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Difficult husband
Aviva
Posted: Friday, May 4, 2012 9:30 AM
Joined: 4/26/2012
Posts: 10


I just took my husband to his neurologist cause he wasn't on any memory medications  and my husband gave me a really hard time about going. We sat in the waiting room for about 15 minutes and my husband wanted to leave. Then the dr called us in. He gave my husband the excelon patch which will hopefully help his short term memory cause that's really going fast. He also gave me the name of another psychiatrist because the last one didn't help and my husband's depression is worsening. The other day I had to take our sick 21 year old daughter to the dr and he kept sending me texts about how I was abandoning him and it was ok, he'll just be alone. I am at my witt's end and want my husband, the wonderful man I married back.

Sorry for the rant. There's no one else to talk too. 


Iris L.
Posted: Friday, May 4, 2012 10:28 AM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 17952


Aviva wrote:

 

Sorry for the rant. There's no one else to talk too. 


Aviva, the behavior you describe is not uncommon for ADLOs.  Your husband is signalling to you that he feels uncomfortable and lost when left alone.  This behavior sounds more like Alzheimer's instead of depression, but I am not your husband's doctor.  You will have to think about making arrangements to take him with you everywhere, or have someone stay with him when you are away.

 

Look for a GERIATRIC psychiatrist.  They are the ones who specialize in the behaviors associated with the dementias.   

 

When you talk with your husband, don't focus on "dementia" or "Alzheimer's."  Be reassuring.  Say the doctor gave him some medication that will help his memory.  Did you get the 4.6mg patches?  He must build up his tolerance. 

 

I urge you to communicate with the other spouses and partners.  They know EXACTLY what you are going through!  You can even chat online in real time if you feel up to that. 

 

Iris L. 


Be Strong 2
Posted: Friday, May 4, 2012 3:55 PM
Joined: 12/14/2011
Posts: 1751


My wife shadowed me continuously whenever she was home.  Thankfully she went to Day Care (we called it Activity Center) 5 days per week before I placed her in a MCH.  I couldn't even go to the bathroom alone.  I would tell her where I was going and when I opened the door to come out, there she was, looking for me.  When I wasn't tripping over her it was the dog.  He also was very needy.


She forgot how to use her cell phone, we don't have a land line.  She did, however, play with her phone.  I was always waiting for a call to "Russia" to show up on the bill.  One day the phone conveniently disappeared and she never asked for it again.



Bob  


DZ
Posted: Saturday, May 5, 2012 3:36 PM
Joined: 12/7/2011
Posts: 1736


Iris L. wrote:
Aviva wrote:

 

Sorry for the rant. There's no one else to talk too. 


Aviva, the behavior you describe is not uncommon for ADLOs.  Your husband is signalling to you that he feels uncomfortable and lost when left alone.  This behavior sounds more like Alzheimer's instead of depression, but I am not your husband's doctor.  You will have to think about making arrangements to take him with you everywhere, or have someone stay with him when you are away. 

 

Look for a GERIATRIC psychiatrist.  They are the ones who specialize in the behaviors associated with the dementias.   

 

When you talk with your husband, don't focus on "dementia" or "Alzheimer's."  Be reassuring.  Say the doctor gave him some medication that will help his memory.  Did you get the 4.6mg patches?  He must build up his tolerance. 

 

I urge you to communicate with the other spouses and partners.  They know EXACTLY what you are going through!  You can even chat online in real time if you feel up to that. 

 

Iris L. 

 
Feel free to make friends on the caregivers forum. Your not alone and we know what your dealing with.
You need a shrink that understands Alz. Check with the AA help line for suggestiongs.
There are days when I look for the return goods policy <grin>. Our 50th anniversay is next month. I think my ADW is a keeper.