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Trouble Finding Respite Care
Posted: Friday, August 23, 2019 12:30 PM
Joined: 8/23/2019
Posts: 1

Hello everyone,

I'm excited I found a place to ask questions and learn about others experiences. My mother (my fathers primary caregiver), had surgery recently and we tried to place my father with dementia in temporary respite care, but he was rejected by all of them. In the past, he was accepted into respite care for a few weeks. Some said they didn't have room, some said they couldn't take him because he wanders and they don't have a locked unit. We even had one accept, and then deny at the last moment. I had a candid conversation with the coordinator and she said that it's because of his behaviors and wandering. 

He was very aggressive in the past and wandered a lot, but now he is very slow and can barely walk. It's doubtful he would wander farther than the front door without getting tired and stopping. He's also not very aggressive anymore.

Has anyone had issues with this? Has anyone found solutions? 

My mom needs a break! 

Posted: Friday, August 23, 2019 12:36 PM
Joined: 6/21/2019
Posts: 758

I believe the PWD has to be in Hospice Care before Respite Break Care is available. Medicare will cover five days under certain conditions.
Greg G
Posted: Friday, August 23, 2019 1:56 PM
Joined: 2/8/2017
Posts: 986

Hey lizzettee,

Welcome to the club no one want to join.  But we are glad you found the front door to our place.

By chance did any of these places come do an evaluation on dad?  Especially since as you stated, he has changed.  It seems to me a little strange that no evals were done.  

Wandering is a big issue if the place is not a locked facility.  They do not want the responsibility for someone who wanders.  Were you looking at locked Memory Care places or more like Assisted Living?  It kind of sounds like you were looking at the wrong type of facility for dad.  But I do not know all the details.

Others may have other information or suggestions.

Good luck and best wishes, Greg

Posted: Saturday, August 24, 2019 4:20 PM
Joined: 4/1/2014
Posts: 5103

It looks like these places already have your father pegged so you may have to go out of town. You will have better luck getting your father is a memory care facility. They are usually locked and can handle mild behavioral issues.  Even if it is farther than your own home town, it's worth the respite.


Posted: Tuesday, August 27, 2019 9:10 AM
Joined: 10/21/2016
Posts: 2565

And if you end up looking at facilities that are out of town, look for one that is newly opened.  They are usually anxious to fill their beds!
Ken’s wife
Posted: Tuesday, August 27, 2019 12:32 PM
Joined: 5/15/2018
Posts: 23

Yes I have had the same problem. I put my husband in respite and the next time I wanted to no one would take him. They said because of his behavior. They said if he was less mobile they would consider taking him in the future.
caregiving daughter
Posted: Thursday, August 29, 2019 7:28 AM
Joined: 11/27/2012
Posts: 2131

Could you do respite in a locked unit? Then you and facility wouldn't need to worry about wandering. It's short-term.