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I helped myself
Posted: Sunday, July 21, 2019 9:48 AM
Joined: 9/12/2013
Posts: 3608

Habib got my healthcare medicare supplement insurance switched with a phone call.

Since he had his revelation that I am not mentally disturbed but brain disease makes me panic etc we have not had one bad day.

I tacked a gorgeous scarf that belonged to his mother onto my bedroom wall and hung a $5 clock.

He is not well and I have done what I could to help him thru his bad days. I am beginning to remember him (although we spoke on phone I lived far away fro 30 years). We laugh a lot and although I need someone to install the curtain rod brackets the house feels much more relaxed.

I have "a garden" (found 3 potted succulents dried up in corner, bringing them back to life). Neighbor gave me her old lawn furniture so I made myself a place (like at home) outside back door with a rug and chair so I can listen to radio.

My house is listed now and my daughter ended up staying longer and shipped me over 20 boxes of "stuff". Boxes come this week - no idea how that will go.

The doctor I visited said she would give me referral to neuro psych but sent me a referral to a psycho therapist.  Not going.

The people they would send me to could not know how environment is what makes me content or anxious. Habib got it. 

Habib is very weak but can still get to grocery store and I make casseroles or soups - and he ON HIS OWN finds the hose left running or the stove left on. He doesn't scold me but tells me "Found the hose on. I turned it off."

I have no awful fear using 5 drops thc oil in 15 drops CBD. No side effects. Cheap.

Not walking as far with dog, but we stroll now. I did my own rehab on hips and ankles, exercise while lying on my bed. Massage out strains myself.

My kids are happy. That is how I know I'm doing good, no one is pushing me to go to some doctor.

Just want to share with my friends here that I am OK with being slower now, OK about selling my house now.

Have place outside to use  watercolors or paint furniture rescued from yard. Both dogs here are having fun and helped us learn to communicate with each other.

Habib knows we are gifting each other the love and concern we could not when we were young.

This was all I wanted, what I thought would make me "happy".  I'm not doing more exams or taking more pills.

Heads up to people who think there is no physical aspect to ALZ. There is often contractures and spasms at the end. The woman who rescued her mom story that inspired me to go with cannabis medicines was able to walk until her last week of life. When I had spasms a few nights ago and was moaning Habib came into my room and started rubbing my legs and feet. It helped and we smiled at each other.

Not controlling him or people, asking for what I need and they find it controlling or not. Not being labeled anything again. I am a person with a brain disorder and doing well.


thinking about people who yell and scream and seem enraged - trapped in that state and driving the ones who loved them away. My guess is they are in PANIC. Also seeing fear on people's faces escalates things (no one in charge/no one will help me = panic that looks and sounds like rage)

Before I divorced or abandoned someone in this state I would try THC drops and if the person began to relax within minutes just look at them with confidence and love and say "I am going to help you through this."

I would find them something to do (some of you find small tasks or activities too much a step down from what you used to do but I find sweeping steps or folding laundry very calming, like rock hunting). Paint a fence. Sort nails and screws. Wash the car. Paint a wall. Work in garden. Go fish, feed the ducks, make a bird house, volunteer at animal shelter or charity thrift store, etc


 I am ready to live out my days here.

love and courage

Posted: Sunday, July 21, 2019 3:23 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 20398

My heart runneth over.........
Iris L.
Posted: Monday, July 22, 2019 3:16 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 17709

Good for you, Alz+!  You are a true Dementia Pioneer!  You discovered what works for you and your brain and your family!

Be careful with the stove.



Jo C.
Posted: Tuesday, July 23, 2019 8:48 AM
Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 12279

Blessings and enlightenment can come unbidden and bring with them a state of grace.  Lovely.



Posted: Tuesday, July 23, 2019 9:04 AM
Joined: 2/22/2017
Posts: 78

Thank you for posting. I love it that you are settling and feeling better in your new home.
Michael Ellenbogen
Posted: Wednesday, July 24, 2019 6:19 AM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 4115

Great update. It will slowly get even better.
Posted: Wednesday, July 24, 2019 1:46 PM
Joined: 1/28/2013
Posts: 2660

I'm so glad you gave us this update.  I say, whatever gets us through life is the right thing to do.

I have a really crazy suggestion, but bear me out.  I was in my psychiatric NP's waiting room (because that is what it takes to get me through life) and I was reading an article in WebMD about the health benefits of hugging.  Just a simple hug once a day or as often as you want to.  I immddiately suggested to my mate that we make a point of hugging once a day rather than when one of us is leaving to go somewhere.  Because how sad is it to not hug when you have someone right there with you?  There will come a day when one of us is gone and there will be no one who wants to hug us.

I started then to think about you and Habib and how a daily hug might make things go much more smoothly between the two of you.  And here you are saying that you can show each other love in ways you couldn't when you were younger.  I know it would be good for his health, and it might be for you as well.  It's a thought.

I am so glad to hear you are well.

Posted: Wednesday, July 24, 2019 2:44 PM
Joined: 9/12/2013
Posts: 3608

thank you ALL for believing in things getting better when I couldn't.

my daughter sent me 30 boxes of stuff UPS. First 10 boxes or so come today. No idea what I will do with stuff, or what stuff could be.



This has helped both of us here. If either of us try to do a few things at once it is too stressful and doesn't work.

We talked about how when we are doing one thing at a time everything flows and is easier. Besides worrying about having to do something, also doing too much, or doing something important while distracted is also more often to result in something dangerous and/or broken stuff.

love and courage

Iris L.
Posted: Wednesday, July 24, 2019 5:07 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 17709

Unforgiven wrote:

  Just a simple hug once a day or as often as you want to.  I immddiately suggested to my mate that we make a point of hugging once a day rather than when one of us is leaving to go somewhere.  


In my younger years I learned about the Sex Diet.  Whenever you have a craving for a treat, "reach for your mate instead of your plate!"  Try it, it works!