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Ho, Ho, Hum
Posted: Wednesday, January 4, 2012 12:37 PM
Joined: 12/5/2011
Posts: 126

Hope everyone had as nice a Christmas and New Year as possible. I enjoyed reading some of the posts of events of that day.  The candy one was so close to home. Husband decided to bestow a blessing on me and made a mess all over himnself and the bathroom. Why does it always, always happen after the HHA has left?


Have not been on for awhile because to be honest just felt too disgusted and worn down to even want to think or type and fingers are sore.


I did manage to get a few light strung on our railings outside and a few docorations inside. I just had to put somethng up. But I didn't have the strength to brign the tree up from the basement, even though it comes in 3 sections. So I put one of our ceramic trees on the TV and the bigger one on the sun porch where our big tree

 always goes. Good enough.


I got punched in the stomach, so to speak, when I got our quarterly report on the Reit we have. My lawyer, and even an arbitrator for Finra said to wait until end of year when they re-appraise their properties. I felt so uneasy about it but listened to the ones who should know. Well, we just lost $100,000. That is a lot of money. I'm thinking about suing the financial advisor who got us into this investment. All the lies he told us. But how do I prove it? It's his word against mine. Now with their 40% penalty to withdraw money, they might as well keep everything. Now those that told me to wait are saying I get a quartely dividend. Yeah, great. That would

not even come close to paying for a month at an inexpensive  ALF if the time ever comes for the husband. My husband had already been diagnosed as having Alz. before this advisor talked us into getting into this thing. And I didn't know anything because up until about 2 yrs. previous husband never discussed anything with me.


Then 5days before Christmas our 16 yr. old cat,Peaches, who has arthritis very bad and also mega colon got bound up again. Had to take her to critical care vet for 2 days. She had to have an enema to get her cleaned out. She is on meds for that and 2 pain meds for the arthritis. Then Christmas eve had to take her back because she was not eating. They did manage to get her to eat a little. They said to try to get her to eat at least something. Cats can't go for long without food or it affects the liver. Then I had to go to ER. The receptionist saw my fingers and said one looked infected. They kept Peaches for me while I went. They have a prompt care and I was taken right away.


I had contact dermatitis and fingers were so sore and raw I didn't feel like doing much of anything. I still have it but not as bad. Still have not been able to figure out what is causing it. I haven't changed anything I have been using. Great, type changed and I can't get it to stay the way it was.

Didn't feel like fussing with a big meal on Christmas so I bought Cornish game hens. I made the stuffing on the stove. Got chicken broth and cooked the onions and celery i n the broth until done adding my seasoning.Then dumped the bag of  stuffing in and  let it sit few minutes. Since I hate to cook, I was surprised at how good it turned out. Tasted almost like it came out of a turkey.Husband who has not been eating a lot lately surprised me and ate the whole hen, plus stuffing and other vegetables. I was busy giving Peaches some of mine, she loves chicken.

Guess that got her going and she is eating now.

Then New Year's evening husband decided to have one of his temper tantrums as I call them. Wanted his hat and coat so he could go home. The meds did not work, and I could not get him redirected  to anything else. I was up almost the whole night. I called the 800 number and all I was told to do was call 911 and have him taken to hospital for evaluation. I tried to explain our hospital does not do that. Tried that couple years ago and was given presciptions for 2 meds. Before I got them filled called his neurologist and he said don't give them to him. He was rather upset at what hospita; prescibed. I tried staying up until aid came at 8 am but the cat was getting scared by husbands loud talking.I finally at 5:45 am took her in my bedroom and laid on bed. I fell asleep and aid woke me up that

 husband had fallen and hand swollen up. When I got up there were couple Christmas decorations that husband had broken.


So off to the ER we go. Spent a good part of the day there. They were busy from all the New Year's day partiers. Husband had broken middle finger on left hand and badly spained thumb. He did this 2 yrs. ago on Dec. 30. I asked him if this was his way of celebrating New Year's. They put splint on finger and wrapped his thumb. I told them to wrap everything good because he will pull things off. They did a good job or so I thought. Got up next morning and everything on the floor. Tried putting splint back on but every time I tried he hollered. Hospital gave me name of orthopedic doctor to go to. Called up to make an appointment andn turns out he's a plastic surgeon. What next. Decided to call group I go to but can't get in until next week. Sent splint to daycare today and nurse there was able to put it on. But he will pull if off again.


At this time I am more worried about Peaches than husband. Don't take that the worng way. But it is so hard to decide what to do for her. Our other cat last year I knew. He had intestinal lymphoma and you knew when the time came. She is pretty good other than the arthritis being the biggestproblem. I don''t want her to suffer needlessly but don't know if it's that time yet. What is also sad is Peaches used to be more husband's little girl. Our other cat was Mommy's big boy. He was part Siamese and very vocal. Would follow me all over the house. I still miss him so much. Husband doesn't pay much attention to Peaches anymore. So I am making up for it.


For those that remember me complaing about the lady next door with her 9 labs, they are still barking and barking. I did get one of those bark control devices, even has a remote control device but it doesn't do any good. She knows it's there and lets the dogs out even more. I have nothing against dogs. In  fact always had them all through grammar and high schools and beyond but we never let them bark like she lets hers. Can't even open windows on that side of the house which happen to be our bedrooms in the summer because her yard is nothing but dirt ffrom dogs running around and it comes in our house. I kept wondering why bathtub and window sills always had dirt on them. Thought at first it was from the lawn maintainace people. But then I said they're not here every day. Boy, she is one snippy person. If I even try to talk to her all she does is yell shut up at me. So I stopped trying to quite awhile ago. It's 2 or 3 dogs out then about 10 or 15 min. later another 2 or 3 and so on all day long. She knows my husband has Alz. and the barking annoys us so she does it all the more. Nice neighbor.


Everything seems to be changing. This website, my mail account, a website I'm on for pets and another one may be changing., What is going on? So many changes. I didn't notice but the type went back and I didn't do anything. I must be loosing my marbles.


Happy New Year.




Cheryle Gardiner
Posted: Wednesday, January 4, 2012 1:53 PM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 529

Oh, Fluffy, I have absolutely NO advice, but am sending you all the (((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))) you can use! When they're gone, just let me know and I'll fill it up again!

I don't think you're in a good place to decide about Peaches, so I would definitely get the vet's opinion before you do anything!



Posted: Wednesday, January 4, 2012 2:53 PM
Joined: 12/10/2011
Posts: 338

glad to see you here! You certainly have had a stressful time I hope that you get some rest soon. Sometimes (more than often) we just can't catch a break..take care of you.
Posted: Wednesday, January 4, 2012 3:03 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 701

((((Fluffy))))!!!  Sending prayers, hugs and good thoughts your way!!  I know that it is tough to evaluate your kitty's quality of life--You will have to decide whether Peaches' is in so much pain that she has no quality of life left. 


Perhaps you should have the financial advisor and arbitrator put to sleep instead of the cat.  I can't imagine that there isn't some way to have that fund checked out--maybe there is a government organization that is a type of watchdog for that...


When Mom dislocated her shoulder and kept taking off her brace and would dislocate the shoulder again.  I finally had to use duct tape around the brace to keep it on.  It worked great.  Of course I had to cut the tape off when we needed to bathe Mom but then I just used more tape to put it back on.  Not pretty but effective.


In our little town (291 people) there is an ordinance about how many dogs people can have.  Unless you operate a licensed kennel you can only have two or three dogs.  There is also a noise ordinance.  Call your local law enforcement agency and see if there isn't something like that on the books.  If so, call the lady and tell her that your husband is ill and the barking and dirt are making it difficult for you both.  Explain the ordinances to her and ask her to please be considerate with her dogs, if she gets mad or doesn't try to work with you--turn her in.  Just keep calling the police whenever there is a problem, that's their job.  If it gets to be a pain for her or for the police then maybe she will have get rid of some pooches.


All these things are going to make more work for you to start with and I can tell that you are about at the end of your rope, but hopefully they could make life easier in the long run.

Because she's my mom!
Posted: Wednesday, January 4, 2012 4:17 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 737


I am so, so sorry that you are having all these  things going on:, not only you and your husband's health issues, but financial issues as well.


I am not a financial expert by any means, and I don't know you and your husband's ages, BUT...if your "financial adviser" put you into an investment that was just plain inappropriate for your situation and age, I believe you can sue him. REITs are very high risk, and unless you are a young investor with extra $$$ to play with, a person should not be investing in them. Shame on him (or her) for telling you to invest your money in a REIT!!!! And from what I have learned, no more than 5% of your total portfolio should be invested in a REIT.

BTW, Financial Advisor is just a fancy name for "salesman". The only true, non-biased financial advice you will ever receive is if you pay (usually by the hour) for the advice of a Certified and Registered Financial Planner who does NOT receive any money any of the products (mutual funds, CDs, bonds, REITS, etc) he recommends. In other words, he doesn't sell stocks, mutual funds, REITS, Insurance, Annuities of any kind,or anything else except his advice.

It's amazing what I have had to learn when I became my mom's financial and medical DPOA.

Posted: Thursday, January 5, 2012 1:50 PM
Joined: 12/5/2011
Posts: 126

Thanksall for your replies.


Cheryl - I don't think the vet wantsw to actually say. Guess he doesn't want someone to come back at him later and say you told me to do that. Although Peaches sleeps under the bred most of the time or in the closet she still has a good appetite. I go in room and she has this little squack she gives me. It's just not knowing how much pain she's in. They can't tell you. But as cats get older they do sleep a lot anyway.It's possible she was born with some underlying problem. She never ran like a normal cat but more or less hopped like a rabbit. Cats are so good at hiding their problems.

I have one more thing to try for her. Laser therapy. Have been reading a lot about it on websites. They claim it is very good at reducing inflammation. She has already had stem cell treatments but they didn't help all that much.


Hi Cowboys - Nice to know your glad to see me back. Seems a lot of people from thenold site didn't come over. So many new names. It seems strange. Seems to me this site is more geared up to the younger ones. My limited knowledge of computers, I can't figure everything out.


Hello Pat - Did I get a chuckle about putting the advisor and arbitrator to sleep. Great idea.

Our town does not have anything in the ordinances about the number of dogs you can have. It does have a noise ordinance but the police have to hear the noise 3 times before anything can be done about it. Since the next town over from us handles the dispatching for our police dept. by the time they get here she has taken the dogs inside. So I have been making tape recordings of the noise. Even when she's at work the dogs are in the house barking and barking.

Back in June we had windows ooen and dogs outside just barking. Few times I yelled quiet. I mean after 20 min. have had enough. Even husband who's hearing is bad hears them. Well, she hauled me into to court for harassment. The judge had a hard time not to laugh at her but he did tell her that taking care of someone with Alz. is not an easy job. She knew darn well before that that my husband has Alz. I have told her several times. So now it is my turn. Armed the the ordinaces about noise and also the one about lights Ishe has all these spotlights that shine onn our house) I can take her to court or at least to the nborough council and tell them to enforce their ordinances. I have lived in this house all my life. Was my parents. Never had trouble with any of the neighbors but it always takes just one.

Nurse at daycare put splint back on yesterday. It's off again.


Hello Because - I felt like crying when I read what you said about no more than 5%. I would say about 75% of our money is in this darn thing. I had never heard of Reit's before. We went into in 2005. The rules then were once a year during open enrollment you could sell your share at 90% their value. I figure if you were getting dividends it could offset the 10%. I don't know. I'm feeling very stupid right now from what I have learned. Since it  is a privately held Reit they can change the rules whenever they want. About three years ago they change the penalty to 40%.

I possibly have a valid suit against him. But since the lawyers want 1/3 of whaqtb you get I am wondering if it is worth it. All the aggravation of going to arbitration plus the aggravation I'm having with husband. He was diagnosed end of 02 or early 03. As for our ages hubby will be 95 next week and I just turn 65. Married 39 yrs.

I have always told anyone I don't want to loose principal and I need access to money because of husband's condition. I figured we had enough in sav. acct. to last a year until the open enrollment. Should have just put money in CD's. No they don't keep up with inflation but at least you don't loose it either.

I have a little moeny from and inheritance that I can access but I was planning on that being there for me in the future to live off. Now if I have to ever place husband I will have to go into that.

I like the way the elder care lawyer put it to me. Just pay for your husband's care. After all how long do you think he's going to live? Excuse me, but how does anyone know. The only thing wrong with hubby is his Alz. Example, most of my Aunt's lived to be in their mid to upper 90's., 96, 97, 99, my Mon was 94. So how does anyone know. I thought that was quite insensitive.

This advisor always came to our house. Looking back I can see why.He did little things to make you feel he was looking out for you. He even set up my computer when I first got it. Boy was I taken in. He knew he had someone that was trusting of other people (not anymore) and one he could push anything over on because I didn't know a lot about investments. Live and learn I guess.

Because she's my mom!
Posted: Thursday, January 5, 2012 3:01 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 737


It breaks my heart to read your post. 

For what it's worth, on the financial side, I too learned the hard way when I listened to a financial advisor and invested into some closed-end funds in the past ten years, and have lost 70% of that investment! That is when I learned the truth about financial "advisors".  


I pray things wil get better for you. I know how difficult it is for me, emotionally, with my mom.  I can only imagine how much more challenging and heartbreaking it is when your spouse suffers from AD.

Hugs to you, Fluffy.


Posted: Thursday, January 5, 2012 3:43 PM
Joined: 12/16/2011
Posts: 393


 I, too, am glad to see you here. What a time you have had! For that, I am so sorry.

Hugs to you,


Posted: Thursday, January 5, 2012 4:41 PM
Joined: 11/29/2011
Posts: 799

Oh Fluffy, I was worried about you because I hadn't seen your name here, was hoping you would make it over.  I'm sorry you are having such a hard time.


I wish I had advice, but I don't.  Just great big hugs.  I sure do hope 2012 shapes up to be a much BETTER year for you.

Posted: Friday, January 6, 2012 2:54 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 19848

Sorry the bark stopper did not work. Do check to see how many dogs one can have. If they have more quietly take pics to document how many they have.
Cheryle Gardiner
Posted: Friday, January 6, 2012 6:53 PM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 529

Fluffy, I'm going to advise you to proceed cautiously with your neighbor. We had a similar situation a few years ago that ended up costing us almost $15,000 in legal fees. We "won," but it was an expensive win. These neighbors absolutely didn't care that they alienated the entire neighborhood (even now, no one speaks to them), that they had the police called on them for blocking our access to our home and for spraying me with pepper spray - I could go on.

They constructed an 18' fence between our properties and covered it (on our side) with "No trespassing" and "Keep Out" signs, which was in clear violation of county code, but the county wouldn't enforce it because of lack of money to do so. We also had cameras pointed into our back yard and toward the bedroom side of our house. It was a miserable two years. Some people really don't care how far they go to be offensive, and it can be expensive to fight it. She even blasted loud music toward our backyard the day Jim & I got married - in our backyard!

I'd try to ask for mediation first. We were offered it, but they wouldn't agree. Frankly, though, I would tread very carefully.
Posted: Saturday, January 7, 2012 2:43 PM
Joined: 12/5/2011
Posts: 126

Hi jfkoc - I'm sorry too that the bark stopper didn't work. I guess I was wrong to get my hopes up.


Our town  does not have anything inthe ordinances about the number of dogs. They have everything else but that. I even asked at borough hall and they said there was nothing on the books only pertaining to kennels. They aren't allowed. They even require you to get licenses for your cats even though they are strictly indoor cats. Just another way to make money.


Hi Cheryl - I'm sorry you had so much trouble with your neighbors.

My neighbor is in her mid 40's but I really think there is something wrong with her, at least in her way of thinking. She moved her 10 yrs. ago with one dog that barked enough but was not that much of a problem. She is a bartender i  some go-go club in another town. Most of the time wshe works nights. She is divorced and since moving here is on her 6th live-in boyfriend. She jogs every day to keep her youthful figure. Sometimes I wonder if she is part of the attraction at the club the way she dresses. But that is none of my business. What is, is the harm she is doing to us. We do not live on acre of land. Our lots are mainly 50x100. Our bedrooms are 3 ft. from the property line. It is turning into a health issue. The barking is getting on our nerves and I don't need the dirt her dogs kick up coming into my house.


She wasn't that bad until she got in with this present boyfriend. In the summer she was out in the yard at 4 am yelling at the dogs, talking loud to boyfriend and everything she could do to annoy us. Even though she knows my husband has Alz.


When you can't have your windows open because of the noise, the dirt or the spotlights shining in your face when your in bed then enough is enough.


The ordinances about noise state about dogs barking, yelping. whining, etc. is not allowed. Also lights shall not be directed to shine into another persons house.

Since I don't talk to her anymore or I get told to shut up, I sent her a copy of ordinance about lights. I wrote It's up to you, sign ed my name and mailed it to her. Lights were off for awhile but are back on. Two sides of our house are lit up.

They shine in 4 of our 5 bedrooms. Only one not affected os upstairs and hubby can't go up steps anymore.


She has a circular 2 tier windchime that makes a lot of noise. Used to have it on the shed and didn't get too much breeze. Well she put a shepherd's hook just on her side of the line and hung the windchime there. Boy does it make a racket now.


Ordinances also state thaqt people be allowed to live in and enjoy their homes without interference from outside.


I am not one to start a fight but will not back down if I feel I am right and have my husbands well being to think of. I am not going to let her drive me out of the home I have lived in all my life.


I have recordings of the dogs barking and her yelling at them at 4 am. Too bad I didn't have recorder going when she told me not to call police again or I wouldn't be around to do it again. That was a threat. I think she has flipped. She never used to be like this. I have my rights too. I;m sure if I did same to her she be at police station complaining.


Sorry for the length, I just got going. It is affecting so much of my life.

Posted: Saturday, January 7, 2012 3:08 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 3707



Glad you are here again.


With all the stress with your finances and your husband's condition, it is too bad about this neighbor adding on more.


Are the dogs at least quiet at night?  It is possible to wear earplugs and try to ignore the barking?  I know this isn't a good answer.  It troubles me that you have so very much on your plate.


I prayed for you that God will give you wisdom.   Veronica

Posted: Saturday, January 7, 2012 3:42 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 701

Fluffy--Been thinking about you and hoping that you are having a good day...I think that your idea about the tape recorder is a great one!!  Just be sure to tape every time you have any contact with the neighbor.  Wouldn't hurt to let her know that you are taping and ask again for her help in keeping your neighborhood more peaceful.  If she is uncooperative then let her know that you will be turning the tapes over to the authorities. 


I wish that the problem would just go away for you!!  It is so difficult to get the energy to do anything when so much is piled on your plate!!  Does the HHA spend enough time there for you to get some rest?


Sending more prayers your way!!

Cheryle Gardiner
Posted: Saturday, January 7, 2012 6:24 PM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 529

Fluffy, I hear you about the frustration, but I would still caution you.

Our neighbors were friends we had gone camping with. His wife got mad because we parked our 5th wheel next to our house on their side. They have no windows on that side, but she didn't like it.

I had recordings as well, and their attorney threatened me with a Federal privacy lawsuit because I hadn't told her I was recording her threatening me, and she didn't shout it loudly enough to be heard more than 12' away. My lawyer told me they would probably win it. Her husband hit my husband on 3 separate occasions, once knocking him to the ground. This guy is 10 years younger than Jim, and Jim was already frail. There were no witnesses, so even though we filed a complaint, we had no case. While I was helping Jim up, they stood there and laughed at us.

The wife would follow me in her car on my morning walks, and once aimed her car at me and I had to jump off of the road. Jim and I had both filed restraining orders against both of them, but if there are no witnesses, it doesn't matter.

Jim & the neighbor had been the only bachelors in the neighborhood before he moved this woman in (and eventually married her), and she was/is a total nut job. After Jim had his strokes and went to rehab, and I came home after breaking my hip and having a hip replacement, the first three times she saw me outside with a cane, she stopped her car and laughed at me.

Our houses are also only a few feet apart, so I really do know what you mean. Jim said the same thing you did - they're not going to drive me out of the home I've lived in longer than they have. But they made our lives a living hell for two years, even turning their dog loose in the yard when our young grandchildren came over to play.

I'm not saying not to do anything, I'm just saying to proceed cautiously and get a lawyer. People like this have absolutely NO boundaries and  will lie and manipulate just because they feel like it. They truly are sociopaths.
Posted: Saturday, January 7, 2012 10:28 PM
Joined: 12/21/2011
Posts: 2431

fluffy, are you the one that's in NJ?  down the shore?


Can you ask the HHA to leave, and then come back in 10 minutes?    Would that work?!  (with accidents, kind of kidding)


regarding the tree...last year, I didn't have the energy or time to put anything up, or much up...I certainly didn't want the moldy tree from downstairs to be brought up! 


My father always wants a tree, my mom came up with the idea of putting lights on the tree outside   My father loved the idea, and my mom was happy (we're not big fans of putting a ton of lights up, even though we admire other people who do)


This year, when I was first at the care place, I thought - I bet they decorate nicely - and they do!  No tree here, not even lights outside, but that place looked beautiful. And I did what I could to make her room look great  


more on that money thing in a minute

Iris L.
Posted: Saturday, January 7, 2012 10:45 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 17179

Hello, Fluffy, sorry to hear about your problems with the neighbor from hell!  Heed Cheryle's warning--these people can be sociopaths and seem to enjoy making trouble. 

I don't know what to advise you.  I live in a complex so my HOA has rules.  The Association does try to keep the rules enforced. 

I had a problem with my downstairs neighbor (the husband) until they had a plumbing backup and bathroom flood, and I helped his wife clean up the mess.  After that, he apologized and became nice to me.  Can you arrange a sewer backup for her home?  J/K


Iris L.

Posted: Saturday, January 7, 2012 11:17 PM
Joined: 12/21/2011
Posts: 2431

Hey, there are some other people I can think of that might profit from a sewer back-up, by becoming nicer!
Posted: Saturday, January 7, 2012 11:24 PM
Joined: 12/21/2011
Posts: 2431

If you're in NJ, this guy is on the radio, WABC-AM, 770, Sunday, 10 AM - 12 Noon.


He often talks about fraud problems (as I remember), and his financial advisors do free evaluations about investments (or some such thing).


He's been on ''Oprah'' and one of his recent books was ''Lies about Money.''


I'm not sure if anything he says can help, but you should talk to whomever you can talk to, maybe an elder care lawyer who specializes in fighting this kind of garbage... 


re: the pain meds for the cat - they're very constipating   Can you give probiotics?  I hear they help animals, even fish oil


re: the skin problem - could it be from the cooking for Thanksgiving?  maybe something in the turkey or stuffing bothered you?


by the way, Ric has absolutely talked about financial abuse of elders on his show... 


I wonder why ''neighbors'' do these things - I wonder if they want to chase some people out, so friends can move in, or make some money some how?


Not to be insensitive - but humans can only live so long.  There are some older folks where my mom is, up to 103! or something


Do you imagine yourself moving any time soon?  Maybe you could rent the house to a lion tamer and his lion for some time (just kidding!)


I'd ignore the neighbor, because they're willing to escalate and be horrible, and think about where you might be in the near future.


Does the Alzh association have any kind of info on dealing with these kinds of bullies?    I was looking at a school online near where we lived at one point, and it had all kinds of info on dealing with bullies - seems like dementia folks need help, too, or just older folks ?


Since this must be the day for me to post about radio shows, I put that above...he might have info about your cat situation, and perhaps the dogs...


our town must have something, because i don't hear many barking dogs...



Posted: Saturday, January 7, 2012 11:56 PM
Joined: 12/21/2011
Posts: 2431

ooh, maybe this air horn would help!

Posted: Sunday, January 8, 2012 4:06 AM
Joined: 12/17/2011
Posts: 108

Fluffy, glad to see you made it over to this new website ... so sorry for all you are still going through ... Just wanted to say Hello!  ... Betty
Posted: Sunday, January 8, 2012 11:02 AM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 29

Dear Fluffy,

I am thinking about you my friend.  ((((((()))))))  

Your friend,


Posted: Sunday, January 8, 2012 3:35 PM
Joined: 12/5/2011
Posts: 126

Oh my. All the replies I have received. I will not mention everyone by name because I know I would leave someone out. But thank you all very much. It means a lot to me. I really don't have anyone else to talk to during the day except hubby and I might as well talk to the wall sometimes. I just feel lonely sometimes. I have so much I want to get out but don't want to bore you.


:Last night at supper  I lost my patience, not that I have much of that anymore. The dogs were barking all the time we ate and when I was doing the dishes. I finally raised the shade over the sink and the boyfriend was just standing out there letting the dogs bark. He saw me and I to take the damn (bad me) dogs in. He finally did. I had the bark device on  ultra so people can't hear it but as to directions larger dogs usually aren't bothered in that setting. So I put it on setting where it is audible. I said to myself she wants to complain to police let her. I will tell them when she silences the dogs I'll silence the bark control. In don't know for sure if it is working but I hear a dog bark twice and that's it. We don't even have any birds or squirrels around here anymore. Her yard is fenced in but the dogs chase and bark at the birds and squirrels so I guess they just sstay away from the area.


Hi Rose - Yes I am the one down at the Jersey shore. I missed hearing from you onother website. There were a couple others that joined after me that used Fluffysomething. Maybe you got us confused. Anyway, good to hear from you.

Last I heard on other site wasn't your Father or Mother still at home? I can't remember. Thanks for the info on the radio show.


A while ago I did something that probably would not have been considered wise, but it turned out to be a blessing. I just picked out a name under financial advisors in phone book. Made appt. to see him. You could just see the rage on his face when he saw what the other advisor had put us in. He said the other guy was apperently after the commissions and no9t what was best for us. At the time I had some money in checking account from CD that had matured. Asked him if he woulod suggest something I could invest in,. His answer was he didn't want anything. That I should leave it where it is beacuase of husband's condition. Never kinow when I will really need it. Wow! When do you ever find anyone that isn't saying give me, give me. He even found someone who works as an arbitrator when  cases like this heard. He said I can't do anything until I actually suffer a loss. That as long as I am receiving a dividend I really have not lost. If I were to cash it in and suffer a loss then I could file a claim. This advisor calls every once in awile to see how I'mdoing and thehusband but does not want anything. But should things turn in my favor think I will put ev erything in CD's. No they don't keep up with inflations but at least you get your principal back.


Who mentioned sewer back-up? Was it Iris?  Reminds me of last year with hubby. I was engrosses in a game opf spider soitaire and hubby in bathroom. I did say it seems he's been in there quite awhile but continued with game. He the  comes out and asks if we had  plunger. A what, what did you do? I ran into bathroom but bare feet and no-wax floor do not go together when floor is wet. I went flying across the bathroom landed on myleft side. Was stunned for a few seconds but when I looked up my head was no more than 2 inches from the bathtub. Lucky. Darling husband ( not now) asked if he could help me up? He offered me hius walker. I was so mad I just said don't touch me, don't talk to me.

I crawled on my hands and knees to the bedroom which had carpet to get up. Got shoes on, went baack in bathroom and here in toilet was 5 of my new underpants.

Had only worn them once., He took them out of hamper to clean up his mess. A very distasteful job, but I did manage to get them out and in the garbage they went. Hamper now in my bedroom.


I think I am just getting burned out. It's been 10 yrs. of this. And hubby isn't getting any better. He talks to imaginary people and answers himself, is getting very demanding. Wants things when he wants it no matter what I'm doing.

always wants to go home. Keep deadbolts locked but sometimes he threatens to break a window. The Xanax sometimes works but other night didn't. I had my hands full. Called the 800 number for help but was only told to call 911 and havve him evaluated at hospital. Our hospital does not do that. Have mental health dept. but not for Alz


He may or may not be better off in ALF but I have to have some quiet time to figure ourn financial situation out. Know I  have enough for about 6 months in sav. and checking. Due ton his pension we do not qualify for any kind of aid.

Even at daycare they say he is dirsruptive. He wasn't like that awhile ago. They say he bangs on the table , bangs his walker and is upsetting to the other people there, even some that have Alz. They called me the other day and told me to give him a Xanax before he goes. And he can sometimes be uncooperative. Hah! He was like that before getting Alz. He liked to be the center of attention. Maybe I can get someone in a few hours on couple days he isn't in  day care. I just don't want to go through what I do have available when it may really be needed later.


I better go. Hubby bugging me for his supper. He gets so impatient anymore.


Rose - will get back to you about the cat.


Thanks again to all for your concern. Really means a lot to me.