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Denial(1)
Readyornot
Posted: Monday, September 28, 2015 3:57 PM
Joined: 10/17/2014
Posts: 1


My husbands diagnosis is Dementia of the Altzheimers Type. He has been on namenda and aracept for nearly two years and yet he refuses to believe he has a problem. He says I have a problem. Because of his denial we can't make any financial plans or anything else.. Is denial a part of this?
Crushed
Posted: Monday, September 28, 2015 4:47 PM
Joined: 2/2/2014
Posts: 5636


Absolutely positively yes. Some use fancy names for it. See an elder care lawyer, make sure you know what your rights are. Some people have threatened to file for divorce if they cant get finances straightened out.

elainechem
Posted: Monday, September 28, 2015 5:34 PM
Joined: 7/30/2013
Posts: 6033


It's not really denial. It's a part of the disease called anosognosia. Simply put, their brain disease prevents them from realizing that they have a brain disease. Some 80% of all people with dementia have this.

My husband is like this. He acknowledges that he has some memory problems, but he is unaware of the full extent of his problems. I think it's probably good for him that he doesn't know what's in store for him, but it makes things more difficult for us caregivers.

You just have to find ways to work around it. Your husband will not be able to help you with planning for the future. It really sucks. Do what Crushed said and see an elder care lawyer. You have to be certain that you have a valid durable power of attorney and a healthcare power of attorney for him.

I used the POA to have my husband's name removed from the bank accounts, debit and credit cards, utilities, car titles, you name it. He wasn't bad with with money, but some people with dementia may spend you into bankruptcy without realizing it.

Come back here with more questions. You're bound to have many.

sher-c
Posted: Monday, September 28, 2015 6:25 PM
Joined: 7/31/2014
Posts: 1369


My husband is also in "denial".. Better call Anosognosia. Its a real part of Dementia. Thats the very worst thing to me is the fact we can't talk about it, we can't plan for whats going to happen, I can't even mention the word Dementia or he flies off the handle. I'm the one with the brain problem.

Dementia is bad enough, but to have Anosognosia is AWFUL for us the caregiver, but I suppose ok for the LO. My husband has no idea what a mess we are in . Everything is peachy in his eyes.

Quiltlover
Posted: Monday, September 28, 2015 6:47 PM
Joined: 10/4/2014
Posts: 27


Same problem here. DH admits to having a little memory problem but doesn’t think it is a big problem. We did see an elder care attorney. He agreed because I brought up the problems that could arise in case something should happen to me. For that reason we needed to talk about “things” so we were both on the same page. That is how I have been able to approach discussions. What if something happened to me. I do basically all the planning and cooking of meals, make financial decisions, paperwork and vacation plans including routes we will take which has been a real challenge since I have been lost in every state and city I have ever visited. If I want to discuss this to clarify it in my mind he tells me to just let him know what he has to do and when to be ready. We used to discuss everything and make all decisions together.


Rrickholdpta
Posted: Monday, May 25, 2020 4:32 PM
Joined: 5/25/2020
Posts: 1


I'm desperate for help. My mom is in denial about her newly diagnosed dementia bc she wouldnt allow me at her medical appointments for "fear I would tell them everything " and told the Neuro she doesnt have issues at home. So even after scoring a 15/30 on her last subjective test she was told it was a mild cognitive impairment.
 I've called and spoke to the RN at the neuros office regarding my concerns-->that she is hallucinating, paranoid, still driving, gets lost(gps on both our phones), and I'm worried if she is even taking her meds.

I'm terrified for her appointment, bc she will for sure know I called and I'm fearful of her reaction as we live together. Any support or advice is welcome. Thank you so much!


jfkoc
Posted: Monday, May 25, 2020 7:19 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 18481


Please sen a written report ahead of the appointment. A Dr who specializes in dementia will be grateful and will manage the conversation in such a way that your mother will have no idea of your input.
jdmg1
Posted: Monday, May 25, 2020 8:54 PM
Joined: 4/23/2019
Posts: 377


Yep, that is what they do, they don't have the problem, you have the problem.....you are in the rabbit hole.  We are here for you.
Gthoma
Posted: Monday, May 25, 2020 11:59 PM
Joined: 4/29/2020
Posts: 11


Sounds so much like my life. We're trying to schedule the neurologist appointment just so we can get a complete diagnosis and DW is fightjng it all the way. Says I'm trying to get rid of her so i can be with my (imaginary) girlfriend. After 43 years of marriage, 3 kids, 5 grandkids, that really hurts. Has given  me high blood pressure. I  know to ignore it but emotionally, I'm not quite there yet.