RSS Feed Print
Agency Caregiver Quit because mom is “negative”
Posted: Tuesday, November 19, 2019 8:05 PM
Joined: 8/1/2019
Posts: 7

Seriously?  She’s 83 and has dementia. She’s nervous and scared because she realizes she doesn’t remember things.  She doesn’t understand why she needs people to come to the house.  I can’t believe that the majority of the people they care for are the happy smiling people in their ironed button down shirt and cardigan sweater in the commercials.
Posted: Tuesday, November 19, 2019 8:47 PM
Joined: 6/12/2016
Posts: 729

Hi Sabrend, The agency caregiver must live in LaLa Land! I’m sorry that happened. Apparently this particular caregiver was not well trained in dementia care. Those  commercials make my head want to burst.

I hope you can find a good replacement caregiver. Good luck!

Posted: Tuesday, November 19, 2019 8:49 PM
Joined: 1/28/2013
Posts: 2624

Yeah, I'm thinking she really picked the wrong line of eork.  You might have dodged a bullet there because she clearly doesn't know what she is doing.
Posted: Wednesday, November 20, 2019 4:47 AM
Joined: 3/6/2017
Posts: 1944

I am so sorry. 

My dear friend had a wonderful agency caregiver who would engage her mom in baking and a little light housekeeping (mom loved to Swiffer), who managed to get mom showered and her hair styled and even spoke mom's mother tongue. It was great until her mom progressed to late stage 6 and the caregiver asked to be reassigned to someone in an earlier stage of the disease. 


PS And yeah, those commercials. They bug, but I have to admit that my dear late MIL- who did not have dementia- was that gracious smiling little old lady. Lord knows my dad sure wasn't.
Eric L
Posted: Thursday, November 21, 2019 12:16 PM
Joined: 12/5/2014
Posts: 1238

We had to let go of a caregiver around this time last year. At some point, we just realized that we didn't think she was capable of taking care of MIL as her disease advanced. She was a wonderful companion for someone in the earlier stages, but she just didn't have the skill set to take care of someone in the more advanced stages.

That said, I have to believe that most caregivers have the experience to realize that they aren't "wanted". Even on her death bed, if MIL could have had a coherent thought, she would have probably told us that she didn't need help.

Hopefully, you and the agency can find a different caregiver that is more suited to your mother's needs. In our case, we found (the caregiving company and our care manager) a retired LVN whose husband had recently passed because of complications because of dementia. She was amazing and a much better fit than the lady we had before.

I know you are probably upset by this development, but it might be better for you and Mom in the long run..