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Thirty three years more
Debbyd1959
Posted: Monday, July 17, 2017 1:28 PM
Joined: 7/17/2017
Posts: 12


 Thirty three years more 

Tears fall silently on my pillow;

I choke back the sobs.

This man lying beside me sleeping peacefully;

Unaware of my utter despair.

You promised me thirty three more years. 

Stay with me my love; I am not ready.

I am frightened of the grim time ahead.

This thief called dementia

Robs my love of our precious memories.

How long will you remember our times together?

How long will you see me?

Why do they call it Sundowners?

That seems like something wonderful and idyllic; 

not a robber of our sweet evenings together.

But I will take them just to be with you.

My friend, my lover,  my confidant, my everything.

You have given me the best years of my life.

I will give to you my patience, my kindness and my unswerving love. 

I will gently guide you and walk with you.

I will laugh with you, cry with you, and pray with you.

For better for worse

For richer for poorer 

In sickness and health 

Bound together by this thing called love

For thirty three more years;.


Jim Broede
Posted: Monday, July 17, 2017 3:08 PM
Joined: 12/22/2011
Posts: 5462


I hope it gives you solace. In the end, Debby. When you discover that your true love. Will continue to live. Forever. Inside you. This dementia stuff. It’s overblown. A mere bump in the road. In life’s grand journey. At least that’s the way it seems to be going for me. I never really lost true love Jeanne.  She’s still very much alive. In me. Love on the spiritual plateau is even better and more intimate than physical love. Incredible as that may seem. Especially at the moment of one’s deepest sorrow. Please. Please. Stay in love. All the way.  Never lose heart. Believe. You won’t regret it. --Jim

 


Debbyd1959
Posted: Monday, July 17, 2017 6:15 PM
Joined: 7/17/2017
Posts: 12


What beautiful advice. I know that if he gets to where he doesn't know me, I will have to find a way to deal with it. Sometimes I wish I could go first, so I don't have to deal with things to hard to deal with.
Jim Broede
Posted: Monday, July 17, 2017 10:34 PM
Joined: 12/22/2011
Posts: 5462


My dear sweet Jeanne died nine years ago, Debby. And I have only fond memories. Rarely do I think of Jeanne’s death. From Alzheimer’s. That has almost been erased from my mind. Instead, it’s natural to focus on the best of times. During our 38 years of marriage.  Believe me. Jeanne was the best thing to ever happen to me. She was my true love. I loved her unconditionally. She gave of herself. And I gave of myself. I have no reason to lament anymore. Over having lost Jeanne. To the ravages of Alzheimer’s. I am grateful. For having had the opportunity to be Jeanne’s care-giver. And to do, as Jeanne wished, that I get on with life. As a romantic idealist, a spiritual free-thinker, a political liberal, a lover, a writer. I am now linked to my second true love. Cristina, a lovely Italian, who I met on these message boards. Her mother had Alzheimer’s.  We have a loving relationship. Cristina spends summers with me. Here in Minnesota. I spend winters with her. In her homeland, Sardinia, an idyllic island in the Mediterranean Sea. I suspect that it was Jeanne. From her perch in the spiritual realm. That brought Cristina and I together. Her way of seeing to it, that I got on with life. Better than marking time and waiting for death. Instead, the message from Jeanne. Was this: Live life to the fullest. Don’t dwell on grief. Indeed, Jeanne has looked out for me. As a guiding spirit. She wanted me to be happy. And I always wanted her to be happy. I am sure she is. Up there. In spiritual paradise. I don’t know what is in store for you, Debby. But I suggest, just let it happen.  And in the process, stay in love.  With life. That’s what your husband would want you to do. To dedicate the remainder of your life to the pursuit of happiness. Yes, that’s the wish of a true lover. Grant him that wish. And you’ll make him happy, too. In paradise. --Jim

 


Jim Broede
Posted: Tuesday, July 18, 2017 5:02 AM
Joined: 12/22/2011
Posts: 5462


I’d rather be the care-giver, Debbie. Than the one that needed care. Seems to me that it’s more pleasurable to live. Than to die.  I was nine years younger than dear Jeanne. You are 17 years younger than your husband. Anyway, how fortunate for me. I’ve had time and opportunity to be blessed. With two true loves. In a lifetime. Think about it. Many navigate their entire lives without a single true love. Meanwhile, you and I have tasted bliss. Let’s savor it. For the rest of our lives. I got great satisfaction and pleasure.  In being Jeanne’s care-giver. In essence, her protector and advocate. Her unconditional lover. In the time of her most dire need. That’s the least a true lover can do. Now go to it. Live. Live. Live. And do what you were destined to be. A true blue lover. For the rest of your life. Yes, you have ample reason to celebrate. That sure beats feeling sorry for one’s self. Instead, live and love. Endlessly. That's my recommendation.  It's your choice. No one else can do it for you. --Jim

 


Jim Broede
Posted: Tuesday, July 18, 2017 5:16 AM
Joined: 12/22/2011
Posts: 5462


Seems to me, Debbie, that you have the potential to become a love poet. Try it. Make time for it. It's a nice way to pursue happiness. I want your next poem to be a happy one. Giving thanks for your blessed life. If you can't hear (comprehend)  these words now. You will hear them later. After the grieving. --Jim
Debbyd1959
Posted: Thursday, November 1, 2018 9:15 PM
Joined: 7/17/2017
Posts: 12


Dear Jim, 

I guess I have been gone so long you may not remember me.

I followed your advice and started writing poetry to help cope. My sweetheart is still with me. I want so much to have him formany more years. I forgot about this site until tonight when one of the counselors at Alzheimer’s Association talked to me. I have been so overwhelmed!

So I came back and I am sure glad I did!

I hope you are well!

Debby


Jim Broede
Posted: Monday, November 5, 2018 12:12 AM
Joined: 12/22/2011
Posts: 5462


Your posts and poetry are uplifting, Debby. Because you are truly in love. Not everyone is, you know. Some merely go through the motions. You are a real lover. The important thing. Is not to get side-tracked. Worrying about the future. Just take it a day at a time. Find something to savor. Every day. Even in the worst of times, there’s something to relish. To embrace. Just feeling the pulsebeat of joy that comes with being in love.  You have ended up in the right place. Here in Musings. Stick around. I like to follow love journeys. That’s what you are on. I’m happy for you. --Jim

 


Jim Broede
Posted: Tuesday, November 6, 2018 8:00 AM
Joined: 12/22/2011
Posts: 5462


Being alive. There's no greater feeling. Than fully savoring a moment. In love. --Jim
Jim Broede
Posted: Wednesday, November 7, 2018 4:53 AM
Joined: 12/22/2011
Posts: 5462


Keep sharing your poetry. Please.
just exhibit Love
Posted: Saturday, December 1, 2018 2:01 PM
Joined: 12/6/2011
Posts: 681


Debby

what beautiful words of wisdom.

I'm bringing it ttt so those who missed it would enjoy reading it.

Namaste

Love Rosie