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It's the same disease
Gladys Zandar
Posted: Saturday, October 31, 2015 9:17 PM
Joined: 10/30/2015
Posts: 6

Whether a same sex couple, or opposite sex couple, the disease of dementia or Alzheimers presents the same problems.  The care that is still necessary regardeless of who you are or who you live with or are married to.  My partner is sick and it causes me  grief, concern, worry, heartache anxiety, anger, as well as trying 24/7 to meet her needs and keep her safe and secure all while she is not aware of what is going on with her and why sometimes I get frustrated
Jo C.
Posted: Sunday, November 1, 2015 1:39 AM
Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 10405

Dear Gladys:  A very warm welcome to you; I am very glad you have found this Message Board.  You are not alone, we understand.

I am truly sorry for what is happening with your Elaine, and imagine the heartache, stress and worry this is causing.  I noticed in your Profile that Elaine is not willing to seek care and can tell you this is something many of us face with our own Loved Ones (LOs).

This particular Forum for LGBT Members is simply a Forum like any other; you may post your writings anywhere you wish on any Forum.  Most of our LGBT friends have used the Spousal/Partner Forum or even the Caregiver Forum to communicate because those are the Forums with the most Members and the most experiential wisdom, advice and input.

I will share with you that our LGBT Members have been welcomed with open arms no matter which Forum they choose to go to, so you may want to explore areas where you will get more input from Members who have faced and dealt with issues similar to those you are now dealing with. 

The Alzheimer's Assn. also has a Helpline that can be reached at (800) 272-3900.  If you call, please ask to be put in touch with a Care Consultant.  Consultants are highly educated Social Workers, who specialize in dementia and all the dynamics that surround that.  There is no fee for this service and the Consultants can give good input, share information and also can often provide contact numbers for helpful entities within your community.

If you call Monday thru Friday, regular daytime hours, your call will automatically be routed to your local office.  Off hours/days, the calls go to the national office in Chicago.

I hope we see you out on the busier Forums where you will get much input and practical advice based on wisdom of those who are farther along the path and who have faced similar behaviors.

Elaine is blessed to have you by her side; you are already an excellent advocate on her behalf.

Please do let us know how you are, I will be thinking of you and we truly do care.  We are all here in support of one another and that now includes you too!

With warmest best wishes to our new friend,


Posted: Sunday, November 1, 2015 8:23 AM
Joined: 7/24/2015
Posts: 3020

Hi, and welcome to the forum,

I am so sorry you are both going through this.

It is true that the most active boards on this forum are the Caregiver section and the Spouse section, so it gets the most responses to questions and the largest pool of answers...and many participate there, including people with the disease, so you would be welcome there as anywhere on this forum. I know that we have other same sex couples on here and they are all welcomed and part of the community, because as you said so eloquently - it is the same disease and the same issues. 

Sorry for any confusion about how they choose to separate things here, please feel free to jump in anywhere and in any section.