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Things Not To Do
chrisp1653
Posted: Saturday, July 29, 2017 12:54 PM
Joined: 1/23/2017
Posts: 1219


     I am basically a creature of habits. As of this morning, I found yet another habit that I think I might want to unlearn. When I wake up, usually I will climb out of the bed, sit on the edge for a few moments to decide if I'm really alive or not, then shuffle off to the kitchen and turn on the coffee maker. Next stop, the bathroom, and then in here to the desk where I have the PC and my blood test meter. I check my fasting blood glucose, write the result in my log book, and then usually look at my emails. Sometimes, ( like today , ) I bring  up Alzconnected and look to see what's been posted overnight. Understand, please, that my coffeemaker is still doing the gurgle burble thing. Today I noticed a little " 1 " up next to connections. Oh really. Guess I better look. Click connections. I see my 3 connections. What's up ? Oh yes ! I have to click the invitations button. I clicked, saw a name I didn't recognize, and clicked on it. Now I have 4 connections. Great. Hmm... what's that blue button underneath ? Let's click it. Poof ! I'm back to 3 connections. Grrrrrrr. What was that name ? I search for what I think it was, and finally figure out how to invite. Is this how mornings are supposed to be ? Did I invite the right person ? I Hope so.

Mental note to self. Don't click on buttons before morning coffee.

 

Chris


jfkoc
Posted: Saturday, July 29, 2017 2:30 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 18856


lol...and may I suggest do not click on someone who you do not recognize....just wait and watch to see what they post...we do get trolls here and some are here for quite a while before they are discovered...

 


BlueSkies
Posted: Saturday, July 29, 2017 10:58 PM
Joined: 2/24/2016
Posts: 1096


Jfkoc, what would a troll want with a connection?  Just to follow your posts?  I don't get it?  I think I'm missing something.

Chris, I am always doing stuff just like that.  It's so frustrating.  So I know how you feel.  Also, I am no good until I have my coffee either. 


MPSunshine
Posted: Sunday, July 30, 2017 4:58 AM
Joined: 5/21/2016
Posts: 1992


Chris, Personally, before my morning coffee, don't ask me to do anything please.

Judith, Regarding trolls, me thinks I am not afraid of them -- remember they are tiny little dollies with big smiles, cute round bellies and a lot of hair.

Blue Skies, good to see you back!


llee08032
Posted: Sunday, July 30, 2017 7:30 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4405


Many things not to do before having your coffee. There are so many "I don't know what to do's" in life it is always good to deduce what not to do. The process of elimination. 


Blue-I have connection requests from names I don't recognize and I just ignore them. Maybe they wish to sell me a vitamin or cure, steal my identity, or rail me out for something I posted?  I've seen posts on the board promoting cures and vitamins in the past and they get deleted by the moderators. We just never know who's out to take advantage of someone they might perceive as vulnerable. 



BlueSkies
Posted: Sunday, July 30, 2017 9:53 PM
Joined: 2/24/2016
Posts: 1096


First thing I do in the morning is feed my dogs, make my coffee and then relax in my pajamas on the porch and slowly savor my coffee.  It's my favorite time of day.  

Thanks Nadine, good to see you.

llee,  I have accepted a few requests from people then never messaged with them or saw them on the boards.  I always thought it a little weird, but I didn't really think about it too much.  No one has ever sent me an invite to sell me something or to "rail" me yet, thank goodness.  I guess I have been lucky so far.   


Jim Broede
Posted: Friday, August 4, 2017 3:43 AM
Joined: 12/22/2011
Posts: 5462


I'd like to unlearn. Getting too lost. In mundane thoughts. --Jim
Jim Broede
Posted: Friday, August 4, 2017 3:47 AM
Joined: 12/22/2011
Posts: 5462


Also, it would help. Going one week. Without ever thinking of myself. To focus instead. On others. Yes, it's so nice. Having Cristina around. --Jim
Jim Broede
Posted: Friday, August 4, 2017 3:50 AM
Joined: 12/22/2011
Posts: 5462


I'd like to unlearn. Being a total and painful bore. --Jim
chrisp1653
Posted: Friday, August 4, 2017 12:52 PM
Joined: 1/23/2017
Posts: 1219


When you figure it out, Jim, let me know too, will ya ? I can think of more than a few things I'd like to unlearn.

 

Chris


Living Free
Posted: Tuesday, August 15, 2017 4:59 PM
Joined: 8/15/2017
Posts: 4



Living Free
Posted: Tuesday, August 15, 2017 5:01 PM
Joined: 8/15/2017
Posts: 4


Jim Broede wrote:
I'd like to unlearn. Getting too lost. In mundane thoughts. --Jim


Living Free
Posted: Tuesday, August 15, 2017 5:03 PM
Joined: 8/15/2017
Posts: 4


Jim, I'm new here!

Boom!  You nailed it, about unlearning.  Just turned 62, and I'm actively purposefully unlearning


chrisp1653
Posted: Tuesday, August 15, 2017 7:04 PM
Joined: 1/23/2017
Posts: 1219


Just cogitate on the amount of brain space you will open up for other things. I can't imagine any thoughts that will long endure against " actively, purposefully, unlearning."

By the way, Living Free, welcome to the basement.

 

Chris


BlueSkies
Posted: Tuesday, August 15, 2017 9:41 PM
Joined: 2/24/2016
Posts: 1096


Yes Living Free, welcome!
llee08032
Posted: Wednesday, August 23, 2017 7:10 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4405


Do not war with words (explaining is draining)

Do not pay bills before you finish your coffee 

Do not click the submit button twice when paying your bills

Do throw bills in the trash (not)

Do not try to make change at the cash register (you cannot count anymore)

Do not feel guilty when you make mistakes, lose or forget things

Do not feel guilty for not feeling okay

 


Jim Broede
Posted: Wednesday, August 23, 2017 11:31 AM
Joined: 12/22/2011
Posts: 5462


I'm leery of those who want me to feel guilty for not feeling guilty. --Jim
dutiful deb
Posted: Wednesday, August 23, 2017 12:14 PM
Joined: 1/1/2012
Posts: 1884


Do not leave the car idling with the keys in the ignition while getting your mom out of the car.  Someone may just push the "lock" button and shut the door  

Do not show children how to roll down a hill a few weeks after having surgery

Do not use Star Trek, Star Wars, Twilight Zone, Doctor Who, or other such references when talking to people who have never seen those shows. They will look at you like you have two heads

I may or may not have personal experiences with all of the above scenarios...."sigh". 


jfkoc
Posted: Wednesday, August 23, 2017 1:21 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 18856


My comment re trolls was if reference to connections. This is a public forum. Anyone can join. Anyone can invite you and establish a relationship  where you may give out identifying information such as your email, telephone number even address.

You would be surprised what info can be put together just from the posts. That is why it is always suggested to be careful.

Now specifically as to a troll and yes we have had them. Some come and go rapidly while others remain for some time. 

"Someone who posts inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as a forum, chat room, or blog, with the primary intent of provoking readers into an emotional response or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion.”


chrisp1653
Posted: Wednesday, August 23, 2017 1:38 PM
Joined: 1/23/2017
Posts: 1219


So, jfkoc, I will assume that showing kids how t' roll down a hill  does not qualify. Sorry. I couldn't resist.
jfkoc
Posted: Wednesday, August 23, 2017 2:17 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 18856


Glad you couldn't...lol
dutiful deb
Posted: Thursday, August 24, 2017 1:02 AM
Joined: 1/1/2012
Posts: 1884


I have had a rather stressful couple of weeks, and my list of "what not to do" was my attempt at poking humor at myself. Sorry for the confusion   I really did have the experience of taking my mom to an appointment last week, where the keys were locked in the car. 

My hill-rolling was a few years ago, when working with children and learning that they had never heard of such a thing. When I shared with them that as a child, my friends and I thought it was great fun, they asked me to teach them, so I did. Unfortunately, I was still recovering from a surgery I'd had to remove a tumor from one of my kidneys, and the next day (and the day after, as I recall) I paid dearly for my "adventure".  

I appreciate reading the definition of a troll. I occurred to me that they exist not only in online forums, but in life outside the computer, as well. Some of the most deeply troubling experiences I've had as a carer for my mom has been the result of cruel people who were disguised as do-gooders. Wolves in sheep's clothing. Reading the positive messages here has helped me put aside the feelings of anger and hurt and betrayal that has resulted from such people and situations. I am reminded that there are good people in the world who know how to demonstrate the level of compassion and empathy that is so needed in our lives. 

 


chrisp1653
Posted: Thursday, August 24, 2017 2:43 AM
Joined: 1/23/2017
Posts: 1219


Deb, I'm sorry to hear about your hard times, because I suspect that you haven't just been having some stressful times, but that you have really been having some STRESSFUL times !

All the episodes you wrote about are the kind that hopefully we can laugh about later, but they sure as heck ain't funny when they're happening to us.

So let me add another thing not to do. Don't crank a car over when it's in gear. This happened to me about 20 years ago when I was working on an old Dodge van. I had the engine cover off, and I was standing on the ground leaning in through the open door doing something to the engine. Stop laughing ! This was not funny when it happened ! ( Forgive me please... I have to wait til I finish having hysterics.) Anyway, I needed to start the engine, and this old clunker was a " 3 on the tree " gear shifter , and it was in reverse. Oh my ! Lurch, lurch, and then it's running, and so am I, as it backs out into the street. Not a fun thing to have happen.

So many different outcomes that might have happened, but here I am writing and being a caregiver, so you know that what did happen is that I got the van turned off and got it back where it belonged. All without any damage to me, except for my pride.

Hooowee, look at the time ! Bed's a'callin'.


llee08032
Posted: Thursday, August 24, 2017 4:41 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4405


Don't yell at someone yelling at you in a crowded parking lot"I have dementia. What's your excuse?"



MPSunshine
Posted: Thursday, August 24, 2017 5:29 AM
Joined: 5/21/2016
Posts: 1992


Judith -- I agree. There are bad people out there who sometimes float in and make a comment it it is hurtful. Sometimes it is not a troll, or a bad person, it is just a regular person but they happen to land here when they are in a very bad place, and they put it out on these forums and it is hurtful to others. I will try not to ever be that person but I'm sure I've offended one or two people down the road. I have an objection to the persons who get pleasure out of offending or hurting others.

 

Regarding things not to do. I liked Ilee's "do not war with words, explaining is draining." I've stopped arguing. I am now trying to just agree with what they say and pretend I'm on an improv comedy team and I just have to kind of fly with it. This goes against my nature, but maybe my nature is becoming more flexible. Maybe this experience is changing me in good ways too. Maybe. Not completely counting on it yet, but just maybe. Or maybe not. Possibly I will never know.
Jim Broede
Posted: Thursday, August 24, 2017 11:48 AM
Joined: 12/22/2011
Posts: 5462


Trying to communicate. With  another being. Can be dangerous. But also very rewarding. Very fulfilling. There’ always the risk. Of offending. Unintentionally. Saying too much. Or too little. Of being misinterpreted. Sometimes, I find myself not listening. Yes, an unforgivable sin. The more I listen, the more I understand. I learn the most when I keep my mouth closed. And ponder inwardly. I’m still learning. The art of communicating with others.  For that, I need forever. --Jim

 


llee08032
Posted: Friday, August 25, 2017 7:17 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4405


Do not try to change a fixed belief of another who is not open to your ideas.



jfkoc
Posted: Friday, August 25, 2017 10:46 AM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 18856


Never listen for the purpose of a response;  listen to learn.
Jim Broede
Posted: Friday, August 25, 2017 10:46 AM
Joined: 12/22/2011
Posts: 5462


I try to be open to other ideas. That's all I can do. Believe me. It's worth the effort. To try to make me see the other side. I am not a lost cause. There must be others of similar bent. Yes, I'm an optimist. With a flexible mind. --Jim
Jim Broede
Posted: Friday, August 25, 2017 10:48 AM
Joined: 12/22/2011
Posts: 5462


Never say never. --Jim
llee08032
Posted: Saturday, August 26, 2017 9:22 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4405


Do not feel bad for not getting it or understanding another's point (it's not your job to get everything or understand everyone).

Do not stand accused for something you did not do.

Do not be made to feel bad for something you believe in (that's helping you to stay strong).

Do not take everything personal (it's not always about you).

Do not hold grudges (they only hurt you).

Do not spit in the faces of others who have tried to help you even though you feel they didn't help you (they were TRYING to help when they owe you nothing).

Do not start a new job by belittling the people at your old job.




llee08032
Posted: Saturday, August 26, 2017 9:28 AM
Joined: 5/20/2014
Posts: 4405


Don't throw your old friends away (the new ones might not stick around).

Don't mis-manufacture misery and stress.

and last but not least and one of my favorites....

Do not throw the baby out with the bathwater!

Thank you for starting this thread Chrisp.

Should we start a things to do thread now?


jfkoc
Posted: Saturday, August 26, 2017 11:34 AM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 18856


do not say "monster"
JanineM
Posted: Monday, November 26, 2018 9:10 PM
Joined: 11/26/2018
Posts: 10


llee08032,

I like your August 2017 wisdom of things not to do.

Hope you are well!

Janine


JanineM
Posted: Monday, November 26, 2018 9:14 PM
Joined: 11/26/2018
Posts: 10


Hello dutiful deb,

 I love your insight from Aug. 2017 about trolls online as well as onlife...

 Janine