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DH can no longer get anything from TV, reading, etc.
stampnharp
Posted: Friday, August 16, 2019 10:08 AM
Joined: 11/6/2018
Posts: 16


Since his brain erases everything within minutes (or seconds), I can't find anything that will interest him. Last night we started to watch a pre-season football game (formerly our favorite thing to do together) and he doesn't "see" big plays and nothing makes sense.   He walked away after 15 minutes....so that was the end of the football.  He is from Oregon, and he just wants to travel back there....only I have spine damage from radiation 42 years ago and can barely get around.   I have looked at 3 different adult day care facilities, but 2 have a terrible atmospheres with profound brain damage or people with severe retardation (yelling, flailing).  The other one is good but far away.  Because DH is so bored, he sleeps on and off all day, and this after a 12 hour night.   This morning I had the idea of checking Amazon for books with old newspaper comic strips that are only about 4 squares and nothing to remember.  I would love to hear from others who also face this challenge.
jfkoc
Posted: Friday, August 16, 2019 10:29 AM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 17177


Yeah, the football game may no longer track. Try some other channels, nature and travel may be more to his liking.

In addition see what your library may have in the way of large picture books, Again nature and travel are a good start.

I am sorry that you can not do outings but how about having someone come in and take him to the library...a park...a walk or do some light cooking with him or plant some lettuce seeds.


Keep It 100
Posted: Friday, August 16, 2019 11:08 AM
Joined: 2/26/2017
Posts: 384


Yes, I too have that issue, as my husband can no  longer read, no longer stay with a television show's "story" or track a tennis match on TV (his sports passion). 

I have found that when I need to keep him stimulated at home while I am unable to attend to him directly, either having his playlist playing on our sonos system, or having the TV on to a Ken Burns documentary series works to occupy him. 

I hadn't thought of picture books, though that may be a great idea and something to try as well. It is just a heartbreaking step to take with such a brilliant man....

Also, I am fortunate to have a good daycare facility nearby and do that 4 afternoons a week now to stimulate his great socialization needs. Though many of the other people in the program are much older and non communicative, they have a very good ratio of staff and volunteers to patients (1:3) and so he has plenty of people to interact with. He has always had such an amazing, positive personality that the staff/volunteers just love him. If you can manage day care and get him to the better center I do recommend it. 


Victoria2020
Posted: Friday, August 16, 2019 11:18 AM
Joined: 9/21/2017
Posts: 842


The day care here demands 8 days minimum at $80 a day per month, no insurance coverage. Is that pretty normal?
ScottyTom
Posted: Friday, August 16, 2019 12:31 PM
Joined: 5/12/2016
Posts: 51


It seems that short, simple story lines on TV are helpful for us.  My wife likes Shark Tank: short episodes, single clear topic.  She also likes cable news (go figure...I have to avoid it to keep my blood pressure from skyrocketing).  But again, maybe it is just the short, specific items, no complicated plot that keeps her attentive.  She never was a reader and certainly cannot read now.  Movie plots confuse her and movie theaters are too input intense for her to handle.
lvcatlvr
Posted: Friday, August 16, 2019 12:37 PM
Joined: 5/7/2018
Posts: 103


I'm having the same issue. My DH has always been a SF Giants fan. I have been watching the games with him (and I do not enjoy it) just so he will sit still for a while. But I notice he isn't even watching the TV half the time. He gets up a lot and wanders to the kitchen or elsewhere in the house. I really don't know how to occupy his time. He has stopped wanting to hike with his two remaining friends. Basically, he is just very apathetic. As for the picture book idea, my sister sent him a wonderful Audobon Society book which is basically just the beautiful paintings of the birds with a short description. He hasn't even looked at it.I am looking into our local adult daycare, but I'm not sure how I will get him to go there. He is still healthy physically and not always compliant, but I need to get him some kind of stimulation.

lvcatlvr
Posted: Friday, August 16, 2019 12:41 PM
Joined: 5/7/2018
Posts: 103


Victoria, I don't know where you live. Here we have a senior services run by the country. There is an adult daycare run by them. It costs $80 for a full day and $50 for a half day. There isn't a minimum of times you have to go. Maybe see if your country has something similar. I didn't know about until my daughter found out about it. I'm looking into it for my DH. My only issue will be to get him to go there willingly, but they do arts and crafts and other activities that could at least stimulate him some.
JJAz
Posted: Friday, August 16, 2019 1:31 PM
Joined: 10/21/2016
Posts: 2422


We went to MEtv with all of the oldie sit-coms.  Many shows that he previously had no interest.
Ed1937
Posted: Friday, August 16, 2019 2:19 PM
Joined: 4/2/2018
Posts: 1419


I was going to suggest some of the old sit-coms too. The old variety shows might work, like Dean Martin, Perry Como, etc. If none of the TV shows work, try music. It's hard to go wrong with music they like. And it can be stimulating.
amicrazytoo
Posted: Friday, August 16, 2019 3:15 PM
Joined: 1/12/2018
Posts: 67


We went through the same thing last night with the football season starting. He watched for maybe 15 minutes then went to bed. Mostly my DH watches the weather channel, seems to be something he can follow without really needing to follow, it's just a constant re-run for several hours in a row. (if that makes sense...)
lvcatlvr
Posted: Friday, August 16, 2019 11:27 PM
Joined: 5/7/2018
Posts: 103


I forgot to add that my DH does enjoy watching I Love Lucy or the Golden Girls.We've seen the same episodes over and over, but he laughs at them every time because he doesn't remember he's seen them before. It really helps get him out of a bad or agitated mood.
Crushed
Posted: Saturday, August 17, 2019 4:17 AM
Joined: 2/2/2014
Posts: 4613


DW liked standup comedy and nature documentaries.  Neither one has a plot.
Doityourselfer
Posted: Saturday, August 17, 2019 5:37 AM
Joined: 9/5/2017
Posts: 321


My husband usually likes Impractical Jokers and sometimes the local news.  When he's on the couch it means he's tired, it doesn't mean he wants to watch TV.  He's on his feet a lot in his  own world.
Sally1953
Posted: Saturday, August 17, 2019 9:40 AM
Joined: 6/18/2019
Posts: 17


Coming up with things to interest my husband and occupy his time is a daily challenge. He will watch news shows for awhile and he enjoys movies if the story isn’t too complicated. He picks up the newspaper and seems to be reading but it’s more just going through the motions. We have parks near our home and we love walking with our dog. I give him a few jobs to do around the house but I worry that he’s bored a good part of the day. I never knew just getting through the day would be so difficult.
Keep It 100
Posted: Saturday, August 17, 2019 10:36 AM
Joined: 2/26/2017
Posts: 384


Victoria2020 wrote:
The day care here demands 8 days minimum at $80 a day per month, no insurance coverage. Is that pretty normal?

_________________________________

Where I live (SE Va) that is the case for full day, $80, and half day is $50, 2 days/wk minimum. I have a friend in Pittsburgh and his wife’s full day is also $80 there. 


Lavakire
Posted: Saturday, August 17, 2019 11:30 AM
Joined: 7/9/2015
Posts: 42


My DH can no longer follow show plots and sports events.  But I found one that he DOES watch —-Bob Ross, The Joy of Painting !!  Bob’s gentle voice and calming painting techniques do wonders for my DH...
Rescue mom
Posted: Saturday, August 17, 2019 12:03 PM
Joined: 10/12/2018
Posts: 897


my DH likes watching horse races and other horse events (jumping, dressage etc). He never knew or cared about horses before, but I think it’s easy to “follow” and over in less than 5 minutes. We have some obscure cable channel that shows these a lot.

He also likes car racing (Grand Price and Formula 1, not stock cars) but for very short periods. And that is something he followed before AD.


ElaineD
Posted: Saturday, August 17, 2019 12:07 PM
Joined: 4/12/2019
Posts: 142


DH with MCI watches old sitcoms like Andy Griffith, MASH, Cheers, and endless NCIS and he can watch the same episodes over and over.  Then he watches cable news (which reinforces his strong political beliefs).

NOW I understand!  The sitcoms are soothing and familiar, and he loves the constant reinforcement of his point of view on cable 'news' (there is no real news, just constant comments).

Until he got wireless headphones, I was beginning to 'lip synch' the sitcoms when I was in the same room.  I had heard them so many times!  And the endless outraged babble on cable news gave me a headache.  But now I have blissful silence.

His ability to remember appointments is worse and worse.  And the "what box?" when, in my absence, he has opened an Amazon box sitting empty right in front him.  And he 'puts away' things that came in the box and doesn't remember what came or where he put them.

And more and more he says "I don't remember" rather than defensively creating an angry smoke screen to hide the fact that he doesn't remember.

It is still hard for me to sit while he 'tells a story' and gets the facts all mixed up or conflates two events with the wrong time line.   He needs to do this, and who cares if other people don't get the right information.  They probably don't listen closely or care.

Recently, in company, he attributed my grandmother's desk to his family! He had completely forgotten the provenance of a piece of furniture we've had since 1974 .  But I didn't act surprised, or comment on the memory lapse.

And the temperament change, from constantly angry which he was for 80 years!  to much calmer and pleasant, which started in May, around his 80th birthday, continues.  Thank goodness.

He still has episodes of loss of social filter in public events.  He elicits disapproval from the other residents here, but there's nothing I can do.  It usually happens when I'm not there, and I hear about it later.

Otherwise, he is so much easier to live with, memory lapses and all.

ElaineD