NOW!

 

 

 

 


ReikiMasterHuff1
Posted: Friday, February 6, 2015 2:24 AM
Joined: 1/25/2015
Posts: 1


Good Morning, All!
I was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's. I'm 52 years old. My partner "got scared", and left me after my diagnosis. I just really feel alone and not sure how to deal with everything.

Iris L.
Posted: Friday, February 6, 2015 8:10 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 16102


Welcome, Reiki. I'm sorry to learn about your diagnosis, especially at your young age. Are you on medication? Many of us have found that medication and Best Practices help us prolong the early stages and improve our functioning.

Please join us on the Younger Onset board. The other patients would like to meet and support you.

Iris L.

kkdavis1370
Posted: Wednesday, April 22, 2015 1:06 PM
Joined: 4/22/2015
Posts: 2


Hello Reiki. I am so sorry that your partner left you because she was scared. My partner is 59 and I am 44 and she is about to be diagnosed with dementia. We know the diagnosis is coming and to be honest I will be glad to actually have a diagnosis. She is a breast cancer survivor and has had at least 1 stroke and possibly other small ones that we don't know for sure about. Her memory and communication skills/thought processes have declined over the last year and she was never ready to go to the dr. I have finally convince her to go...had MRIs of the brain, lots of blood work...go for results next week. I would NEVER leave her because of her illness. YES! We are both scared! She verbalizes her fear but I do not. She brought up today that she has thought about leaving us (we also have a son that is almost 10) because she doesn't want to be a burden to me and doesn't want my son to have to see her go through all of that. I am scared of her leaving us...but at the same time scared about how I can successfully work full time, be a full time mommy to my 10 year old and a full time caregiver to my wonderful partner. Since there is no legality to our relationship, I don't know that there are any benefits available to me to help with all of this...


Best of luck to you! Stay in touch