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Still hard
Cdmtch
Posted: Tuesday, February 25, 2020 5:02 PM
Joined: 1/15/2020
Posts: 2


Almost a month ago my Mom lost her battle with this horrific disease.  She had Alzheimer's for over 10 years and fought it with all she had.  She went through each and every stage and in the end, just stopped breathing.  She dealt with other health issues and was constantly monitored for UTI or fluid balance (she had CHF as well).  I have never known a stronger fighter!  Two years ago I left my teaching career and moved in with my brother's family and mom to provide care for her in his home.  We knew she wanted to remain with us as long as she could.  I feel blessed that we were able to honor that and would do it again even though it has been a difficult road.  What I struggle with the most now is the feeling of being lost and unsure of what to do each day.  Our focus was almost entirely on Mom.  I just don't have a sense of direction.  I'm sure that will change in time but just getting through it seems so hard.  I've read many of the posts and know I'm not alone.  Many say it will get better... I just want to make sense of what comes next.
Skittles412
Posted: Wednesday, February 26, 2020 7:25 AM
Joined: 5/14/2018
Posts: 244


It's so difficult to carry on after losing the person we spent all of our time and energy on for so long.  First of all you have to take time out to rediscover yourself and see who you are now. You are definitely not the same you that is for sure. But you will find some semblance of you when the time is right. You need to heal and breathe for now.  It's so early in your grieving process.....  Absorb your experiences and let them help carve out the person you are after the storm. I'm so sorry for your tremendous loss..... <3

 


bunifoot
Posted: Wednesday, February 26, 2020 2:36 PM
Joined: 12/26/2018
Posts: 31


I understand where you are at, because I lost my Dh about 6 weeks ago.  The lost feeling, no energy, no 'hop to it' .  Try a grief share group if there is one in your area.  I've been going 3 weeks now, is it helping?,,,,,,,,Time will tell.  I am working on trust issues with his kids and the new people at church . 

I decided to look on line before i maybe just curl up in bed today.  I just remember God is in control and has a plan for each of us, and He will never leave us or forsake us.

Julie


TessC
Posted: Thursday, February 27, 2020 10:46 AM
Joined: 4/1/2014
Posts: 5021


Cdmtch, I am sorry for your loss. I also was a long time hands-on caregiver for my mother and when she died, I also felt something was missing and wondered what I was going to do with myself. I'm lucky to have good friends and after about a month, I began to call on them to cheer me up and keep me busy. I took a long overdue vacation with DH about 2 months after mom died and that helped a lot, but the first month I just felt sorry for myself and that is part of grieving and healing as well! So let the grieving process progress at the pace that feels right to you. In time you will begin to feel normal in this different life stage, just don't expect any timeline and it will happen. But if you have difficulties, there is no shame in seeking help. We are here for you, too. Hugs and best wishes.
TessC
Posted: Thursday, February 27, 2020 6:36 PM
Joined: 4/1/2014
Posts: 5021


@bunifoot

 I see you have had a recent lost as well and I wanted to send you hugs and condolences for the lost of your DH. Best wishes to you and I hope your support group will be helpful.


Skittles412
Posted: Friday, February 28, 2020 10:20 AM
Joined: 5/14/2018
Posts: 244


Sending lots of love and strength to you Julie as you navigate through these uncertain times.  Take good care of yourself and let your soul start to heal for however long that takes.  Be good to yourself.  

xoxoxox - Kat