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A good place. For salvation.
Jim Broede
Posted: Tuesday, August 25, 2015 7:08 AM
Joined: 12/22/2011
Posts: 5462


Salvation. Salvation. The small Montana town of Livingstone. That was my salvation. On my visit. To Yellowstone National Park. With Italian amore Cristina and Italian friend Giovanna. Both gals enjoyed Yellowstone immensely. I did, too. But not quite as immensely as Cristina and Giovanna. Instead, Livingstone was my highlight. My delight. My unexpected salvation. If I had been traveling alone, Livingstone would have become my permanent home base. I fell in love. With Livingstone. And some of the other small and quaint towns an hour or so drive. Outside of Yellowstone. A safe distance from the beaten tourist tracks and traps. Give me the relative quiet and peace and solitude of Livingstone. Where many of the downtown buildings still have their 19th century Western American facades. After driving endless miles. In a rental car. And having a near-death experience. In a crash. In Yellowstone. I had a need. To stay in one place. For a day or two or three. Livingstone was my breather. Where I found solace. At the moment, Cristina and Giovanna are back at the lodge. In the swimming pool. Cavorting and splashing. Like mermaids. I am in downtown Livingstone. Happy. Happy. My soul. My sanity. Is being saved. Right here. On the streets. I meet a woman. From San Francisco. A writer. Like me. She's scouting Livingstone. As a place to live out her retirement years. She's not so sure about Montana in the wintertime. I tell her that I solved the winter problem. By spending winters with my amore. In her homeland. Sardinia. Where there's no snow. No freezing temperatures. All winter. Where I sit under palm trees and umbrella pines. Meanwhile, Cristina spends summers. With me. In Minnesota. Giving us the opportunity to explore America. Together. Two years ago, the Grand Canyon. Now Yellowstone. And so much more to come. Opportunities. To find the likes of Livingstone. Where I have tracked to the post office. To mail postcards. For Cristina and Giovanna. I sit on a bench. In front of the post office. Until the rain. Forces me to seek shelter. On another bench. Tucked under the overhang of an interior decoration business. Called Paperairplane Design Co. It's closed. But a half-hour later the owners/proprietors, a husband and wife team. Come by. And we have a casual and friendly chat. Getting to know each other. She's a lifelong resident of Livingstone. He came 20 years ago. Expecting to never leave. We may stay in touch. Forever. That's the way it is. In Livingstone. Where everyone seems to stay acquainted. Yes, a good place. For salvation. --Jim
Marta
Posted: Thursday, August 27, 2015 7:57 AM
Joined: 6/3/2013
Posts: 913


How does this relate to caregiving or dementia?
Jim Broede
Posted: Thursday, August 27, 2015 8:03 PM
Joined: 12/22/2011
Posts: 5462


I encourage care-givers to come to musings, dear Marta. In order to get their minds diverted. To subjects other than care-giving. It's a form of respite. To start thinking about other matters. To recognize that there's more to life than care-giving. Too many care-givers are too consumed by their 24/7 roles. As care-givers. They need breaks. By musing about other things. Mostly happy and positive stuff. You know, there is much to life. So much to muse about. Wonderful stuff. When I was a very active care-giver, I was still in love. With life. I took time out to muse. About a whole lot of things. It was good psychotherapy. Try it. You might like it. And feel a whole lot better. About yourself. About life. About everything. --Jim
sharon11daugherty
Posted: Thursday, August 27, 2015 10:34 PM
Joined: 8/6/2015
Posts: 1736


Think it is...a great idea. I started a story about horses for my blind friend, age 15!
Jim Broede
Posted: Thursday, August 27, 2015 11:38 PM
Joined: 12/22/2011
Posts: 5462


You are setting a fine example for Marta, dear Sharon. By diversifying your thinking. By writing a story. About horses. For a 15-year-old blind friend. Sure, maybe that has nothing to do with care-giving and dementia. But it tells us that you are getting on with life. In a very nice and positive and productive way. It probably makes you a better care-giver for your husband. Because you are trying to live a well-balanced and meaningful life. Together. Keep posting in musings. We need more like you. --Jim
Marta
Posted: Friday, August 28, 2015 10:00 AM
Joined: 6/3/2013
Posts: 913


Dear Jim. All I see is you. Musing about you. Replying to your own musings. Which are not related to dementia or caregiving. On a board that explicitly states it is for musings about those two topics. Which is paid for. By my contributions. Dear Jim.
sharon11daugherty
Posted: Friday, August 28, 2015 10:46 AM
Joined: 8/6/2015
Posts: 1736


I must add, that my DH has been adding to my story, which as Jim has said , takes the focus off ourselves,
My DH and I have an interest that is not about him or I, but something we can enjoy together. Our daily hours together can be separate, even though we are side by side.....but I kind of enjoy making some of those hours with one purpose, working together using the skills that we still have.
Writing for a boy that was born with empty eye sockets, you have to not use common words, color, or adjectives of imagery that you and I are blessed to see everyday.
This is a good thread! I like it.

Jo C.
Posted: Friday, August 28, 2015 12:52 PM
Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 11226


Hello Dear Sharon: There is a difference. You are speaking about a wonderful pursuit that you are sharing as a care partner with your husband who has Alzheimer's Dementia and it is a way of bringing connectiveness to the two of you as well as refocusing and diverting away from the dementia disease process and giving your DH all that comes from that while giving to others.

Marvelous and absolutely belongs on any Forum on this Message Board including this one. It is within the tenets of the inention for this Musings Forum, (intention statement is found on on the main grid with Forum titles), and it is not about focusing only on yourself for your own personal gain.

Your compassion for the young fellow who has no sight is truly a blessing.

J.


skericheri
Posted: Friday, August 28, 2015 6:13 PM
Joined: 12/10/2011
Posts: 287


Sharon---Getting your husband involved in writing the story was a stroke of genius, I'd love to read it when it is done.

Read in one of your posts that you are posting from Australia. The flag that I see in your picture is definitely not Australian...Unless the fold is deceiving...Does not seem to be U.S. Please satisfy my curiosity.

Jim Broede
Posted: Friday, August 28, 2015 7:33 PM
Joined: 12/22/2011
Posts: 5462


Dear Marta. Maybe it's that we look at musings in different ways. For me, it's an art form. A continuous flow of thought. That may last days or weeks or months. Perhaps an endless stream of thought or pondering. I'm not answering my own musing. But rather continuing my musing. Letting it flow. Naturally. I encourage others to do the same. But hey, whatever makes one comfortable. You'd muse in a different way than I. Which is all right. Nothing wrong with personalizing your musings. For instance, you could muse about being a nurse practitioner in internal medicine. And of being married to a physician. With Alzheimer's. And what life is like being married to the same man for 37 years. The happiness it has brought you. Some day I may muse about not only dear Marta, but sweet Marta. If only I knew you better. That's why I'd like you to muse a little bit about yourself. I have a hunch. That you are sweet and endearing. And even open-minded about the art/craft of musing. By the way, I am a financial and moral supporter of the Alzheimer's Association. Just like you. We have something in common. As supporters of a good cause. --Jim
Jim Broede
Posted: Friday, August 28, 2015 11:36 PM
Joined: 12/22/2011
Posts: 5462


I come to musings. Almost daily. To let everyone know there's life after the care-giving experience. For 13 years I was an Alzheimer care-giver. And here I am. Seven years later. Thriving. Happy. Just give it time, dear care-givers. Life gets better. One survives. And learns that life is basically good. Yes, there are bad times. But good times, too. Take heart. Take solace. Have faith. I also learned to enjoy care-giving. To exude good vibes. Yes, right in the midst of care-giving. By musing good thoughts. About life in general. I learned not to complain. That I'd much rather be the care-giver than the Alzheimer-riddled. I've stuck around. On the message boards. For a long, long time. Longer than most of you. To provide a perspective. Of life after care-giving. Believe me, it ain't bad. And I know something else. I'm a better human being. For having gone through it. I am thankful. For the experience. I hope the same applies to some of you. Some day. It's made me more in love. With life. I try to reflect that. In musings. If that's not good enough or right and proper enough for some of you, I'm sorry. --Jim
Jim Broede
Posted: Saturday, August 29, 2015 4:23 AM
Joined: 12/22/2011
Posts: 5462


Another thing. I owe my love story. In part. To Alzheimer's. And to the Alzheimer message board. That's where my Italian amore Cristina and I met. Right here. I was the care-giver for my dear sweet wife Jeanne. And Cristina was caring for her dear Alzheimer-riddled mother. We had something in common. That brought us together. After Jeanne died in January 2008, I went to Venice. And met Cristina in the flesh. The rest is history. A 7-year relationship that started in October 2008. We've traveled together. In many places. The likes of the Italian Alps and Scotland and Iceland. In Canada and the U.S, too. I live with Cristina. In Sardinia. In the winter. She lives with me. In Minnesota. In the summer. She's with me at the moment. Really, I owe a thanks. To the message boards. To the Alzheimer's Association. In a sense, they brought us together. They helped create an on-going love story. Something to muse about. Life after Alzheimer-care-giving. Believe me. It's wonderful. Just what Cristina and I deserve. Each other. May the rest of you become blessed, too. --Jim

Jim Broede
Posted: Sunday, August 30, 2015 7:45 PM
Joined: 12/22/2011
Posts: 5462


When I talk to my care-giver friends, often the subject doesn't focus on care-giving. That's by design. Best to steer on to other aspects of life. The good life. Maybe baseball. Or nature. Even politics will do sometimes. Care-givers tend to be preoccupied with burdensome care-giving. And they should be. To a degree. But they need to digress. To wander away to other topics. Preferably, cheerful stuff. After all, life goes on. And it ain't all bad. Some care-givers need reminders about that. They need respite. Breaks. And that's what I try to give them. I encourage them to muse. About all sorts of things. Not always about care-giving. Yes. Find a balance. Try to become a whole human being. More than a care-giver. --Jim