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Just lost my Mom this morning and feel so lost
Posted: Tuesday, July 15, 2014 9:42 PM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 701

Hello to all!  It is tough to be on this board.....instead of looking for ways to cope with a disease, I am looking for ways to cope with life again.  For those who don't recognize my screen name, I posted for years as PatF.  Glad to see names of friends I recognize from "another life".  I miss Mom so terribly, I just can hardly draw breath.  I suppose living is a learned skill and I am literally starting over.  God bless you all!
Posted: Wednesday, July 16, 2014 9:50 AM
Joined: 3/11/2012
Posts: 433

Hi yesterday,


I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your Mom. May God comfort you and bring you peace.


Hugs to you.

Posted: Wednesday, July 16, 2014 10:59 AM
Joined: 2/12/2012
Posts: 553

A soft virtual hug for you..... Try a smile thru the tears... Pauline
Posted: Friday, July 18, 2014 6:34 AM
Joined: 8/30/2012
Posts: 264

I am so sorry for your loss.  I know how you feel, I lost mom just 2 months ago and I  still find myself worrying about her!  The other night we had an extremely loud thunderstorm that woke me up.  The first thing I thought was I hope mom's not too scared, before I realized that she is gone.  While I am happy that she is no longer suffering and is at peace, I am still at a loss for myself.  Worrying about her, caring for, were such a huge part of my life.

God bless and comfort you.  We will go on, our moms would want that.

Posted: Friday, July 18, 2014 10:41 AM
Joined: 4/19/2012
Posts: 414

Please give yourself permission to "just be" for quite sometime. Whatever feelings you have are all acceptable. Whatever tiredness you feel, is what should be happening, whatever tears fall is what is to be.


If you need help, find it. A grief counselor, a good one is very helpful.


Be very gentle and kind to yourself. Time to take care of you now. Your mother would want that.


My condolences for your loss.

Posted: Friday, July 18, 2014 10:48 AM
Joined: 11/30/2011
Posts: 2105



It takes a lot of time to grieve, no timeframe, and it's a very individual process.  I still grieve for my mom who passed away almost 14 years ago and my dad more recently, two years ago.  Yes, I do feel that two years is still recent.  As time goes by, the grief is less intense, but it's still there below the surface, memories and thoughts can kick it up again.  But this is the way when we lose someone who has been in our lives for so long, our parents.


You'll find your way, take your time, the grieving process is necessary and can't be avoided.  Find ways to comfort yourself and be patient and loving towards yourself.  There are a lot of good books to read on grieving.  I found that helpful.  One that I read is On Grief and Grieving, it helped me feel normal.  Grief support groups can be helpful, too.  Just sharing with others who have gone through the same situation, helps to feel connected, to know you are not alone, and that there is hope to continue to live and to find some happiness and joy in our lifes.  Gratefulness becomes more strong for what we had and we can look forward with more appreciation for the gifts of life we will receive again.


I wish you peace and comfort.

Posted: Saturday, July 19, 2014 12:11 AM
Joined: 12/15/2011
Posts: 701

Thank you for your replies!  I guess I haven't been thinking of the grieving process because I have been grieving for the loss of my "Mom", the person who raised me, for so long.  I honestly couldn't ask her to stay another day, she had suffered with this disease for so long.......but I can't imagine living life without her.  I'm sure that you all feel this way about your LO's too.  I used to wish to be free of the burden of caregiving....guess I feel guilty about that.....
Jo C.
Posted: Sunday, July 20, 2014 9:24 AM
Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 13690

Dear Yesterday, I am sorry to hear of the loss of your dear mother and having been in a similar position, I understand what you are saying.


May solace and comfort find you soon and that you find peace in knowing that you went the distance as best you could and were there even when the times were most difficult.


With a soft hug,



Posted: Sunday, July 20, 2014 9:33 PM
Joined: 12/2/2011
Posts: 726

I am so very sorry for your loss.  You have already gotten very good advice.  I don't have anything to add but my heartfelt condolences and hugs from afar.
Posted: Tuesday, July 22, 2014 10:49 AM
Joined: 10/29/2012
Posts: 105

I am sorry for your loss.  I lost my mom 7/26/13 and grieve so much for my loss.


I am wishing you much comfort and hope you will be more peaceful as time goes by.


Lots of hugs and well wishes to you.

Posted: Tuesday, July 22, 2014 6:50 PM
Joined: 1/3/2012
Posts: 2

Very sorry for your loss. I was my mom`s caregiver for the last 2 1/2 years, and she just passed away on the 7th. This site really helped me when I took her out of assisted living to care for her.
Posted: Tuesday, July 22, 2014 10:25 PM
Joined: 7/14/2014
Posts: 26

I am so sorry to hear about your mom. Thank you for sharing your love toward your mom here. I know it is really hard. I wish our younger generation learns to love and appreciate their parents the same good way.

Wishing you all the best and blessings, strength and patience.