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Anybody else going stir crazy over these COVID-19 restrictions?
elainechem
Posted: Wednesday, March 18, 2020 8:56 PM
Joined: 7/30/2013
Posts: 6026


My hubby died one month ago today. I had hoped to start re-entering real life. NOPE! The stupid virus is keeping me home alone still. I live in Albuquerque. The haven't closed all the stores and restaurants yet. I'm praying that they don't. I have pretty much no contact with other living human beings unless I go out to eat. Yes, I dine alone, but at least I can have brief conversations with the wait staff. When hubby was on hospice, I got to see his Home Instead caregiver six days a week. I saw a nurse at least once a week. The chaplain and social worker checked in on me regularly. Now there's nothing. I have a few friends that I can talk to, but it's hard for me to reach out. 

The local Alzheimer's Association has cancelled all support group meetings until further notice. Yes, they're offering conference call meetings, but that's just not the same as seeing them in the flesh. I had hoped to start going to a women's Bible study or volunteering somewhere, but that won't happen for awhile. 

As if being a dementia caregiver wasn't isolating enough...


Skittles412
Posted: Thursday, March 19, 2020 7:08 AM
Joined: 5/14/2018
Posts: 250


I'm so sorry Elaine, that really is difficult.  Do you have any family you can reach out to in the meantime?  We are always here for you when you need us so please reach out to us.  Hang in there; things have to get better eventually.  

love to you

xoxoxox - Kat


TessC
Posted: Thursday, March 19, 2020 2:18 PM
Joined: 4/1/2014
Posts: 5052


I'll skype with you if you have a skype acct, Elaine. Just let me know and I'll tell you my username.

 No reason to be isolated. You can still take walks and commune with Mother Nature (she's the best!) You can call on friends. I have talk to at least one old friend everyday since the stay at home protocol was put in effect in my hometown. I picked up take-out yesterday from my fav restaurant and chatted with the grateful owner. I have many Facebook "friends" and look at their timelines and leave messages. My town has a need for Meals on Wheels volunteers since they still must provide food for their seniors and shut ins. Lots can still be done to be a part of the community and get out and help and see other people. Good luck!


demiscared
Posted: Thursday, March 19, 2020 8:29 PM
Joined: 8/26/2015
Posts: 109


I can sure feel your loneliness.   My DH passed only 2 weeks ago.  We have had to postpone his memorial, so there isn’t even that for closure and moving on.   I am grateful that he passed before all of this quarantine started or I might be sitting in jail.  There is no way they could have kept me away.   I really miss human contact.  Hits from my children and grandchildren but we must endure for the long run.  As hard as it is, I will continue and try to find reasons to be grateful.   We have been through so much with the dementia and now this quarantine.  People have even made comments like this has to be better than what you were going through, well maybe, but there was a more personal purpose to taking care of and being isolated with my husband.   I hope your days get better.  Hugs to you!
jfkoc
Posted: Saturday, March 21, 2020 7:31 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 18330


Elaine...thinking of you and hoping that today was easier
elainechem
Posted: Saturday, March 21, 2020 9:32 PM
Joined: 7/30/2013
Posts: 6026


jfkoc wrote:
Elaine...thinking of you and hoping that today was easier
I only cried once today. I think that's better...

Army_Vet60
Posted: Sunday, March 22, 2020 11:42 AM
Joined: 6/21/2019
Posts: 682


I have just enough to keep me occupied and distracted from going stir crazy, but......

Today, I've become really frustrated with the quarantining.

I went to the supermarket and bought a bouquet of flowers to put on my wife's grave. I do this on each monthly anniversary of her death.

I drove out there and found the cemetery locked. The management posted a sign saying to prevent the spread of the virus nobody would be allowed into the cemetery....

I can go into a supermarket and stand next to dozens of people, but I can't visit my wife in a field where I've yet to come across a single person in six months of visits...

This is the one time of each month I literally need to be near my wife to talk to her.


ladyzetta
Posted: Sunday, March 22, 2020 1:31 PM
Joined: 2/16/2017
Posts: 663


Dear Army,

I am so sorry this happened I feel your frustration. Of all places to close you would not think a cemetery would be one of them. Your in my thoughts. Hugs  


Army_Vet60
Posted: Sunday, March 22, 2020 2:16 PM
Joined: 6/21/2019
Posts: 682


ladyzetta wrote:

Dear Army,

I am so sorry this happened I feel your frustration. Of all places to close you would not think a cemetery would be one of them. Your in my thoughts. Hugs  

ladyzetta,
Thank you for your reply and the internet hug. That's the closest thing I've had to human contact in a week. I appreciate it.

MPSunshine
Posted: Sunday, March 22, 2020 3:05 PM
Joined: 5/21/2016
Posts: 1988


Hi, Army Vet, I'm so sorry this happened to you!!!!! Of all places, the cemetery! I feel so sad for you. I know your wife still appreciates that you care and that you remember her. In my culture, when a person dies, that's the first death, but it is when a person stops talking of that person, that's the second death. So keep talking about your wife! That keeps her alive!

Best regards,

Someone who persists in talking about my dad and mom,

Because I still love them dearly,

MPSunshine


Army_Vet60
Posted: Sunday, March 22, 2020 3:16 PM
Joined: 6/21/2019
Posts: 682


MPSunshine wrote:

Hi, Army Vet, I'm so sorry this happened to you!!!!! Of all places, the cemetery! I feel so sad for you. I know your wife still appreciates that you care and that you remember her. In my culture, when a person dies, that's the first death, but it is when a person stops talking of that person, that's the second death. So keep talking about your wife! That keeps her alive!

Best regards,

Someone who persists in talking about my dad and mom,

Because I still love them dearly,

MPSunshine

MPSunshine,
May I ask what your culture is? I'm spiritually inclined and wholeheartedly agree with that philosophy.  
I still feel my wife's presence in our home and I make sure she knows I miss her and appreciate her each day.

If you're acknowledging your parents, they know it and appreciate it.


dutiful deb
Posted: Sunday, March 22, 2020 7:42 PM
Joined: 1/1/2012
Posts: 1875


Elaine, I'm so sorry. You are in my prayers. I can't imagine what it must be like to grieve the loss of a loved one on top of the quarantine situations that are going on.  I've found with each loss, that people come around to give their condolences, attend the funeral, send cards, etc., but soon they go back to their own lives, which is when the lonely feelings hit hardest. I am just in the beginning of things with my husband, and know that one day, if I outlive him, I will be in the same shoes as others here. 

Our state is not in lockdown, although the governor and the mayor of my town declared a state of emergency.  There is a press conference being held by the governor tomorrow, and the announcement may bring a change. Most in my area are expecting a shelter in place mandate.  We are already being advised to self-quarantine, use social distancing, and follow all the other recommendations. I work in a childcare facility, and am considered an essential worker.  Unless we are closed down, I will need to continue working. I am staying home when not at work. Our local stores have set aside the first hours of their day for elderly and medically compromised shoppers; if I absolutely have to go to the store, I do so in the evenings. The stores have been virtually empty at 8 pm. Unfortunately, I've heard reports of people crowding stores earlier in the day, standing shoulder to shoulder, and the beaches were filled with visitors who were in no way observing social distancing. Because of the crowded situation, the coastal towns are closing their doors to visitors. 

I'm sorry, too, Army Vet, that the cemetery was closed to visitors. I don't understand, either, how some places can be so full of people in close contact but a place like a cemetery can be closed.  As I have been staying home, I've been going through a lot of pictures and putting them in albums. So many of them are of my mom and others who have gone on. I've been able to look at these without crying, for once. My phone takes a pretty decent picture of a photograph, so through the magic of technology it's been nice to send these to relatives and have virtual chats about family history. 

I wish us all well during these times of added stress and struggle!