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I miss my mom(1)
Posted: Friday, July 16, 2021 7:38 AM
Joined: 11/22/2020
Posts: 84

It hasn’t quite been six months since mom left. Since she left, I packed and sold two houses, mine and hers. I take care of my dad- we all moved cross country from California to Tennessee. I so wish I could just pick up the phone and talk to her. Or just give her a hug and hear her voice. Some days I do ok, other days I just weep. With mom passing so fast, I still struggle a lot of days with the “why?”.  Like, this is really it. She isn’t here any more.
Posted: Friday, July 16, 2021 11:16 PM
Joined: 2/16/2017
Posts: 1771

Dar Tross,

You got a lot done in 6 months, you were pretty busy. You were so busy you probably did not take the time to really feel the loss of your Mother. Now is the time for grief and that is good. It needs to happen. Your Mom will be with you always in thought and spirit. Take Care of Yourself. Hugs Zetta  

Posted: Wednesday, July 21, 2021 1:52 PM
Joined: 5/11/2021
Posts: 31

I am so very sorry for your loss.  It sounds like your mom was diagnosed and then didn't live much longer, is that correct?  Losing our mom is unbearable, but no wonder you are struggling since she left quickly and you have been so busy selling homes and moving! 

Grief comes and goes and hits you when you least expect it.  Please give yourself some grace and sit with the feelings when they come. You have been through SO MANY life changes! We all grieve in different ways, so I am not trying to tell you what to do. 

I teared up the other day at the grocery store when I saw the Lorna Doone cookies on the shelf (mom's favorite). Mom passed away in June of 2020. 

I hope you keep coming here.  We need to support each other!

Posted: Saturday, July 24, 2021 7:01 AM
Joined: 11/22/2020
Posts: 84

Hi Zetta and Amy, 

Zetta- I do think so much was going on that I am just starting to really process losing mom. I asked my primary for a therapy referral. 


Yes, mom “fell ill” Oct 15, 2020, diagnosed by Dec and then we lost her Feb 25th. While Alz is generally slow- I think she had it far longer than we all knew. I can look back and see signs now. I believe the Vascular Dementia portion was what took her so fast. 

Posted: Tuesday, July 27, 2021 8:56 AM
Joined: 6/28/2014
Posts: 11

A quote that has helped me: "Life brings tears, smiles and memories. Tears dry, smiles fade, but memories last forever."  Cherish your memories.
Posted: Friday, July 30, 2021 1:09 PM
Joined: 4/1/2014
Posts: 5213

Your grief is still strong. You have been so busy-but the grief can sneak up and really hurt at times. It'll be 2 years in October since my mother died but I miss her everyday and feel the loss deeply. I wouldn't want it any other way. She is always with me in spirit and that brings me comfort.  One day you may also feel that special peace of knowing she is really always with you. Take care!
Posted: Friday, August 13, 2021 11:52 AM
Joined: 5/11/2021
Posts: 31


Checking in and wondering how you are doing.  Do you feel settled in your new home?  I hope you are getting time to take care of yourself!

Space within
Posted: Monday, September 27, 2021 9:19 PM
Joined: 10/7/2018
Posts: 92

Dear Tross,

  I am sad to hear of your loss. I  am sending you thoughts and prayers. Someone told me "it's always hard losing a parent."   It is such a common sense statement-right?  When would we really be okay with syaing goodbye to a LO,?    

Being busy, moving, packing up belongings, being in a new place could have been distracting or just taking up the time to grieve.   From what I have heard, and believe, grieving comes in waves and is different for each of us.   My mom passed on the 16th and was diagnosed back in 2011/12. I will probably miss her until the day we reunite. I feel she is at peace and I know she is with me in spirit. I see her smiling, laughing and healthy.

A few years ago, I started reading books on grief and grieving. It has helped me tremendously. I will be going back to the library to borrow those books again very soon.

 I wish for you a loving space to grieve your mom whenever the waves arrive.

 It's normal to miss her. May the  loving memories of times spent together comfort you.  Be easy with yourself. Take care. 

Retired gopher- thank you for sharing the beautiful quote 

Posted: Sunday, December 5, 2021 10:00 PM
Joined: 11/22/2020
Posts: 84

Checking back in. Has been over a year since mom “suddenly fell ill” Thanksgiving was rough- Christmas seems to be hitting me in waves. I wish I could fast forward through all the “firsts”, but alas- here I am. Taking care of dad. We moved cross country, which is a god send. We have our new places and lives and it is so much less anxiety. I am raising chickens for eggs as a hobby. My special needs son is so comfortable here. Work is busy… but for the most part I love our new path. Those days hit so hard out of nowhere though when I Kia mama. Her sister passed seven months to the day of her. Their eldest sister is now alone. It is sad. Dad mourns mom and doesn’t take great care of himself. Some days are ok- others are not.
Posted: Saturday, January 22, 2022 9:48 PM
Joined: 11/27/2012
Posts: 12

I haven't been following you situation, but I have bad news.   Missing your mom with not get easier.  I miss my mother more and more every day.  In 65, last July I broke my hip quite severely and I want my Mommy.  I may have said that to the doctors and nurses.  I had never been a patient in a hospital in life until then.  If you have children or other relatives, hold them close.  I have neither.